Seamus Heaney: A Huge Loss

As soon as my tea stained eyes fell upon these words, "Seamus Heaney, the Nobel Prize-winning Irish poet and playwright, has died," my heart gave a heave of sadness. Oh my words, what dreadful news to be met with after only a few clicks of the mouse. Especially for a fellow poet/playwright (though not as grand to put myself on Heaney's level) who looked on the Irish writer as a kind of Obi Wan Kenobi figure. One of the last living Master (capitol M) Scribe. What wretched news!
Life, you can be a swine at the best of times but today? Today you are double the pig.
I was fortunate enough to spend time with Seamus Heaney at a poetry reading in Swansea University back in 1998, and it was like being in the presence of someone who knew all the tricks. It was immense, like a film fan meeting Clint Eastwood if you changed the Arts. Believe me, you know when you are in the company of a great man, something in your spirit alerts you, and it was certainly true back in the Taliesin center all those years ago in Swansea.

'Tis a black day, losing such a genius poet when real poets are so rare in this world. I'll take leave to mourn and leave you with words by Seamus himself:

"Be advised my passport's green.
No glass of ours was ever raised
to toast the Queen."

Diana: Its All...Conspiracy

Scotland Yard to investigate whether Princess Diana was murdered?

Dai Jakes usually enjoys a good conspiracy theory, some are clever and very imaginative but the ones surrounding this accident are rubbish. Some are so weak they can produce some genuine Laugh Out Loud moments. First off, organising a car crash would NOT be an ideal way to get someone killed because very few people die in car wrecks. If it was, as suggested in some corners, a "hit" plotted by the military, they would have much more creative and sure fire methods at their disposal than causing a car crash. A vehicle wreck is loud, bold and attention grabbing. Hardly the ways of shadowy security forces.
We have already had three investigations into this tragedy, I cannot see the results of a fourth being any different; accident no foul play. Anyone with an ounce of common sense will have looked at the evidence before coming to the conclusion that there was never a shred of evidence to support the murder theory. This is why Al Fayed was laughed out of the inquest. The driver, Henri Paul, was DRUNK for crying out loud! And had been on the happy pills. He was driving at speed, at night, with paparazzi flash bulbs going off around the car. Its a miracle to me how he even got as far as the tunnel. I have never been so irresponsible to drive drunk, but I have tried cycling up my garden path after a few too many, and I didn't get 10 yards before I was in a hedge.
Add to all that the fact that none of the car's occupants was wearing a seatbelt, I cannot see how anyone would be tempted to believe it was anything other than a fatal crash. All these stories of mythical white cars disappearing from the scene, or claims that Diana was spotted standing up outside the mangled car, are just flights of fancy conjured up by fantasists. Maybe some cannot accept that a former Princess with the fairytale wedding could die so horrifically in a French tunnel. Others are obsessed with conspiracy and the Illuminati who secretly control the world's affairs (so secret and powerful are they, that weirdos on the internet have them sussed.)
Me? Well like I have said, I usually enjoy a good conspiracy theory but regard them much like the Star Wars saga or any other work of fiction. To actually believe them? That's a tad desperate don't you think? I was never a "fan" of Diana, and thought this "People's Princess business was way over the top, but she was only 36 when she perished in that fatal crash which is a criminally young age to die. Its hard to take, its a knock on our mortality. Perhaps some need to create shady scenarios as a way to push reality away? The reality being that a young mother of two, who lived most of her life in fabulous wealth and fame, had her life snuffed out in a Mercedes S280 due to a drunken chauffeur. And there is nothing more to it than that.

Okra Winfrey Throws a Tanty

Mr Jakes will be honest here; before Oprah Winfrey was told by a Swiss store that a handbag was "too expensive for her" (it cost £24,000) he had barely heard of the woman. Sure the name sounded familiar but as a gentleman who shuns television almost totally, I had imagined she was a music producer or something in that line. Since this (non) story broke, research has revealed that Winfrey is rather famous in her country, and not only famous but a billionaire to boot. There's nice, we are all thrilled for you dear. Honest.
However I am shocked some of the more serious papers over here are carrying this (non) story, and worse running with the "racism" tag. Sorry but this has nothing to do with race. All it is, is a jumped up American 'celebrity' who because the Swiss are sensible and don't show her silly programme (ive Googled it) in their country, her nose has been put out of joint because they don't know who she is. This my dear readers is about a fragile ego and vanity, not racism. Well live with it woman, we Brits hardly know you either.
This is one of the things about Americans that annoys me (and I know plenty of sweet ones.) They like to think they are the center of the universe in everything, and woe betide anyone who fails to recognise this (or any of their half baked 'celebrities'.) And no doubt they will be supporting Oprah over her traumatic European experience, while the rest of the world looks on, scratching their heads at the rampant display of egomania.
Not to fear! Dai Jakes to the rescue! *Puts Jakes cape on* Here look (below), ive made a handbag just for Oprah...


Suits you madam

Bongo Bongo Land

They drink it in the Congo you know

I had to chip in to this affair if only because of the opportunity to have an interesting title and use the classic Um Bongo advert from the 80s.
Godfrey Bloom (UKIP) has come under fire for being filmed declaring that Great Britain should not send foreign aid to "Bongo Bongo Land". Result? Lots of angry people shouting and Tweeting like Billy-O, claiming racism and that Mr Bloom has brought shame on the country. One wrote: "the Alan Clark tradition is one of extreme right-wing comedy which is designed to provoke."
Does it though? Am I the only person who thinks this is massive fuss over nothing? Well no, actually I am not because an African lady called LBC radio and knocked the nail bang on the head when she said, "Bongo Bongo land is not offensive, certainly not as offensive as white liberals always jumping in to try and defend blacks." Well said lady, this really needed saying after hearing all the other pompous guff that has been said online over this.
I don't think for one minute that Godfrey meant anything malicious when he said "Bongo Bongo Land". Crikey the late Alan Clark used the words himself, and it didn't do him any harm. That was many years ago though, we have become too sensitive as the years piled up. And just to be clear here, there is no place for racism in the 21st century. Racism is abhorrent and belongs only in the minds of knuckle-draggers and thugs. But "Bongo Bongo Land"? No worse than calling us Welsh "sheep sh*ggers", or the Australians "convicts" (which I saw Tweeted often during the last Ashes cricket match. Well done on that victory too!)
Like I say, we have become too sensitive, too ready to be offended and spout faux outrage on Twitter and Youtube. I shudder to think where its all heading, especially being a poet/writer where I am making up new names/titles every day. I don't wish to live under a constant dread of offending somebody by using those newly created names. Respect different cultures by all means, its the civilised way but let's not get so worked up over silly, throwaway names that should never be able to provoke such anger in the first place. We will bitterly regret it if we do, mark my words.

Great British Heatwave

Dryslwyn (pic by me)

Phew! How is everyone coping with this recent visit by the sun on British Isles? Had your fill of fans and ice cream yet? I must admit, im currently typing this right now whilst camped under a giant fan which is going like the clappers, keeping my inbuilt 'Weather Whinge-o-meter' in check (all Brits have this when too much rain or sun arrives.) Im certain complaining about the weather was written into the Magna Carta alongside tea breaks and fish & chips but you know what? I think we are changing our habits because I have not heard (or read rather) much of it on sites like Twitter and Facebook, indeed most folks are actually ENJOYING this run of fabulous weather! Shock! Horror!
Even with heatwave warnings approaching 'level 3' (whatever this means) the griping about "its too hot mun" or "the plants could do with some rain now" are being kept at minimum. Or at least it has amongst my friends and aquaintances. Its wonderful waking up to glorious sunshine piling in through the curtains like rays of butter, eager to settle on your morning toast. Spain has had nothing on Britain for this last week and I feel for those Brits who have paid for a Spanish holiday to escape our usual grey and miserable summer, only to discover that the grass was for once greener (and more frazzled) on the UK side of the fence.
And for any overseas readers who have yet to visit our shores, you really need to see Great Britain in the sun because it truly transforms into such a beautiful place. Cricket on lazy town greens. The wildly handsome Pembrokeshire coast, twinkling like mad diamonds. Riverside picnics as canal boats crawl past in idle fashion. The majesty of places like Lake Vyrnwy and the Lake District, still maps in God's mighty heart. Deckchairs on beaches while piers stretch out like bony fingers. Grand castles drenched in ancient history, offering damp shade within their walls to sweltering visitors. Carnivals, fishing fetes, happy Brits in eccentric poses, soaking up a much missed dose of summer.
I was only 5 years old in 1976 when we had that scorcher of a summer here in the UK but I do have specks of memories of it; I particularly recall the bone dry cricket pitch in Burry Port park and the burning pavements of Station Road, one of the main streets in the town. And I also remember the hungry queues in Barrie's Plaice waiting patiently for fish & chips, happily swapping local gossip. It was a wonderful time and this week, seeing photographs online of people taking a dip in the Serpentine Lido in Hyde Park and sun worshippers relaxing on various Welsh beaches has brought those memories back with a beautiful vengeance.
Now dear readers, you must excuse me, I have a date with a choc ice!

Britain Rules the Sport

What a fantastic weekend of sport it has been for us Brits! Dear God, I think the beer is flowing still! First the British & Irish Lions win the Test Series in Australia with a convincing display that showed we are streets ahead of the Aussies. Then (ad this was the biggie) Andy Murray became the first Brit in 77 years to win at Wimbledon, while on the same day Northern Ireland's Graeme McDowell took the French Open at the tough Le Golf National.
Fantastic! And it was even more brilliant for the still dizzy Mr Jakes because rugby, tennis and golf are my favourite sports.
Was this one of the greatest days in British sport? Its got to be in with a shout. Heck Murray getting a slam at Wimbledon makes it special without the rugger and golf but the triple whammy made for a grand three course sporting feast. And who knows? The Ashes series (cricket) against our arch rivals the Aussies begins on Wednesday and we have a good chance of winning those too. Oh so sweet is victory after a few years in the sporting doldrums! I really do believe our success at last years Olympics kick started it all, there is definitely a bit of that spirit lingering in our athletes.
However to misquote Shakespeare, the course of true sporting highs never did run smooth, and it would seem the First Minister of Scotland, Alex Salmond upset a few people by waving the Saltire (Scottish flag) in the Royal Box at Wimbledon. I personally think it a hulabaloo over nothing, I mean Andy Murray is Scottish, what was Salmond supposed to wave? The flag of Japan? I can assure you dear reader that if Dai Jakes ever created sporting history (I can dream!) then I would be extremely angry/saddened if the Welsh dragon, y Ddraig Goch, wasn't flying.
Still I don't want to end on a sour note when people are still buzzing from such a fabulous weekend, long may it continue, long may Britain become great once more not by the hostilities of our history but through the camaraderie of sporting events.

Wales Opt IN for Organ Donation

Last night Wales became the first country in Great Britain to introduce a policy of presumed consent for organ donation. The Human Transplantation Bill (in Wales) was approved by the National Assembly (43 in favour, only 8 against) so from 2015 people who have been a resident in Wales (18+ age) for more than 12 months will have to make it clear they do not wish to donate their organs, and if not then consent will be deemed to have been given.
Now inevitably there are have been murmurs of disagreement, and arguments from religious angles but on the whole, folk have thought it a positive step with some doctors admitting its very forward thinking of Wales.
Dai Jakes thoroughly approves too; it gives me a warm glow inside to think bits of my body will be living in someone else after ive shuffled off this mortal coil (providing any organs are of use of course!) A final good deed and triumphant last hurrah of a life lived well (or at least as well as one could.) Why not? Im sure there are clever philosophical arguments to be made against automatic organ donation but when all is said and done, you will be dead and being dead doesn't require petty things as limbs and eyeballs, trust me on this. You will either be spirit or dust.
Still not convinced by the always humble Mr Jakes? No worries! This isn't mandatory, having an opt out system for organ donation doesn't remove any rights from you so simply opt out. Easy. I could stir the pot and finish by saying, heck if you feel so strongly about it, carry a card which says, "Im A Selfish Person And Don't Want My Organs Used After Death ", but im in a fairly jovial mood today so I won't. Toodle pip for now!