Where Stones Are Set

Grand view

Dai Jakes is a trifle bored with all the whining about empty seats and security gaffs at these London 2012 games. By the Heavens, if moaning and griping were olympic events, some peole would be sure fire Gold medal winners, including my good self but I digress.
I want to talk about the venues. One thing these games have, and have in abundance are historic places to hold the events. Don't think so? Allow me to change your mind.

Wimbledon for tennis.
Lord's cricket gound: archery.
Horse Guards Parade: beach volleyball.
Earls Court: again for volleyball
Greenwich Park on the River Thames and London's oldest Royal park dating back to 1433: Equestrian events.
Hyde Park: Triathlon, 10k Open Water Swim.
Regents Park: road cycling
Royal Artillery Barracks: Shooting, Paralympic Shooting, Paralympic Archery
Wembley Stadium: football.

I don't think we're doing too badly myself. No disrespect to America and Australia but being younger countries, Sydney and Atlanta couldn't offer spots like the above for olympic venues. Yeah yeah that bridge in Sydney harbour is nice enough but its hardly London Bridge with all the class and elegance this old timer has. These places haven't simply been knocked up in the last few years, these are iconic venues which have made their mark on hundreds of history books.
Im willing to wager that every great British writer from Milton to Amis has walked through Greenwich Park. And Horse Guards Parade? The political HQ for the United Kingdom. I bet that place could name drop a few important folk if it were able to lay it stony hand on a tongue.
So while we have admittedly had a few mishaps, having these games in London has at least been visually pleasing. A lot of racing videogames have their circuits screaming around the capital city, and I always thought it cool to see Big Ben and Parliment in the background as I whizzed by in a modded Skyline. Always knew a major sporting event would look good there and now we know for certain.

Okay interwebz, continue with thy moaning. Dai Jakes has left the building.

To Be Seen Is To Be Queen

Just brilliant!

What can I say? Eager was I to put a wordy bullet into the ceremonial body of the opening of London Games 2012, but after watching the show last night and on more than one instance of catching my jaw, I will have to keep my 'gun' in safe in its holster. It was spectacular!
This was a riot of a show perforated with ghostly reflections of the past and held together by the solemn girth of hymns and the proud pomp that only trumpets can produce.
I concede that director Danny Boyle did make some bits hard for those outside the UK to 'get' but presumably they understood the significance given to our literature/music and our contribution to the modern world through the industrial revolution through to the world wide web. Im also guessing they understood our world renowned quirky, self mocking sense of humour, and the acknowledgement that by and large we manage to be a people of tolerance and community.
Kudos must go to Her Majesty for her first 'acting' debut alongside 007 Daniel Craig (see above video) and that entrance was shall we say inspired. Very very cool. Who would ever have guessed it was the real Queen that had her back to Bond as he entered the room? Delightfully sporting of you Ma'am!
So a great ceremony all told (apart from Paul MacCartney but thats personal to me because I dislike his music) and I pity the organisers of the next Olympics in Rio in four years time.

Backing the London Games?

London Games 2012. Its almost upons us and the great British public are all behind this Olympics. We shall all be glued to our fabulous new 3D giant screens, bought for the event and waving our little Union Jack flags (pack of ten for a fiver in major supermarkets) with smug patriotic smiles carved into every jolly face. Brittania rules the waves! God bless the Queen guv'nor, we are British innit?
Now call me cynical but Dai Jakes isn't easily fooled so off I went to collect the thoughts of the public. And because its far too nice weather to go walking the streets with a microphone, annoying shoppers and dodging 11am drunks, I decided to trawl the comments sections of online newspapers and forums. So, is the UK really backing the 2012 games? See for yourself.

"I for one will not be watching OUR TAX money going up in smoke just for the hoi polloi to enjoy while we are saturated with this debacle most of us did not want or need."

"I'll tell you what's in it for me. A 1 hour traffic jam before 6am becuase some bright spark wants to close roads when no Olympic traffic actually needs them."

"So far out of all the Olympics hype there has been little discussion about the athletes themselves. Is it me or has it all got a bit too commercial and going the same direction as Christmas."

"No wonder the taxman is squeezing us,god knows how much money will go up in smoke that could help the soldier heroes pensions."

"Ive seen part of the opening ceremony. Against the technical brilliance of the Chinese Olympic ceremony Its predictably embarrassing and most of the world outside Britain won't get it. Laser shows are so 80's and mexican waves as cheesy as they come. Farm animals, London buses, a cricket team, lots of fake rain and manufactured music topped off with the usual generic fireworks. So where did £240m go?"

Are we all feeling the love yet? No? Okay continue.

"I predict for most the Olympic legacy will be the £5 ice cream,the £10 pint of beer and the £5 cup of tea,and a hike in their rent if they live in London. In other words nothing but financial woes.
Not all doom and gloom,because those with their noses in the trough, see the games as a wonderful opportunity to do some profiteering."

"Benefit from the games? Maybe if you come from a shite hole in Africa, I can see that my cat's litter box would be a step up. However, for us that see this whole sham as nothing more than a vehicle for the rich and greedy to get even more obscenely richer, you will have to excuse my lack of enthusiasm."

"Well they won't improve my life unless they improve the accessibility of sport to me (which I very much doubt). Having McDonalds as sponsers shows how much the people running the olympics care about other people's health."

"What a load of rubbish this Olympic farce has become. Looking at the London Olympics in 1948 compared to this joke is embarrassing; I dread to think what will be conjured up for the opening ceremony. The sooner this circus is over the better."

"The Olympics are a disgusting sham - a pathetic attempt by the government to get us to ignore the biting social and economic problems in the UK, not to mention a prime opportunity for Tory cronies and mega-corps to rake in obscene profits at the expense of the taxpayer.
Don't forget the rampant drug cheating in practically every Olympic sport and the way ordinary small businesses and local residents have been banned from using specific terms like "London", "Summer" and "2012" in their advertising. Also, we were all English during the World Cup - now suddenly we're all a part of Team GB?"

"The Olympics have already been hijacked, by the IOC & Locog plutocrats, by McDonalds, Coca Cola and other supersizing junk food parasites and by the Westminster autocrats and their stormtroopers in Whitehall.
Londoners and those living in London have been advised to stay at home, not to use public transport or in any way get in the way of the Olympic plutocrats being whisked round the city on public roads closed to the public.
For several weeks the sovereignty of the UK and the freedom of
Londoners has been surrendered to the government securocrats, the Olympic nabobs and to the general circus economics of staging this event. It compromises the ability of people in London to do their job and earn a living,
it tramples on the freedoms of ordinary people, it is accountable
to nobody outside the Olympic plutocracy and gives free reign to the games branding police now roaming our streets and bullying our businesses.
London is now at the mercy of alien commercial interests, kudos for the political classes and the hysterical phony patriotism."

Our Daley Bread

All this talk about who should light the flame for London 2012 is a nonsense. Everyone knows it ought to be Daley Thompson, if only for this computer game alone.

Olympic Woes

Nothing but the best for our boys

British Army sleeping off an 18 hour shift as they handle security for the London Games 2012. Makes you proud doesn't it? Well I AM proud of the soldiers, what im less impressed with (as should we all) is the way they are being treated by the shambles that is the Olympic organisers. Shocking picture but I fear this is only the start of things to come.
We've already had teams getting lost in London, bosses uncertain whether all of the security staff will turn up for work and half an hour lopped off the opening ceremony. Stay tuned to the Dai Jake's Book blog as the adventure unfolds!

Oh Reign of Rains, Rain Our Reign!

Mr Jakes is in the middle

So far, so rain. Here we are halfway through July and summer 2012 is rapidly turning into a damp squib (emphasis on 'damp'). Britain of course isn't reknowned for champagne sunshine and vanilla whipped beaches but I do recall it being better than this. Roll back the dead days (1987/8 spring immediately to mind) and we have in fact experienced some fabulous summer months. For instance when I was in school, I don't remember having any truly awful weather during summer holidays. I remember shading under trees, discarding blazers and cooling off with ice but there was hardly ever (if at all) parka coats from June to September. Did I live in a parallel universe? Am I hoisting a Texan sun over my rose tinted spectacles? Not at all! Summers were alive and burning in my youth and I still remember the blaze on my sandy flesh. I can stll feel the sting of sunburn and saltwater from too many hours spent on Burry Port and Cefn Sidan beaches, and the hard parched gardens on which cricket and tennis were played. It was glorious, I remember it all so well.
Fastforward to 2012 however and things are not quite the same. We have not yet had back to back sunny days during this July and if any teenagers happen to read this they'll probably not believe the paradise I described in opening this post. All they can see if rain and heavy fog. The only sunshine they are likely to see is if they hop on a plane abroad because it seems the sun don't call on Britain anymore. (And I can't say I blame it either.)
Climate change? Planets shifted their mighty seats? Too much Facebook? Who knows what has happened but happened it has and it looks likely to not be reverting back anytime soon, so you'd better get used to those wellingtons and brollys. Personally Dai Jakes loves it! For one I don't have to see peoples withered and crooked toes, pointing out from flimsy sandals as they slap along busy promenades, hunting down half melted ice cream. I abhor sandals! As I have said elsewhere, this tyoe of footwear has the ability to make even the most beautiful woman look plain. (And im being kind there.) Also the cheap looking 'tramp stamps' (tattoos on young girls lower backs) are kept hidden when the weather is miserable and surely most sensible folk would be happy with this small mercy. Sexy? I beg to differ madam, you must have swallowed too many 'happy pills' on your way to the ink seat.
So a mixed post then today. Yes I did enjoy basking in the sand caked years of times now lost forever, but not being a particular great fan of the sun I am not sad to see things change. Especially when such ugly little habits appear whenever the sun does decide to its overgrown yellow chops.

Reversal of Civilization

Dai Jakes has written about this before but its important to revisit the subect before all hope is lost forever under the burning carcass that used to be a language. We live in an age of super quick messaging where Facebook, Twitter et al rule supreme. It would seem that proper use of grammar and spelling has proven to be too time consuming for modern communication. The beautiful language of Milton and Shakespeare long forgotten, replaced with the ever foul 'text speak', or as I prefer to call it, gibberish.
Welcome to the Reversal of Civilization! The decline in written and spoken language will be one of the most influential factors into our decline and I shall in time be proven correct. And if this blog survives 100 years or so I would like to point out to future readers that the rot of language didn't go entirely unnoticed. Mr Jakes saw it coming years ago.
Should more have been done to preserve it? Maybe but you see the majority were too busy learning new 'words' like scwl (school), prolly (probably), LOL (laughs out loud) and lwk (look). Dear God they even look vulgar! But alas what the majority want, is what they will eventually get so we are stuck with it. Stuck with the 'accomplishment' of having murdered a language so beautifully used by Keats and Byron.
Those who have had their minds rotted by celebrity and television will not care but there are few of us who think it terribly sad and a disgrace.

Federer Rogers Murray

New Wimbledon tents available at all good camping stores soon!

Andy Murray is the first Briton in 74 years to reach a Wimbledon final and Britain expected much of him. He didn't disappoint either even if ultimately losing. He started the game with racket blazing, winning the first set despite all the naysayers pointing out he'd never won a set in his three other Grand Slam appearances. Balls to them then. Such was his play that I thought he was going to walk it, even against the supremely talented Roger Federer.
For once it looked good for British sport and the audience in center court were buzzing (including the obligatory celebrities like David Beckham but never his wife of course).
Federer won the second set with some magnificent shots but the rain interupted set three and the roof was pulled over the court making it look like a giant hermit crab. By this time Murray was probably happy for the break, anythig to stop the Swiss tennis maestro getting into his stride. When a champion loses the first set, its best go up a gear to prove who the real champion is and Federer showed touches of genius throughout this match.
We all knew in our heads that Murray would more than likely lose but it was exciting to follow the heart for a while. The Fed Machine went into overdrive in set four and the cake was his for the eating. There is no shame in losing to a master of the sport. Andy Murray can and should be proud of today, he'll win a Slam one day judging on this performance. Well done Andy, well done Roger.

** By the way the BBC have fine tennis champions on the commentary team with Boris Becker and John McEnroe so why they go and spoil it by including the weedy Tim Henman is a mystery to me. He's won nothing of any real significance and stands out like a banana amongst a box of cucumbers.

The Feathered Gavel

If anyone still needed proof of how soft our British courts have become, read on: a man found guilty of manslaughter yesterday, was told to expect a jail term. Judge Mr Justice Williams told the man in the dock that he had “no option but to impose a prison sentence”.
This is how far along the path of leniency our courts have gone. A guy commits manslaughter (murder in its other name), where the victim loses their precious life and a judge, almost as if he is afraid to mention 'prison', has to warn the killer that he must impose a custodial sentence. Could someone slap me the face please? It is time call time on this madness!
There was a time when anyone found guilty of such a serious crime as manslaughter, could expect nothing but the sternest condemnation from our Justices, followed by a lengthy prison sentence and not once would the judge show any sign that he was sorry to impose it. He sent the miserable prisoner down without remorse, satisfied he had banged the gavel of Lady Justice and had the approval of a grateful public.
But times have changed and favour now swings the way of the lawless as we bend further backwards to pamper and accomodate the criminals among us. Warnings for first time paedophile offences. A puny 12 years for murder. Videogames and satelite TV in jails. Choice of meals. Somewhere in the middle of all this change we slipped the leash and lost sight of proper punishment, believing (mostly through the trickery of liberals) that a softer, more forgiving hand was the sensible way to go.
Does it work? Hardly, all its ever given us was apologetic judges, simpering to the thugs in front of them like the one mentioned above.

Sons Of Success (and Not)

Ganadores

Dai Jakes is not the biggest football fan in the world to say the least but big congratulations are due to Spain, the newly crowned European Champions 2012 after beatig Italy 4 - 0. Spain have now entered sportings history books by becoming the first team to ever to win back to back European Championsips so San Miguel's all round! I didn't watch the game because like I say, im not a fan of the sport but I did have commentary on the radio playing in the background and it sounded an exciting games. (As thrilling as grown men kicking a ball around a pitch could be anyway).
Now of course the Spanish players will all have praise and honour bestowed upon them and rightfully so, its a huge achievement (whatever Mr Jakes happens to think of football) and they should wallow in all the riches and success that will come their way. Good luck to them, its been well earned and proof that ones chosen path in life can truly pay off when dedication is applied.
On the other side of the footballing coin, take a look at England players who have been seen in newspapers, sunning their pale hides in Ibiza and Los Angeles for days now. Wearing oversized sunglasses and with cheap women (money doesnt buy class) hanging off their arms, they look as if they are having a great time but consider this: had they any real talent whatsoever, they would have been in Kiev last night, not California. Toodle pip for now!