Blazing Wet Cage of Fish

I think Nicholas Cage is an average actor. At best. There ive said it. Again. Now this normally wouldn't bother me, hell im free to ignore his movies afterall. But here's the rub; Ghost Rider. I am a huge fan of the comics world and old flaming skull is a big favourite of mine. (Thats one of my Ghost Rider figures in the photo below). Now can you see my grumble? Having Cage play Johnny Blaze for me (block capitals because this is my opinion) is like getting Rowan Atkinson to play BruceWayne/Batman.


Ghost rider in the...living room

And all I thnk is 'urgh!' Some folk say Keanu Reeves is a wooden actor and this may be true but Cage is worse. He has all the presence of a wet fish up there on the screen. Less frightening too. I thought it was hilarious when they cast him as the bad ass in Con Air, especially as he was appearing in a film with real bad assed actors like Danny Trejo and Johm Malkovich. Oh my sides did I LOL!
Some actors make long hair look cool and sexy. Heck long hair IS cool and sexy and yet in Con Air, John Poe looked like the love child of Lurch and Worzel Gummidge. Face it (face~ache?), Nic is no looker.
So now you see my utter disappointment with Ghost Rider.
Johnny Blaze is a young spunky guy for crying out loud. Neither of which can be said of the walking chin that is Cage. So who would the esteemed Dai Jakes pick? Well two straight off the bat are Robert Pattinson (of the vampire thingy), and Ryan Hurst who plays Opie in Sons of Anarchy. Both these guys are streets ahead of 'Knickerless' Nicholas.
Sort it out Hollywood casting types. Do a reboot like whats happening with Spiderman and cast one of these boys.

Hot For Johnny Depp

So Steven Tyler (Aerosmith) is writing a song with Hollywood messiah Johnny Depp. According to various interwebz sites Tyler said, "He asked me, he said, 'I want you to come over' — he's got a studio here in L.A. — 'and see if I'm playing 'Seasons of Wither' right.' I said, 'Y'know what, Johnny? No matter how you play it, it's gonna be right. It's a beautiful thing.'"
Oh puleeze! Pass me the sick bag already! There is nothing worse than hearing or seeing two genuinely gifted guys kiss each others behinds.


You Gonna Pose With It Or Play It?

And before ya' all get the wrong idea, I like these guys! Big fan of both Aerosmith and the Deppster, but reading the gushing of Mr Tyler made me cringe in my studded boots. Did he have to sound so pukey? Heres a guy who has ingested vast quantities of booze and drugs, and rocked a trillion faces, sounding like a teenage girl talking about her first crush.
Yes Johnny Depp is a fine actor (ignoring the sh!tty sequels to Pirates Of The Caribbean) and will no doubt be remembered as such but the fawning over him sometimes goes way over the top. Its not his fault of course, he just carries on being his cool self but if you ever stumble across this corner of the interwebz Johnny, would you be so kind as to tell your fans to tone it down a touch? Diolch (thank you), your number one fan but with less tongue up your butt.