Dai's Top Ten iPhone Games

I am an avid videogamer and with eight working consoles set up at home one could say without fear of exaggeration that I can't get enough of gaming. But for the life of me, I never imagined I would take smartphone games seriously. They seemed so throw away, with less content than a budgie's leg and graphically I always though more Snakes than Bioshock, so you can imagine the suprise I had when I played my first iPhone game (Rat On A Skateboard) a few weeks ago. On previous mobile phones I largely ignored the games but on getting a smartphone I figured the games would have stepped up their er....game. And you know what? I was right!
Rat On A Skateboard was fun, funky, addictive and in glorious colour (black & white Nokia games anyone?) indeed everything a good game should be. *Adopts Yoda Voice* Excited was I.
The iPhone 3GS and 4S have brilliant games on offer, hell they even have (and this gave me the Bioshock of shocks) Playstation 2 titles to play. Fancy playing Grand Theft Auto 3 and Chinatown Wars? You can! There are even murmurs of San Andreas coming too! My flabber is truly gasted. Mobile gaming has arrived at long last. And here are some Must Haves.


1. Angry Birds (free and to buy)

If you've not heard of Angry Birds yet, you are either (A) dead or (B) struggling so much with technology that you still own a pager and play albums on cassette. The concept is simple: fire (angry) birds at green pigs from slingshots in order to wreck whatever wooden/concrete/glass fortress the pesky swines have taken refuge in. There are different types of bird to do this, from those who cannonball through the air to others which explode. Its fabulously addictive and is brimming with One-More-Go goodness. And with Rio, Seasons and Space to go along with the original Angry Birds game you can rest assure the feathered ones will keep you going for quite a while yet.

2. Pac Man (£2.99p)

No introduction needed, everyone (even the guy with a pager) knows Pac Man. And he has been faithfully recreated for the iPhone, right down to the nifty little red joystick which you control via touch screen. I love it! Oh and if you don't fancy paying £2.99, there is a free Lite version available.

3. Highway Rider (free)

I only discovered this game a few hours ago and already ive clocked up many miles on its speedy (not to mention dangerous) roads. I am stunned this was FREE because I would gladly pay a few quid for this little cracker. Grab a motorbike (which you can customize) and guide your rider (also customizable) along highways at ridiculously quick speeds while avoiding cars and lorries. The more dangerous your riding, the faster you go and players are rewarded for overtaking vehicles as closely as possible. In short, ride like a suicidal maniac with total disreguard for physical well being and safety. If you crash (and you WILL) the camera slows down to capture all that painful breakage of bones, which actually get listed on screen together with an estimation of what your medical bill would cost. (What? No NHS?) Brilliant fun!

4. Golden Axe (69p)

Remember this on the Sega Megadrive console? You can now own it on iPhone. Be warned though! The controls can be fiddly at first but practice makes perfect and you will be glad when you nail them because Golden Axe is a classic.


Slinging great!

5. Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2012 (69p)

Fancy a knock on the greens? There's a whole console game here including the PGA Tour, Multiplayer, Closest To Pin Challenge, Tiger Challenge and quite frankly im amazed its so cheap. Under 70p for all this? I am IN sir! This was my first game purchase and at that price you'd be mad not to get it (uless you hate golf). Buy equipment and upgrades in the Pro shop, customize your golfer, its the same as my Xbox 360 version for crying out loud! Controls are simple and responsive, just pull back your finger to swing and bring it down to smack the ball. Graphics are great and you can link the game to Facebook and post your best results on your wall. It even has your Facebook profile pic on the greens to mark your closest shot to the flag. Quite brilliant!

6. Temple Run (free)

A longtime favourite for iPhone users and I curse all those wasted hours that I missed (I only got it yesterday). Run away from Demon Monkeys along crumbling walls, wooden paths while jumping over tree stumps and diving under low hurdles, all with one swipe of the finger. It works like a dream and when you come a cropper its down to you, no blaming the fluid like control system. How some of these games are FREE I'll never understand because you wouldn't feel ripped off even paying a couple of pounds for them.

7. Downhill Xtreme Skateboarding (free)

Another stunning title for nowt. Speed skate down various hills and slopes worldwide, starting in sun drenched California as punk (includes bands like The Clench and We Outspoken) bleeds from the iPhone speakers, pumping you up to get that first place. You can do solo runs or race against other players and when you first see this in action, you will understand (if you haven't already) that phone games have finally arrived. Some of them, this title included, look flipping amazing.

8. Paperboy SD (69p)

Okay RetroHeads, get downloading this classic game from the golden era of videogames, the 1980s! Yes its Paperboy Special Delivery! Tilt the screen back and forward to speed up/slow down and touch left/right on screen arrows to steer and avoid obstacles like drunks, fireworks and tornados. Its even kept that oh so familiar soundtrack. Bonus!

9. Slingshot Racing (69p)

Now this game is my current favourite out of them all. Its a top down racer (think Micro Machines V4) and you guide your car around tracks by using a slingshot. Its a novel way of racing and it works well. As with the others, it looks like polished knees on happy bees too.

10. Hambo (free but upgrades are paid)

Rambo is a pig. Literally! Work out the best ricochet shot to shoot other pigs from platforms, this is nearly as addictive as Temple Run and definately worth a download. You can check out Highway Rider in the video below.

* Prices were correct at time of publishing.

Fists Over the Mirage

I Can See You

People over on Twitter are getting excited over some television show being aired for the first time in the UK tonight. I find this ever so sad. We used to be inspired by Shakespeare, Everest, the Oceans and the flight of birds. Now it is television that gets the people off. The death of Mankind. You think Dai Jakes overly dramatic? Not when one considers we shall never see the likes of Da Vinci ever again. Yes we still have brilliant inventors and innovators but by and large our (or rather yours as I dont watch) imaginations have been cut to the quick by the relentless tide of rubbish television, made worse by countless channels and the need to fill them. Anything can get on TV these days.
I won't belabour the fact because my views about television are quite clear and well known but after witnessing such blind fever over a mere television show, I can only reiterate my feelings on the subject. And despair at the hopelessness of it all. Talk about putting a gun to your head, the majority of people are willingly stupefying themselves without seeming to care one jot. Still I mustn't be too harsh on them because perhaps its their way of numbing the senses and they use television in the same way as others use alcohol and drugs.
Still, I find it very sad to think hardly anyone reads the classic novels anymore and prefer iPods and the like. True the great books are available to download from places like iBooks but who is it (apart from yours truly) that is reading them? Not many I would wager.
Do thyselves a big favour and bin the dreadful television (or watch less), your mind and imagination will thank you. It doesn't like to be spoonfed ideas you know.

***** ***** ***** *****

No doubt amazed a person could ever live without television (when most seem hoplessly addicted), a few folks have asked me if I miss it. Three words: dear God no! Why on earth would I? I switched off a while ago now, and feel much better for having pulled the plug. More free, less cluttered in ideas and this is what people don't realise, the sense of liberation one gets when not glued to a TV timetable/guide is fantastic, like a dense fog suddenly lifted from the spirit. I doubt I will ever go back to watching lobotovision, the bland programes and series on offer are just not worth it and I prefer fresh air and books. Hell I would even take another episode of alcohol cold turkey over it!
Life for me now is less than 1% television. I do watch the news once a day (but its more often radio I hear it) and I enjoy Sons Of Anarchy (although ive never watched it on the tube, DVD boxsets only). And regardless of what other people think (to be honest I doubt theyre still capable of honest thought), I am NOT missing a darned thing. Whatever silly show or drama series you could suggest to me, I could offer you a thousand times more in the works of Shakespeare for example, or simply by walking the countryside and gazing at red kites. Life is never made richer by flicking the remote control but try a book, a good book, and you will be amazed and perhaps even inspired (but small steps first).
Also never get it in your head and believe thay I am missing out on anything by my television abstinence. That is delusion at its finest and proving how good a job TV does of mashing your mind. It is the people who ignore the works of the immortal and great who are missing out but alas for around 75% they are forever lost, doomed to digital purgatory in a hell I would fear more than Dante's vision. Over the top? Yes I am prone to being OTT when I witness such wilful ignorance being displayed without shame and in such abundance. Unlike most I feel with my soul, not my skin therefore the stings from mortal folly burn me to my chore.
Of course now it sounds like I am lambasting television as the death of orignal ideas and I am but also from discovering my freedom and even after what Ive written here, everyone is free to follow whatever brings them pleasure and certainly I hold no malice or grudges againt anyone because I have no right (nor wish) to take away anyones entertainment. Each to their own. Stripped of all this wordy mass, I guess this is an appeal from a humble poet and writer to people to give literature another chance because from where I sit I only watch words being drowned by the deafening volume of television and its heartbreaking.

Olympic Fever in Carmarthen

Jail Hill gets in the mood

The Olympic Torch passed through Carmarthen yesterday and of course the Dai Jake's Book was there to see this fairly historic event. (Its a kind of a once in a lifetime deal). As you can see from the photographs and videos here, the weather was fabulous and the same can be said of the folks who turned up to cheer the torch on its way (Pembrokeshire and Aberystwyth after us).
Carmarthen Athletics ground and park (where we were) was buzzing with excitement and thanks to the brass band playing old classics, it all felt awfully British. Especially when the vintage cars rolled up, both Welsh and Union Jack flags flapping lazily from their bonnets.


Vintage British cars on show


And the band played on

The torch began its journey in Swansea and passed through (among others) Llanelli, Burry Port, Kidwelly, Carmarthen, Haverfordwest, Fishguard and Aberystwyth in order to spread a little Olympic fever around west Wales. Whatever you think of the forthcoming games in London (im not a big fan myself), there was no denying the 'feel good' factor in town yesterday.
Many thanks to my friend Hannah for that great close up shot of the torch (below).


Photo courtesy of Hannah Sian Griffiths Harries

I probably won't be watching much of London Olympics when it starts but I must admit that Dai Jakes enjoyed that community spirit yesterday. Our Wales fach did us proud and seeing the torch photographed against the equally historic old gaol is something very special indeed. Da Iawn pawb!


Mind the minor grumble

Only Fools Lose Tongues

Readers should know that I am extremely passionate about anything Welsh and belonging to Wales, and I am opposed to anything that will harm my great country so I had to cool off before composing this little piece. Drink in hand? Then I'll begin. So the Western Mail has come out and said that we would be wasting money by spending £400,000-a-year translating meetings held at the National Assembly into Welsh. Fine, let us have everything in Welsh then, afterall this is Wales not England.
Its quite frankly idiotic for this paper to suggest such things, especially when we are haemorrhaging money for things like the London Olympics and its downright offensive to proud Welshmen/women like myself who with every fibre of our being love Welsh, are Welsh, think Welsh, dream Welsh and will die Welsh. Im glad ive never bought the Western Mail for surely if I had I never would again. Contemptable rag!
Welsh was my first language and I attended Welsh schools where english was hardly heard and I am so glad of this. I believe any parent worth their halen should have their children speaking Welsh and I look dimly on those who don't. Other countries are proud of their mother tongues and so should we and how wonderful it sounds when I walk the streets of Carmarthen and Llanelli and hear Welsh being spoken by both young and old. It warms the Penclawdd cockles of my Celtic heart., it really does.
Think on this: Italy without Italian. Japan without Japanese. Wales without Welsh. How absurd! We should all be wanting to KEEP our language and those who don't like it ought to clear off to England. When you support Wales in rugby or football (or any other sport), you are not simply supporting a team. You are supporting the COUNTRY, all of it and that means the language too. Shame on those who would like to see our language wiped off signs and the like for surely you are helping to kill off something that should be part of your spirit. Indeed its alien for me to even consider harming the culture of Wales.
Embrace being Welsh! Cherish our rich history and if you or your children don't speak Welsh then learn it! And anyone who thinks differently, you know where the bridge is. Diolch am eich clustiau.

R.I.P. Robin

Robin Gibb passed sunday evening aged 62. His band the Bee Gees sold over 200 million records worldwide, and while I was never a fan in the usual sense of the word (I never owned any of their singles/albums), I did enjoy the more famous songs, which were impossible to ignore due to the fact radio would have been pretty bland without tunes like Staying Alive or Night Fever kicking out.
The Bee Gees crafted some of THE most catchiest songs this side of Heaven and while other popular bands like The Beatles and Queen failed to touch my soul (or even my inner earhole), those Gibb brothers did. Songs by the artists of today age in five minutes, but Bee Gees music are timeless. Check out the brilliant Tragedy video below to see what I mean.

Good night Robin, if you could make me want to disco then you were certainly doing it right.

Thug Idol

Are we really all that bothered by acts of violence in sports? Boxers David Haye and Derek Chisora ended up brawling at press conference and after the initial faux outrage in the headlines from newspapers and calls for lifetime bans, everything calmed down to the extent that this pair are now due to meet in a big figh night at Upton Park which will earn each of them nice paydays. And yesterday footballer Joey Barton saw red (again) and even after being handed a red card went on to try and headbutt and kick other players. Yet again there was the initial calls for Barton's head and banishment from football but this morning reports say he could only be facing a nine match ban. Like I said, faux outrage.
Whatever happened to sportsmanship and respect for the opposition? We are not that sincere when we say we would like to see it in our sporting events because we allow the thugs to continue to thrive and to hell with any decency. The commentators and journalists who condemn thuggery in one breath but say the player should carry on playing in another are simply pillars of bullshit and ought to be ignored like the idiots they support.


Handbags at dawn

Now im not for one minute saying players shouldn't be passionate about winning and obviously there are going to be times when aggression spills over in the heat of the moment but there must be a limit or else anarchy will reign which will cost the wholesome image of sport very dearly indeed. Do you doubt me? Well more fool you because I already believe that football is a game played only by brainless thugs who wouldn't know respect if it butted them in the face, and im not the only one so yes, by allowing players to get away with causing scenes like the one I witnessed yesterday by Barton it is indeed damaging. Is that really fair on those few who do play fairly and keep their anger in check? I don't want to dump players like David Beckham, who seems like a decent family man into the same Gucci labelled basket as oafs like Joey Barton and Paul 'Gazza' Gascoigne but I can't help it. Football for me is a game played largely by pondlife and uneducated bozos, sorry Becks.
But of course it isn't only football which is guilty of 'yobbery' and I apologise for almost making it seem so. There are men (interestingly not so much women) in every sporting field who have crossed the line from being 'colourful' to downright hooligan. I dont have a problem with colourful sportsmen (think the late Brian Clough), they are much needed and sport would be infinately less without them. What sport doesn't need are people like the ones I mention in the first paragraph of this post and the sooner sporting authorities or officials realise this and ban them for LIFE the better. Believe me, football and boxing would be the richer from ditching violent thugs. Children have enough rotten role models with 'gangsta' rappers and idiot television programmes, without showing them that disgraceful behaviour can pay in sport.

Nevermind the Ifs, Drink the Water

This is going to annoy some religious folk but it needs saying and I care little for any offence caused because in my eyes it is you who are being offensive. On the subject of gay marriage you can all pack your bags and leave on the following train out of civilisation. Go back to worshipping sticks and begetting each others oxen because your opinion is neither wanted or needed and it was wonderful to hear the President of the United States on Wednesday publicly support it (making him the first President in history to do so). Good for you Mr Obama!
I dont understand why religion and God are brought into the gay marriage debate. There is a huge chance that it really is to dust we return after death, and that holy books merely mans fairytales and hope in what becomes of our immortal souls. A hope born of
fear of dying. God may actually not be God.
Why deny yourself a love you know to be 100% true out of fear of the wrath of a God who may or may not exist? And even if this Supreme Being does exist, we cannot truly know His mind. He could be in favour of gay marriage and its just those Christians who are againt it putting words into his mouth for their own ends/beliefs. Its all IFS and BUTS, supposition and arguments. all against a backdrop of certainty (as far as the gay couple is concerned). Knowing that you are content within yourself is all that should matter, do not sacrifice it for the the maybes in this world. That path leads to turmoil, and the wise will be be true to themselves before anything else.
Why is the marriage between two men or women such a big deal anyway? This world is slowly turning to a swab of cotton soaked with blood and tears, and we worry about who is marrying who? A perfect nonsense! Which rather proves why Mankind took so long to evolve and attain enlightenment (which we still haven't fully grasped as this silly debate shows). Three hundred years ago we were putting young women on bonfires because a skin blemish such as a mole on her neck marked her out as a witch. We dont do that anymore. One hundred and fifty years ago we thought it was okay to force children up chimneys in order to clean them. We don't do that anymore. And not so long ago, we thought slavery to be acceptable. We don't anymore.
You can clearly see where im going and whether one is in favour of same sex couples marrying or not, pretty soon it won't matter because they WILL be afforded the same equality and rights that straight couples enjoy. The doubters and those inflicted with narrow minds can shout and stamp their feet, throw their petty arguments and spite around all they want, but they will (and soon) be swept aside by the voice of common reason from their fellow man. (And if they were to further carry on the bitterness, be utterly lost and swallowed by their own hate). Reason being that marriage is marriage is MARRIAGE, and the backward thinkers and pew sitters can be left alone to wallow in their uncivilised cesspits. And to think these fools call gays such names as 'abominations' and 'evil'. Cretins never cease to amaze (and amuse) me, and I only wonder if they don't think the same of disabled people and those with different skin colour. Afterall it wouldn't be such a giant leap to make.
Listen, the real abominations of this world are not those folks who are in same sex relationships. The real evil are not those who Love and care for each other. No, the truly rotten crew are those who seek to poison everything with pious rantings and those who would wish eternal damnation on others purely because they choose to live a different way. A pox on them all! they are so blinded by hatred they cannot recognise the poppycock they spout but the hour will come when they wake up from their mental slumber. I can only hope that they do it before the bitterness entirely consumes them because a soul fed hatred will be a soul in torment come the encore after the final curtain falls on their life.
Live, Love and be not tempted to judge others. Care not what the gods and idols think (or what you think they think) , and never be so sure that you know all truths from holy books. This life is vast and forever turning forward, moving onto newer pastures where we ought to remeber lessons learned from earlier mistakes in order to make today and tomorrow better than yesterday. .