Joe Moral the Rat

"I'm going queer in the morning, ding dong the boys are gonna smile.


Apologies to Alan Jay Lerner for my taking liberties with his lyrics (huge fan of My Fair Lady by the way) but strange as it sounds, these were the lines which popped into my head earlier while perusing the tabloid headlines announcing the first wave of gay weddings.
Yes indeedy do! Today is the day! And before this blog goes up in a holy fireball, allow Mr Jakes to spell it out: gay couples in England and Wales can now legally get married. Indeed eager to celebrate this, one of the first homosexual marriages took place at midnight in Brighton and I wish them much happiness. Now for the most part, straight folk are not too bothered and woke up this morning like they do every Saturday; thinking about this afternoons shopping or football before getting themselves airbrushed for a night on the WDK (or whatever 'chic' sugary water is the current tipple for trendy weekend warriors). Its no big deal and my guess is, they (like me) will wish gay couples all the best before getting on with life (there's a Premiership to be won afterall).
It is 2014. Equality is king, and while there are a good many who oppose gay marriage, someone ought to tell them the 'fight' is over and little is to be gained by voicing their opinions (which might sound ironic coming from a blogger Laughs Out Loud). Remember, it is not so long ago that women were fighting for equal rights, and people were sold in chains. Wake up! Those dark days are behind us now, belonging to a time best left in chains of its own, to fester in its ignorance.
Of course taking this post 'solo', readers might come to the conclusion that Dai Jakes is a raving liberal, yet in the past ive been called such gems as "the bastard son of Peter Hitchens and Rush Limbaugh" (now that would be an interesting date *guffaws*) so I am hardly of liberal stock. I just cannot see, or be bothered with, the hate. Its not interfering with my life, and its not like gay marriage is compulsory, so live and let live. When all is said and done, gay marriage doesn't hinder a heterosexuals life but could improve the happiness of a loving gay couple so hush and let them be happily married.
I for one can't abide intolerance. And neither am I fond of irrational outbursts. Examples? Go online to one of the newspaper sites carrying this story (so pretty much every British one) and in the Comments section underneath we can read outraged loons spout things like, "its against God! We will burn in hell!" Or, "disgraceful! Our morals are dead!"
Forgetting that, last time I checked, 74% Brits do not bother going to church so weird how suddenly God makes an appearance. As for our newly discovered moral guardians? Yeah sure, they convince me...until obeying this recently acquired morality iconveniences them in some way.
Listen, the esteemed Mr Jakes isn't perfect and doesn't have the answers to everything but I do know a couple of things: gay marriage is not a plague upon our land, and humanity won't implode in a ball of goodly fire if we allow it. So my advice to naysayers would be ~ lead your own life, cause no bother to others and if you can't be nice toward others, be silent. To the new surge of bible thumpers? Well, hope to see you guys down at the pews tomorrow. It is a Sunday remember!

Toodle pip for now!

Thug Idol

Are we really all that bothered by acts of violence in sports? Boxers David Haye and Derek Chisora ended up brawling at press conference and after the initial faux outrage in the headlines from newspapers and calls for lifetime bans, everything calmed down to the extent that this pair are now due to meet in a big figh night at Upton Park which will earn each of them nice paydays. And yesterday footballer Joey Barton saw red (again) and even after being handed a red card went on to try and headbutt and kick other players. Yet again there was the initial calls for Barton's head and banishment from football but this morning reports say he could only be facing a nine match ban. Like I said, faux outrage.
Whatever happened to sportsmanship and respect for the opposition? We are not that sincere when we say we would like to see it in our sporting events because we allow the thugs to continue to thrive and to hell with any decency. The commentators and journalists who condemn thuggery in one breath but say the player should carry on playing in another are simply pillars of bullshit and ought to be ignored like the idiots they support.


Handbags at dawn

Now im not for one minute saying players shouldn't be passionate about winning and obviously there are going to be times when aggression spills over in the heat of the moment but there must be a limit or else anarchy will reign which will cost the wholesome image of sport very dearly indeed. Do you doubt me? Well more fool you because I already believe that football is a game played only by brainless thugs who wouldn't know respect if it butted them in the face, and im not the only one so yes, by allowing players to get away with causing scenes like the one I witnessed yesterday by Barton it is indeed damaging. Is that really fair on those few who do play fairly and keep their anger in check? I don't want to dump players like David Beckham, who seems like a decent family man into the same Gucci labelled basket as oafs like Joey Barton and Paul 'Gazza' Gascoigne but I can't help it. Football for me is a game played largely by pondlife and uneducated bozos, sorry Becks.
But of course it isn't only football which is guilty of 'yobbery' and I apologise for almost making it seem so. There are men (interestingly not so much women) in every sporting field who have crossed the line from being 'colourful' to downright hooligan. I dont have a problem with colourful sportsmen (think the late Brian Clough), they are much needed and sport would be infinately less without them. What sport doesn't need are people like the ones I mention in the first paragraph of this post and the sooner sporting authorities or officials realise this and ban them for LIFE the better. Believe me, football and boxing would be the richer from ditching violent thugs. Children have enough rotten role models with 'gangsta' rappers and idiot television programmes, without showing them that disgraceful behaviour can pay in sport.