Joe Moral the Rat

"I'm going queer in the morning, ding dong the boys are gonna smile.


Apologies to Alan Jay Lerner for my taking liberties with his lyrics (huge fan of My Fair Lady by the way) but strange as it sounds, these were the lines which popped into my head earlier while perusing the tabloid headlines announcing the first wave of gay weddings.
Yes indeedy do! Today is the day! And before this blog goes up in a holy fireball, allow Mr Jakes to spell it out: gay couples in England and Wales can now legally get married. Indeed eager to celebrate this, one of the first homosexual marriages took place at midnight in Brighton and I wish them much happiness. Now for the most part, straight folk are not too bothered and woke up this morning like they do every Saturday; thinking about this afternoons shopping or football before getting themselves airbrushed for a night on the WDK (or whatever 'chic' sugary water is the current tipple for trendy weekend warriors). Its no big deal and my guess is, they (like me) will wish gay couples all the best before getting on with life (there's a Premiership to be won afterall).
It is 2014. Equality is king, and while there are a good many who oppose gay marriage, someone ought to tell them the 'fight' is over and little is to be gained by voicing their opinions (which might sound ironic coming from a blogger Laughs Out Loud). Remember, it is not so long ago that women were fighting for equal rights, and people were sold in chains. Wake up! Those dark days are behind us now, belonging to a time best left in chains of its own, to fester in its ignorance.
Of course taking this post 'solo', readers might come to the conclusion that Dai Jakes is a raving liberal, yet in the past ive been called such gems as "the bastard son of Peter Hitchens and Rush Limbaugh" (now that would be an interesting date *guffaws*) so I am hardly of liberal stock. I just cannot see, or be bothered with, the hate. Its not interfering with my life, and its not like gay marriage is compulsory, so live and let live. When all is said and done, gay marriage doesn't hinder a heterosexuals life but could improve the happiness of a loving gay couple so hush and let them be happily married.
I for one can't abide intolerance. And neither am I fond of irrational outbursts. Examples? Go online to one of the newspaper sites carrying this story (so pretty much every British one) and in the Comments section underneath we can read outraged loons spout things like, "its against God! We will burn in hell!" Or, "disgraceful! Our morals are dead!"
Forgetting that, last time I checked, 74% Brits do not bother going to church so weird how suddenly God makes an appearance. As for our newly discovered moral guardians? Yeah sure, they convince me...until obeying this recently acquired morality iconveniences them in some way.
Listen, the esteemed Mr Jakes isn't perfect and doesn't have the answers to everything but I do know a couple of things: gay marriage is not a plague upon our land, and humanity won't implode in a ball of goodly fire if we allow it. So my advice to naysayers would be ~ lead your own life, cause no bother to others and if you can't be nice toward others, be silent. To the new surge of bible thumpers? Well, hope to see you guys down at the pews tomorrow. It is a Sunday remember!

Toodle pip for now!

In Care of a Mortal Thread

Hedd, Perfaith Hedd

This could be an extension to an earlier post about the frailness of life, and however much a heavy heart that is behind the force that wills me to write it, write I must.
Such dreadful news last week when we heard of the mini bus crash on the M62 near Pontefract which killed one girl and seriously injured a dozen others (indeed the bride to be may never walk again.) On their merry way to celebrate a hen party, about as far from the thoughts of death as you could ever hope to be, and in an instant their world is cruelly shattered forever. A sobering jerk back into dreadful reality.
What a foul blow! How mercilessly each and every one of us are shadowed by death; a fragile thread which anchors us to life but at any second could end with less force than a sparrows heartbeat. One breeze less than the flicker of a flame. Such gentle turbulence that carries mortals onward through collared mists, on roads, on seas and valleys of wild woods.
This should serve as a reminder that however bad life may seem, the clockwork of the heart must continue or else be doomed to an even earlier grave, where the cancer of misery cuts down human roots without pity or care. Death is not a solves solver of problems, it simply hides them better while sadness cuts to the quick.
Think on these tragic incidents when the smile fades.

RIP Bethany Jones, may the softest lullabies sing you to your rest.

A Good Promise

Death lurks in the shadows. It plots and plans, then pounces to maim and kill. To destroy and take away any scrap of happiness you may have. To ruin thy life, that is deaths aim in this world (but not the next.) It wants to take away your fun and replace it with black holes of mourning. Death has no heart as it showed yet again last night when news of the dreadful bombing of the Boston marathon was announced to the world. And the very spirit of death walked tall, blooming in its macabre cloak, prowling amidst a horrified and bloodied crowd of thousands.
But do you know what stood taller? What shined brighter than a million diamonds adrift at the foot of the ocean? It was human. Those brave folks, who after the explosions had spread their miserable carnage, went out and tended to the dying and grievously wounded without care for their own skin. Those bent figures were not bowing at all! Evil must never forget this. All of those figures were shards of good, the un~killable good, who after receiving a body blow will shrug it off and gather its pieces (the mortal flesh) to heal and live again.

Good will always triumph over evil for you cannot break the human spirit.

Hitting The Big Four O

In 22 days God willing I will turn 40. I will be forty years old. Am I daunted by this? Am I running around like a headless chicken (headless chickens are cool), trying to somehow find a way to stop the relentless march of time? Well in a word, no. On the contrary I am looking forward to it like I would a triple cheese pizza delivered by Emily Deschanel wearing nothing but high heels.
My thirties were blighted by the deaths of close family members, and spells of addiction and desperate lows. In my early thirties I feared at times that I would lose myself and never find my way back. They were horrid, filled with nasty dramas and the further I get from them in years, the happier I feel.
The only bright periods were meeting She Who Must Be Obeyed and the arrival of my daughter at the end of last year. Oh and the times Ive spent in Ireland! The rest of the time from 29 to 40 can go to hell.


Emily ten minutes before the pizza turned up

Thirty for me was being inbetween the bell and the rainbow, or like being a novice cobweb. In other words I still felt (or feel) the giddy learner, groping at Life's seams. From 30 to 39 is plywood. At 20 I had acceleration, from 40 I'll have it with purpose. Bring it on with all its four decades of anticipated glory!
Most people are afraid of getting older but the fear really is an anathema to me. One must suffer a great deal with insecurity if they look at birthdays beyond 40 with dread. These days age is not like it was a hundred years ago due to the advances in medicine and different lifestyles in general.
And face it, 40 is hardly old age. If I were to flake out right now at this keyboard, it would be a young age I would have died at, regardless of how close I am to being 40. Also what about those poor souls who were unfortunate to not live long in this life? The children and teenagers. I find it insulting in the extreme when folk bemoan the fact they are getting older, when others didn't ever get the chance.
No, like I say, im looking forward to it and many drinks will be downed in celebration not sadness on August 23rd.

Diamond Spirit

The bath is where I usually come up with some of my finest poems and ideas for other scribblings. As I wash off old dirt, the bones of finished works, fresh things come to me, seemingly attracted to my newly scrubbed body. (To a writer it can never be simply a bath *grin*)
And here is another one. There are too many selfish souls in this world, and too many wicked ones as well, so together with Lady Luck I am going to make the place a happier one for those near me. "How?" I hear you ask. Simple. If (and I realise its a BIG if) I were to ever win the lottery, and depending on the amount of course, them im going to spread the wealth with some Facebook friends by paying off their mortgages or something.


Not always the route of all evil

Now obviously with over a 100 friends (how did I get that many?) the lottery isn't big enough to do it for everyone but id figure it out. Perhaps hold a Facebook lottery of my own?
Why would I do this? Well because I happen to enjoy making people happy, simple as that. I have always preferred giving over receiving. It gives me a buzz. That and the fact that im a poet before all else and we are simple creatures where pleasures are concerned. (But very complicated in other matters, just ask my better half.)
If ever I won say £20m then keeping it all to myself would not make me happy, and a lot of my closest family are in better pastures, so this is the only logical thing to do. And I would hold a giant Facebook party because that way I could include everyone.
So there you have it. This article can be my bond. Im quite lucky too as a rule so you never know. My life has been pretty eventful so far.