Dangers and Jackpots

One day I am going to win big on the lottery. Its not a case of 'might' or 'if', I will. How can I be so sure? Easy, luck is on my side in this life and I have been blessed with it when I needed it the most. Indeed I wouldn't even be writing this now if luck wasn't on my shoulder, I would be dead. An dead many times over. Lets take a look at some of th near fatal e mishaps thats cropped up during my relatively short time on the planet:

1. Fell head first into a narrow and deep well in my great aunts garden. Fortunately my brother pulled me out or I would surely have drowned.
2. Fell from a tree, onto a garage roof, rolled from the roof onto a wall then bounced off the wall to the ground. Not even a scratch.
3. Placed metal objects in electrical mains.
4. Fell 40ft down the side of a mountain onto a main road.
5. Numerous alchol overdoses. At one stage I amazed the doctors by not having vitamins in my body. Alcohol had depleted them.
6. Rodea motorbike off a ramp and landed on a railway track. (Where the Millenium Coastal park is now, just outside Burry Port).
7. Climbing a 100ft quarry face with no rope or any safety equipment.
8. Skateboarding and ending up in front of an oncoming truck. Pretty hairy that was!
9. Running out onto the road and hitting a car. No injuries.
10. Almost getting swept out to sea.


Me on my homemade half pipe ramp

Those are just the top ten 'classics' but its safe to assume that since I have never broken a bone or recieved stitches for wounds from knives (I used to play regularly with throwing daggers and shurikens in my youth) that some kind of good luck rides with me on this earthly journey. And this is why my six numbers will come up for me one day. Indeed they have once but that was on the Thunderball and I dont play that. Shame as I would have won £250,000 but shit happens. I can wait.
And no, im not telling you the numbers.

God Wants Us Gone

Had to go out and buy what must be our seventh computer yesterday. We only bought the one before that a couple of weeks before Christmas!? And my Blackberry is slowly packing up. I might go looking at old blog articles to see if ive offended God in some way because im certain He wants to see Dai Jakes offline for good. Is He a big dog lover? Does He love vegetarians? What reason could there be in trying to sabotage every darned computer we get? Mr Jakes demands an answer!
If this carries on we'll have to be as rich as Croesus to keep up.
Or maybe there is a restless spirit about? A lost soul who sees computers as a modern pox on society and has taken it upon itself to rid the world of computers one at a time starting with Mr Jakes.
Whatever, this is the last one. This one dies and the blogging will continue off line like when we started in 1980.

Hitchhiker's Blues (Open Letter to God)

Bingo!

This is just a quick open letter to God.

Dear Big Guy,

When I travel through your beautiful countryside, I gladly give thanks to you for Mother Nature and all of her wonderful sights. You truly are an inspiration and if ever I get to become a God of something (God of Drunkeness perhaps?) then I want to be just like You. But with more tattoos. It must be a thankless job, what with a lot of the planet ignoring You and using 'text speak' to communicate their horrible thoughts to each other but I DO thank You. I know You are up there somewhere, pottering around and taking holy shots with Coleridge. In short, You sir, rule! (Literally).
However I do have one grumble. When I am out driving with lush, rolling hills to my left and golden rivers on my right, can You not ruin the scenery by tossing in a hitchhiker that looks like a cross between Rasputin the mad monk and Richard Ramirez? If we must have beggars needing to casge a lift, can you make them like the lady in the photo above please? Pretty please?

Diolch (thanks)

Your humble, perverted servant

Steven x