Francis' Folly for Harder Candy

Valium?

I would be lying if I said I ordered these Valium to write a piece of investigative journalism. It would be utter bull droppings. No, I sought them out over the interwebz and bought them because I like Valium. I like most pills of this kind. I make no excuses over it, and use them as I do alcohol.
Over the past few decades I have been prescribed quite a few benzodiazepines for various reasons and I got to enjoy them. Lots.
So what is one of the first things I did when I got hooked up to the interwebz? Look for porn sure, but the next thing I went surfing for was Valium. Im blissfully incorrigible and looked at the internet as my personal debauched playground, filled with XXX Candy and other things you wouldn't want your dear old Mum finding out.
Two countries that stood out in their sales of 'downers' (benzos) were China and Mexico, and as the latter were cheaper, I opted to go Mexicana, chico. (Who's Chico?) I knew there was danger of fraud before I popped my credit card details in but alas $40 for 100 tablets was to great a temptation for the Pill Monster inside and so I ordered away, already excited by the Vailum buzzing that awaited.
They took around 5 weeks to finally arrive (I admit I was getting jumpy after the third week, believing I had been conned) and when they did I was slighty under awed by the rubbish packaging which you can see for yourselves in the photos. I was expecting something a little more 'medical' looking and less amateurish. Still it was the high I was after and as soon as I opened them I swallowed 5. Nothing. 5 more. Still nada so I opened a beer to bring on the buzz. To cut a long story short I kept drinking and popping but depressingly I only felt the alcohol buzz. (Didn't stop me taking the entire 100 packet in 3 days mind).


Or laxatives?

After that bitter disappointment any right thinking individual would have put the experience down to having tried but bad luck and scrapped the idea of getting Valium online, but thinking rightly has never been my way (sometimes for both good and bad) so I found another pharmacist in Mexico and ordered another 100.
Now here is where I would liked to have written second time lucky but this batch of 'diazepam' were exactly the same duds as the previous pills. And yet I still took the whole packet, just as before! Like I said, incorrigible.
To add insult to injury, this 'chemist' also tried to take more money off my card after the charge for the crappy tablets so there was the hindrance of getting hold of the bank (have you tried that in this day and age?) and changing all of my details. A good thing however as I started to learn my lesson by then.
Looking back (this all happened in 2007) I can't believe how wreckless I was in handing over my credit card so easily, and taking 200 unknown pills. (Although having been a regular pill popper over the years I regard this as an occupational hazard.)
So my advice to anyone else thinking of getting their buzz on via this route would be forget it. Yes there might be legit pharmacists online who have the real deal medicines but there are too many cowboys and pirates who have also set their stalls out to be able to safely take the risk.

Warning: Can Cause Frustration

Mouth abscesses are miserable and painful things, and one of them decided to haunt my mouth earlier this week, so off I went to the supermarket to get a packet of Co~codamol tablets which contain 8mg of the lovely codeiene and 500mg of the rather boring paracetamol. Needs must and a few aspirin just wasn't going to give me the relief from pain that I so desperately craved.
Mission accomplished I headed home and it was there that I noticed something I have never noticed before. (Or I have but don't remember it.) On the box was stamped ~ Can cause addiction and For three days use only. See photo below.


Watch out! Nanny's been about!

When on earth did this start happening? And is it really necessary? Okay some people are idiots and need to have things spelt out for them, I understand that but for a fairly intelligent and sensible (mostly) man like myself, reading this made me feel a kind of despair. Like we are all bozos who need to be guided through Life by governments and watchdogs like chimps or circus seals.
I find it quite insulting that we cannot be trusted. Granted there are certain sections of society who prove not everyone is blessed with wisdom but its offensive to suggest that everyone is an imbecile, hellbent on killing himself through ignorance.
And why aren't these warnings on other, stronger drugs? In my time I have been prescribed some pretty addictive substances such as benzodiazepines (valium, mogadon, temazepam, etc) but there are no warnings on them. Why? Seems to me these so called 'health watchdogs,' or whoever puts this soppy advice on tablet boxes are only there to cause frustration and resentment. If you need these things to help you then God save us all!
Also while im on this topic, why can I buy only two packets of paracetamol in most chemists and shops? Thats not going to prevent suicides if thats the aim. I'll just go to a bunch of shops and stockpile the darned things. Easily done too, especially when these 'pound' shops are seemingly exempt from this rule and are able to sell three or four packets for £1.
Ironic isn't it? I bought these pills to escape from pain and the damned wrapping they come in has given me the biggest headache going.