Project Kate

In all her glory

"Lifeless," "disappointing," "ordinary," "dull" and "old" are some of the words being hurled at the first official portrait of the Duchess of Cambridge, by artist Paul Emsley. I must admit ive only had a few fleeting glances at the painting and am no art critic but as the old saying goes, I know what I like and I like this painting. Why all the fuss? In my humble opinion Kate Middleton is an average looking young woman who I think Emsley has captured perfectly. Due to Kate's penchant for dressing 'soberly' she looks more like 41 than 31 and 'ordinary' is exactly the word I would use to describe her. (And I no I am not suggesting she dress like Jodie Marsh.)
The British public become far too precious and picky when it comes to the Royal family, especially the younger female ones (remember saint Diana?) almost to the point that speaking of them in anything other than praise is heresy. Its a bit of a nonsense really.
Mr Jakes raises a glass to the artist for capturing the Duchess in all her glory, however plain that glory is. And if next you hear that im in the Tower of London you'll know why.

The Royal 'Pair'

Ooh La La le Katie

A French magazine has published photographs of the Duchess of Cambridge topless and of course Buckingham Palace are most upset over it. The pics were taken on private land so I can understand their anger, (or "sadness" as media have reported them as being.)
However private or not (hasn't the Duchess heard of telescopic lenses?), you can just imagine the tabloids in Britain chomping at the bit to be first to release the images. They say they have scruples but they dont, not really. Editors are most likely foaming at the mouth as I type, and not out of anger.
Indeed a popular blog in the UK is trying to beat the red tops to it and is already asking its followers whether they should publish the pics.
Allow Mr Jakes to run wild here a second. I believe they should publish them. A topless image of the future Queen would very '21st century' (on a £50 note perhaps?) and give the Royals an even bigger boost making them more popular than they've ever been, especially amongst men. Are we really so offended by breasts? We've had Page 3 for years and managed not to implode from deviancy so far.
Of course I realise im stepping into the realm of sexist, lad's mag reading pig but its not as if Closer magazine have published a Paris Hilton type sex tape is it? Its just a Royal pair, poker has it, why cant we?
And as a mark of the age we live in, these photographs will help the couple get more popular than ever. Look at brother in law Harry, his popularity has gone through the roof since his naked pics in Las Vegas were released. Its a faux outrage among our red tops in any case because a British paper will more than likely publish them in the next few days because "they can be seen elsewhere anyway so whats the harm?"
Of course its not nice when your privacy is intruded upon (and lets be clear, the couple were on private land) but surely with all that happened to Williams mother in the past, he has learned to take more care? Its nice to let it all hang out but when one is married to the future king of England, it pays to be certain there are no pesky lenses around.