Fishing for Holllywood

Stranger things happen of course, afterall we inhabit a planet filled with miracles and disaster, so it wouldn't surprise me to learn that some sharp suited movie Joe with a fondness for the marching powder buzzed by this old blog of mine from time to time. Hell if nothing else, the hunger of their egos would make this a nailed on certainty. More nailed than a whale God with rare jewels for eyeballs, and bones crafted the calcified souls of super architects but let us get back to earth. Im straying too far from this post.
Can I just say, nay plead with the remains of a quickly greying youth to not be tricked into believing that a reboot/remake of American Ninja, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, They Live and Commando would be good idea. They won't, and you can take that to your overstuffed Century City banks (which if not careful will be remembered for the dosh they made rather than its art). Which would be a shame because while financial reward is itself very nice nothing will dim the glow of producing great work, be it movies, books or music.
Remakes might sound like goof idea, we all remember the glory glory years of the 1980s where it seemed most films were touched by gold but while we know a remake of something like Jaws would be awesome if we were able to capture that creative spark of 1975, we know (with a good del of sadness) that we never will. The most world's most famous shark is born, and attempting a reboot of such an iconic movie would be like mining for gold in a sugar field. Impossible.
Come on, we've seen enough remakes by now to realise that making them is disaster waiting to happen. Move on Hollywood, studios will be making remakes of remakes next (something that would surprise me not in the slightest). Mark my words: movie remakes only serve to dilute the magic of the original.

Here are some personal favourites of mine that ought be left well alone:

American Ninja
They Live
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
Cobra
Point Break
Commando

Mess with these 80s cult classics at thy peril! In fact, better yet, don't mess with them at all. Ever. Lest the ghost of the late Steve James Cpl. Curis Jackson return to karate the movie directors.

The Facebook Caper

Web advice: Never tell Facebook anything you don’t want the whole Web (and world) to know about you.

Yup sage advice indeed and pretty obvious too. Besides from my work and other serious things like private messages, the other more outlandish stuff I post on Facebook should be taken with a mighty pinch of salt. Especially after 6pm on a drinking night. That is when my naughty twin comes out to play *wink* I think most people know when im stepping into the world of fantasy but just to be clear: my poetry, views, philosphies (and sadly the alcohol) bits are all very much my real world. Nothing but honesty there. The panda eating and prison stories are most certainly not. I would eat dog but not panda, and I dont have a criminal record of any kind.
Why do it? Well simply because I love the absurd. It entertains me on the grainy alcohol evenings when my mind is awash with wild stories. I don't see it as 'trolling' at all, its more a new form of entertainment and it works too because one friend has told me I was "better than te;evision". I just dont see the point in telling the world what books im reading, or songs im listening too. Id rather create a kind of Batman & Robin episode where adventure and escapism is the order of the day. It keeps my Facebook wall very interesting and no harm is ever meant. (I would never dream of calling someone out personally anyway, I wasn't brought up that way.)
I do have some wild stories which are true. For instance I have climbed a 100ft quarry face with no equipment, explored underground mines and I have come very close to death due to alcohol and other vices but by and large I am a quiet man just getting through this life with as little fuss as possible. Ciao for now X

Dear Rest of the World

More Bony Bum than Boney M

MTV have a new reality television show (haven't we got enough of these by now?) called 'The Valleys', and it is supposed to show real life here in Wales. Being a proud Welshman I felt it my duty to defend my beautiful country. Please world, don't be fooled! This show might be an accurate depiction of a friday and saturday night in the cities (and thats any UK city not just Wales) where trampy, self indulgent women and vain men wallow in fake tan and kebab grease, but its certainly not a true reflection on the rest of this country. And to think that even if a single person outside Wales believes The Valleys is typical of all Welshmen and women is extremely depressing.
Real reality check ~ most decent Welshies are embarrassed over this show and are weeping into our cawls that we are being portrayed as crass, lewd thickos who do nothing but dream of fame and fortune all day. One of the shows bimbos even admits that her boyfriend keeps her, while she searches for her slice of the celebrity pie. Another said, “it’s not for old people, for nannas and stuff. If you’ve got a bum like me, let me tell you it’s banging, so get it out.” Dear me, put the bony looking thing away love and where is the OFF button?
This NOT Wales. This is not real Wales. This a snapshot of the deluded minds of teenagers throughout Britain (and probably the rest of the world.) Watch it by all means, but watch it as it should be watched, like a piece of silly entertainment and not as a real glimpse of Welsh life. Think of it more The Hills Have Eyes than The Valleys.

Overkill Killing the Times

When Dai Jakes was 15, things were a lot different. There was no interwebz for one, and things like Twitter and Blackberry did what they said on the tin; birds tweeted and blackberries were made into pie and eaten with cream. If you were a fan of anything, you usually had to wait a while to learn whatever it was you were a fan of was doing. For instance Mr Jakes was into heavy metal but had to wait for Metal Hammer or Kerrang! to come out before hearing what Iron Maiden were up to that week.
And you want to know something? I kind of miss it. I could take it in better because it was bite sized. These days I can find out what all the singers and guitarists are doing every five minutes and truth be told its overwhelming. Quite boring too in one way as the BREAKING NEWS plods on in endless Tweets and Facebook feeds. Relentless like a mad typewriter overdosing on words. The excitement has gone, fled no doubt in fear of being drowned by the constant updates.
Now all this is fine if you happen to be a teenager with the enthusiasm those years bring, but to those of us reaching into the scrensavers of our forties, its not so much fun. Of course we can turn off everything and go back to buying weekly magazines but this is the future, the interwebz is here to stay so we might as well get used to information overload. Perhaps this is the trigger that will send mankind all crazy come the much speculated end of the world?
Too much information. It can be very liberating and empowering but there is a danger that it can also lead to stripping of all that was previously mysterious, leaving a bland landscape, devoid of adventure.
Too much information. Approach with care.

**And just to be clear, Dai Jakes loves the web. Being a blog, it is it lifesblood and readers can also find us elsewhere online.