White Dee: Assassin of DWP

We have a programme here in Britain called "Benefits Street", a cheap and tawdry show (though ive never watched it myself) about the every day lives of lazy good for nothings sucking the country dry by claiming benefits while drinking, thieving and generally dossing around being nothing. There are genuine claimants but these are not them. All they seem to do is hang around a street doing zilch (besides boozing and smoking). Like ive said, I don't watch it but ive read enough in the media to get a general idea of what these people are about: scrounging.
And now would you believe, we seem to have made a celebrity out of one of the morons in it, someone who goes by the name of 'White Dee'. Dear God it sounds like a monicker for an assassin! "Beware the White Dee! Shadowy hitman of the department of work and pensions!"
The odious looking woman is everywhere: radio, papers, television, magazines. Have we gone stark raving mad? Turning a bone idle slob into a celebrity, it boggles the mind it truly does. I realise this world has become obsessed with celebrity but to make one out of some benefit scrounger is lunacy of the highest order. And nothing short of obscene. Is this the way we are heading? Just pluck any old toe rag off the street and make them a star, depressing to think we have sunk this far.
The honest work hunters and genuine disabled ought to be very angry with this oaf, she is exactly the type of person that is giving all the ammunition for welfare cuts because as far as the government is concerned every person on benefits are like her so make no mistake, all of you claimants will suffer.
Nobody, and I mean nobody, should be applauding the awful White Dee. She is a pox on us all.

Have a good day all!

Carpet Walkers

Hi, im Sissy Screengrabber

 

Why do people insist on waiting outside arenas and such, just to watch celebrities walk on some silly red carpet and attend award shows like the recent GQ Awards? It seems so....pathetic to me, and not at all how supposed civilised, sentinet beings should behave. Go to any newspaper website with a GQ Award story (or watch live coverage of a film premier) and there you will see pictures of them, grinning mobs waving mobile phones around and screeching some famous persons name like they were the Messiah. I suspect if ever I met one of these nitwits in a pub, I would get a better conversation with Mr Screengrabber up there. He looks less sinister too.
In this celebrity obssessed age, I really should accept that this has become the 'norm' for such sad behaviour but I don't want to damn it! I refuse to believe (as much as I am able) that a race of beings who included Leonardo Da Vinci and William Shakespeare in their number, could be so excited and even smitten by the mere sight of somebody who happens to be in the public eye. "Yippee! Angelina Jolie just walked past!" Come on now people, this is not a big deal. Or even a small deal. Surely you have a better life (and mind) than this? Please say you do!
And as for the GQ Awards, Nancy Dell'Olio at 51 years of age made the rest of the women (half her age) look quite plain and 'plastic baggy'.   

Under the Surgeon's Dice

Is that you Sharon?

After seeing yet more photographs of the rich and shameless and their plastic surgery (which really ought to be rebranded as 'grotesque surgery') in todays morning papers, I can only come to the same conclusion that I always did: attempting to defy the ageing process will turn you into something resembling a cross between a Garbage Pail Kid and a Boglin (Google them if you were born after 1990.)
Are these blockheads so blinded by (a frail) vanity that they cannot see the bubbling mess in the mirror staring back at them? Can anyone be so deluded? Why of course they can, but such is the fear of losing that touch of glamour, these wealthy oiks wont ever see past the illusion of the stunning 25 year old staring back in their reflection. Key word being ILLUSION. That older, more decrepid hag, peering over the 25 year olds slender shoulders, is brushed away and foolishly ignored.
The folly of the ever greying famous is that they truly believe money is able to halt time and while they wait for the code of the grand design of immortality to be cracked, they plaster over the wrinkles with botox bulldozners and pad out their pensioners skin with crooked sounding 'stay young' procedures. I won't name and shame the worst offenders because evidently they have no shame but im hopeful one or two will stumble across the Dai Jake's Book sometime and realise the sobering truth: most folks are not dazzled by your staggering beauty or fooled by con tricks to evade old age.
No, the majority only want to look at you with morbid curiosity. Like the times we used to watch public executions and circus freaks. Sad really, but then you'll never understand that. Botox made you deaf. Enjoy your new life as a gargoyle. Toodle pip!

I Sat Next To God Today

Some of the media were in full celebrity tongue shaft again yesterday becaue some singer, (her name has honestly slipped my tapping fingers) took the underground tube to her concert in London. One radio station even deemed it important enough to have an hours phone in about it. Yep, you read that right. Here we are on the ten year anniversary of having stormed into Afghanistan and all some channels want to talk about is some airheaded singer who decided to use public transport to her gig. Whoop di doo da! Hold the front page! Whip my bum with Ok! magazine!


This blog article is dedicated to her

To make it more interesting (im not sure 'interesting' is the correct word here), the station just happened to find a fan who was also on her way to the show, and *takes deep breath* sat right next to her idol! Quick! Pass the smelling salts before I implode all down my trousers!
Is this really newsworthy? Really really with a lemon on top? I know the world (or most of it) is currently obssessed with fame and worship celebrity like it was the Second Coming but even so, to dedicate a whole hour yakking about the fact that some singer (still can't recall the name) took the train to her gig is quite....well it just makes me want to bang my head repeatedly against a wall in frustration.
Thirty years ago this 'story' would have struggled to get more than a paragraphs attention in the papers, let alone get itself prodded for an hour on the radio. Our fault of course, we hang on every word celebrities say as if they have been passed on to them by God and scripted by Moses. (Obvioulsy I don't include myself when I say 'we', because I look at those 'afflicted' with fame in much the same way I look at some hapless sod struck down by ebola or dengue fever).
Oh well, I suppose if its what makes the masses happy, I shall just have to accept it and build the walls of my castle that much thicker to be able to ignore it better. I shall pray to the Holy Pike of Cenarth Falls for all of your televsion addled, earthly souls. The Pike doth bless you all!