Atari Co Founder Dies

History. So few of us ever get to truly make history, to stamp your foot on the world and its generations, and leave it with something that will keep your name alive forever. Atari Co founder Ted Dabney did just that, and as a longtime player of videogames, I was saddened to hear of his death over the weekend. I only hope he knew how happy he made kids like myself.
You don't have to have played videogames to recognise Atari and its famous logo. Its a genuine icon from the 1980s. And while not everyone is a games fan, I would wager everyone has played Pong. Come now, you know you have.
Ted Dabney helped lay the foundations for one of the greatest, most varied artistic mediums on the planet. A real legend among pretenders and the memories of kids like me, keep our inner child alive as we run from the humble Pong to the current generation of videogames.


Ted Dabney, a pioneer, visionary.

Rest In Peace sir,
you made millions happy xXx

Cinderella's Shady Trail

As a gamer now for over three decades...hold on, let me say that again, gamer for over three decades gulp! *reaches for the Botox* It is fair to say that I have played more than my fair share of videogames. Ever since rescuing Xenon princess Roz in Zorgon's Revenge on the Oric 1 inbetween my half hearted attempts at homework, I was addicted (and despite what Daily Mail scribes would have you believe, videogames have never done me any harm).
During that time, I must have spent a gazillion hours shooting zombies, raiding toms and solving bizarre puzzles (cheers Silent Hill). And so its natural that from spending so much time with your pixelated hero/villain, a bond is forged. A bond which makes turning a successful game into an equally successful movie very difficult, and rarely is a director enough of an alchemist to pull it off. Indeed from all the game to film releases, it is only the Resident Evil movies that have held my interest (and even this is because I find them entertaining in their own right and not because they are equal to the cool of the videogames).
So when I heard about The Last of Us movie that is evidently in the works, my little 'ol heart, that heart which has shared many a nervous jump with Joel and Ellie, was not exactly thrilled. And who can blame me? I still shudder when anyone mentions Street Fighter and Kylie Minogue in the same sentence. And less said of Uwe Boll the better.
All the best men know. Even the genius that is Hideo Kojima, who is a major movie fan, will admit deep down to being a tad wary of turning his beloved Metal Gear Solid into a motion picture because he knows like the rest of us know, 9/10 films of games are garbage. Just drop the aforementioned Mr Boll's name into a conversation with Kojima san, you'll get the picture (or not if you happen to be Uwe Boll). Why do you think a MGS movie has not been made yet? Despite being offered multi million deals? Hideo understands man.
Like I said, we gamers forge a special bond with characters over many hours of play, and seeing those "magic moments" reduced to a 2 hour romp ruins it. Take games like Skyrim and Fallout 3 for example. How many hours do we spend in the company of our newly created badass? It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say 200+ hours. You go through many different challenges together, notching up a heroes portion of triumph (and deaths), and all personal to you the gamer. Were someone to come along and turn Skyrim into a fantasy film it would fail, and fail hard because none of your private victories would feature. All those little things you see/hear/feel as you clutch your controller and add up to make a unique overall experience is gone, replaced with a directors vision which so often feels like huge disappointment. No more hero than a bit part player relegated to the side lines, and to be blunt, it f**king SUCKS! Its almost like the movie is invading "our" space. (Similar to books but games go even deeper as they put YOU in the action).
So forgive my failure to get all hard and excited (ooer!) over another game-to-film cash grab, but history shows we videgame fans are always better off sticking with the game. We have too much time invested to see it be reduced a film extra.

Playstation 4

Ubisoft's Watch Dogs

Wednesday 11pm saw gamers huddle around their laptops,iPads,etc to watch the live announcememt of Sony's new console, Playstation 4. And as a fan who has been the Playstation since it first surfaced back in 1995, I expected to be skipping on rainbows of ecstasy like a giddy schoolgirl by the end of it (forgetting the fact im now 41.) I dont care what anyone says, there is a curious thrill about the unveiling of a new videogame console. I was stunned by Wipeout (PS1), KO'd by Resident Evil 2 (PS2) and even swooned over Motorstorm when that hit Playstation 3 in 2007. Im not ashamed by this, its what you get if you give a boy an Oric 1 for Christmas in 1983.
So it is with great sadness that after admitting all of the above, the Playstation 4 announcementleft me slightly cold. Not quite sub zero cold, (more like tee shirt in March cold) but I was certainly not overheating in anticipation of pixelated rapture. I think it was all the talk of "social media" and sharing on Facebook/Twitter that did it. Sorry Sony but I just want to play VIDEOGAMES, im not in the least bit interested in posting scores on Facebook or challenging Twitter followers to online races. I simply want to slip a game into the console and smite weird beasties to kingdom come. Balls to Facebook. Im old fashioned like that. Its nothing new of course, theres already a ton of places on teh interwebz that use social networking sites to share folks interests, and fine some people like that kind of thing but it doesn't boil my kettle im afraid. (Reading comments on forums and underneath news stories about PS4, im not alone either.)
As for the Playstation 4 being able to predict what game you might be interested in and downloading it automatically? I hope we'll be able to disable that nonsense. (Im being dragged into the future kicking and screaming Laughs Out Loud.)
Thankfully things start to look up on the gaming side of things. This is why we're here afterall! Watch Dogs got me most interested (see the trailer above) as did Killzone: Shadow Fall. I didn't notice a huge difference graphically to PS3 (even when a Evolution developer waffled about "even the suede on the car seats has a direction") but as time goes on, game designers will learn how best to squeeze the most OOMPH out of the machine. We didn't get to see any sports titles (or was I asleep?) and I can't wait to see how a NFL or golf game looks on Playstation 4.
Unfortunately we also didn't get to see what the actual console looked like either so fanboys will have to make do with gawking at the new DualShock 4 joypad, complete with touchscreen and LED tracker. Looks a little rubbery but I quite like it. The screen on the pads front reminding me of the Dreamcast's VMU. Speaking of older consoles, as a RetroHead backwards compatabilty is important to me so I was a tad miffed to learn that PS1, 2 and 3 games will be available via Playstation 4’s cloud service. So no using my original copy of Tombi or Yakuza then? Bah! Happy they will be available in some form though.
I realise this started on a downer with the Facebook sharing side of things but I am quite excited about Playstation 4. Its just (obviously) not the mind blowing transition I experienced going from Oric to MegaDrive to Playstation back in those wilderness years.


DualShock 4

Here are some games that we got a glimpse of:

Watch Dogs (Ubisoft)
Killzone: Shadow Fall (Guerrilla)
Diablo III (Blizzard)
DriveClub (Evolution)
Deep Down (Capcom)
Destiny (Bungie)


DriveClub

Sticky Wicked

"Would you like a game with those stickers Sir?"

I don't care what other videogamers say, I like Game. Heck if it wasn't for this store all my games would have to be purchased online because aside from a crappy little Cash Converters, there are no other dedicated videogame shops where I live. There isn't even a HMV type place where I could go. Sure there are Tesco and Morrisons supermarkets but the choice in those places is limited to chart stuff and shovelware. (Plus you get served by an automaton who wouldn't have a clue what Shenmue was if you hit him on the noggin with a copy.) Sure we have charity shops which are great for finding the odd retro classic but more often than not its another bloody FIFA we discover. (Charity stores in cities may be different I wouldn't know, im blessed to not live in one.)
One thing which does grind my gears though are Game's penchant for covering their game cases with pesky stickers. The photo above shows the latest lot I had from just two games after a recent visit to my local store. Now I am not an unreasonable guy and realise this isn't down to the lads and lasses working on the 'front line' as it were, but why so trigger happy with that sticker gun? Of course Game have to make clear the deals they have on offer but I can't help thinking it overkill. Do we really need to have stickers slapped on the disc itself? Not only that but there are also stickers to be found on the instruction manual which to my thinking is rather puzzling. Not to mention extremely annoying, especially if like myself you happen to be a collector who tries to have my videogames in as pristine condition as possible when displayed on the shelves. (Sega Dreamcast jewel cases make this ambition very hard, what with having been made from plastic that seemingly cracks when you look at it but thats another story.) First thing I do when I get home is spend ten minutes carefully removing the darned things, all the while taking great care not to tear the manual or worse still leave a sticky residue on the clear sleeve.
I realise that in the great scheme of Life, this is something of a triviality and that worse things happen at sea, but in the scheme of a near obsessive videogames colletor its very annoying. And like I say, im not having a pop at anyone, its just something I needed to blog off my chest.

My latest sticky affair

Metal Gear Solid the Movie

Snake? Snake? SNAAAAKE !!

Lets kick things off with a quote from Mr Metal Gear Himself:
"Metal Gear Solid was developed specifically to become a game. ...If it were to be made into a movie it would have to be something completely new. I wouldn't use my current scripts. I think I'd have to get somebody to get a new script and somebody else to direct it as a movie."

-Hideo Kojima (March 17, 2012)

Now as a big fan of the Metal Gear Solid games (and after falling out of lve with cinema), I for one would be happy if there was never a movie made of the tactical espionage videogame. "Have you gone mad?" I hear some of you ask. Well no I haven't, at least not madder than usual *chuckles*
To my mind, Metal Gear Solid doesn't need a movie, it does very well standing alone as a game thank you very much. As every game fan knows, turning a popular game into a film is hardly ever a success. From Streetfighter and Kylie Minogue through to the very average (at best) Tomb Raider movie, games very rarely transfer well onto celliuloid. I will concede that the Resident Evil movies are brilliant fun but still, the games rock even more. The difference is huge and to go from 'being' the character in Hitman on Playstation, to then be reduced to mere 'watcher' in the cinema or on dvd can come as a shock, even be frustrating.
Gamers will each have their own different experiences from playing through sections of Metal Gear Solid, we will all have personal victories and defeats but movies are not able to do that. It felt immense to personally battle and eventually beat three Metal Gears in MGS: Sons Of Liberty, but watching some actor do it on a Netflix rent would be quite dull in comparison.
Alas im only another gamer fan and as much as I want the franchise left in this form, time and money will decide if Metal Gear Solid the Movie ever becomes a reality. But if Hideo is smart (and I believe he is), he should be very careful when it comes to making it. I will say this however; as loyal fans of MGS who have bought every game, we certainly deserve more than getting people like the awful Nicholas Cage and Lindsay Lohan involved. Please Kojima san, anything but those two. And this is part of the problem of course, everyone has a different idea on who should play Solid Snake. The character was based on Snake Plissken from John Carpenter's Escape from New York, so logically Kurt Russell would be ideal but Russell is getting on a bit these days and unless Metal Gear Solid the Movie is going to focus on the espionage antics of Pensioner Snake, this rules him out.
Jason Statham sounds about right but when I picture him in my minds eye, dressed in Snake's stealth gear, sneaking through a creaky air vent in an abandoned military site, he doesn't look right. Ditto Colin Farrell. And its not just Solid Snake to be considered, all characters in Metal Gear Solid have been larger than life, the series is famed for it. Liquid Snake, Otagon, Col. Roy Campbell, Meryl. Each of these roles would need filling by actors capable of making those big personalities shine, and I just cannot see a script or studio pulling it off with any success. You can see from The Expendables that having a load of big names on screen at the same time doesn't necessarily mean pure gold. And in Metal Gear Solid its the characters who are the big names and thats not your average big either. Think a brilliantly, colourful, bizarre, mad, over the top kind of big.
To sum up then; making a good Metal Gear Solid movie will need everything clicking into place like a jigsaw dipped in olive oil. This is a much loved franchise and whereas fans might excuse a shoddy Tomb Raider or average Hitman, we wont be so forgiving when it comes to Solid Snake and company. And lets face it, when you look at the jaw dropping trailer below of the new Metal Gear Solid game, well who needs film?


Stunning!

Emotion In Videgames

Videogames are seen by some as being 'for kids' but since games have gotten more mature with their subjects and themes, nothing could be further from the truth. In fact a lot of titles (Kane & Lynch, Heavy Rain etc) no responsible parent should let their children anywhere near. But as an example of just how powerful/emotional some games can be, take a look at the scene below of Sniper Wolf's death in 1998's Metal Gear Solid.




Pretty strong stuff im sure you will agree. The defense rests its case your honour.

Blink (the Sunset Dead)

Yesterday I found myself strolling along one of the coastal roads which run alongside Panau's beautiful beaches, with the sun beating relentlessly on my back as the miles streched out ahead. Every step was weighed down with dread at the thought of covering any significant distance so I decided that some kind of vehicle would be best. As luck would have it (luck or cruel fate?) I spotted a motorbike heading towards me, its rider blisfully oblivious to my needs. The foliage and ferns that line the roads provided me with cover so I hid until the bike was close before suddenly leaping out in front of the startled biker. He came to a halt a few feet away from me and pressed a hand on his horn, no doubt furious at my stopping his journey.
I don't know where this man was headed late in the afternoon; home from work perhaps? Home to see his wife and children. Or maybe he was on his way for a spot of fishing on his Sea Runner boat? The crystal blue waters of Panau are perfect for fishing and sailing, and boats are very popular on the island. Or he could have been simply enjoying a spin on his motorbike, taking in the stunning views as the powerful Hamaya GSY650 motorbike did its thing.
Whatever it was this man was doing, it all came to a very definate STOP when he applied the brakes in order to stop before me. I could have knocked him off his machine of course. I am highly trained in the 'art' of violent force, and one swift blow to his solar plexes would have had the guy writhing on the road in agony, leaving me free to steal the Hamaya and make off into the distance and finally to my destination. I could have this easily but I didn't.
Instead I reached for my revolver (which is custom made to my specific needs), and raised it to the poor mans head. I caught a quick glimpse of something on his face but whether it was suprise or fear, it wasn't there for long because a gentle squeeze on the trigger brought his life to a bloody end. All this man was, all he was ever going to be, was now crumpled in a heap next to his bike. The people of Panau are inevitably poor, and this nameless man before me was now even poorer.


Come peacefully?

Now the gamer readers of this blog will recognise Panau as being the fictitional island from the game Just Cause 2, and this is correct. The above is something I did in the game last night. But why? Why did I shoot this bike loving character? Of course games are not real and there is no consequence outside of the game to any actions you do, be they good or bad but last nights 'murder' of an innocent civilian going about his buisness was an eye opener for me. Its not the first time ive killed someone in cold blood in a game but its the first time I have stopped and actually thought about it.
Had I tapped into a evil sinkhole in my psyche, latent in reality but raging in the gamesworld like Jeffrey Dahmer in a kill frenzy? In life (the real one) I am the gentlest of souls, though you would never think of it to look at me, and I know I am the opposite in videogames but the killings in those are usually kept to the story in whatever game im currently playing. For instance when im shooting people in Grand Theft Auto its down to some mob bosses orders, and the targets are usually criminals themselves. Ive never really enjoyed mowing down pedestrians (like you can do), which just makes my actions last night in Just Cause 2 all the more baffling. Of course I keep reminding myself, people in videogames are not people at all, just a bunch of sprites assembled to look like people and there is no harm done when we decide to go psycho.
But creators of these games are now taking a more adult approach and we are seeing consequences in-game should you choose to travel that evil route. Look at Fable 2, where characters will avoid you like the plague if you have committed foul deeds against your fellow man. Or Oblivion where should you wish to become a vampire, preying on innocent villagers, then taverns and shops will welcome you no longer. Now besides from opening different branches and endings to a story, I think being held accountable for crimes in videogames is a great thing. Heck if nothing else it shows younger players (whose parents still insist on getting 15+ rated titles for their children) that there is a penalty for pulling a trigger or swinging a blade. It will make them stop and think like I did. Perhaps instead of games getting blamed for violence, maybe they'll get praise for showing the negative results that bloodshed and mayhem usually bring?

Play To Bleed

It must be love

You know the old guitar cliche, 'played until my fingers bled'? This is what I do with videogames. If you would kindly glance upward at the photo you will see that this is no idle exaggeration. What games inspired such furious playtime? Jak & Daxter, Hyper Sports, Tekken 6, Far Cry 2, Green Beret and Batman Arkham City.
Where others talk, I actually do the walk. Im no stranger to blood in the pursuit of happiness. (Just ask my probably withered internal organs). If you want maximum thrills, you simply must be prepared to suffer slightly. (Or greatly depending on your mood). Blood is our Life and we shouldn't be afraid of it. It is the human swill.
And be advised this is not in anyway a reflection of poor joypad design because Sony, and to a lesser extent Microsoft, make fantastic console controllers and always have done. Its just ME, I always play to the extremes in whatever it is I do. Drink, sex, games, food, music, you name it, and i'll abuse it. I don't just do it, I pile on the chapters and bones and froth with it! Embrace it with as much gusto as a Great White shark tearing into a hapless juicy seal. This is me.

The Hero Game

With the release of Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception today (and even more truly great titles due this month), the videogame has evolved into something more than just a game. Its been happening for a while of course but with this current crop of new releases, we can safely say that videogames are no longer mere games with hi-scores, they are interactive films, the natural extension of the movie with brilliantly written/scripted stories which contain convincing characters and fabulous looks.
What started in the late seventies/early eighties with the likes of Pac Man, Bombjack, Bubble Bobble, etc, has now turned into a bona fide, fully fledged successor to cinema. The digital tadpole has found its creative legs so to speak and could well sprint past film as the more popular form of entertainment (if it hasn't already). And why not? Its as 'legimate' as the silver screen as ever been.
People want more immersion into stories these days, one only has to look at the popularity of Wii games and 3D movies to see evidence of this. Im not knocking film but the thirst to get more involved is a real one, one that Hollywood cannot quench. We don't want to be swooning over the leading man or lady anymore, we want to be them, want to fire their guns and defeat the arch villain ourselves. The audience is no longer content with leaving it all up to Stallone & Co.


Nathan doing what he does best

Take last years Western game Red Dead Redemtion for instance. That was more than a videogame, it was an experience. The player actually felt as if they were in their very own Wild West adventure; we hunted animals, rescued damsels in distress, captured wanted men, played poker in typically Texan styled saloon bars. We lived like the games (anti)hero, John Marston lived. It was a hell of a ride and no offence to Josey Wales and all celluloid cowboys, it reached further into the spirit and tickled the emotions much more than a mere film ever could. You see as my fellow countryman, the folk singer Max Boyce would say, "I was there!"
Videogames have been constantly evolving; one of my first 'real life' games was Shenmue on Sega's Dreamcast and it is a title that holds wonderful memories in the games files in my brain. The hi-score table, while still very important to games, isn't everything. Not anymore.
And we have grown up too which makes games even more equal to the big screen. The Playstation 2 had games like The Getaway and today we see the likes of Alan Wake, Heavy Rain and L.A. Noire selling like fresh Welshcakes. All of these have fantastic stories and are produced to the highest quality. Alan Wake plays out exactly like a television series, in fact its impressed myself and others way beyond television. Its brilliant!
I have been saying this for a while now, but movies today have a very short leash. Im not trying to convince you that they are finished, im simply putting videogames in their proper place; equal (but more satisfying) to film. Game on!

Games, Games, Games

Back at the beginning of the 1980's, when I was reaching the age of double digits, the dawn of computer games was also starting to appear, like a twinkling horizon with sickly, bright colours as if to scrub away the gloomy shade of the 70's. Home computers like the Spectrum, Oric, BBC and Commodore 64 were being made available for households and we kids loved them. (Some falling deeper into the craze than others).
My first computer was the Oric 1 which I had Christmas 1983, and with it came my first ever home videogames; Rat Splat! Zorgon's Revenge, Candyfloss & Hangman and Two Gun Turtle. (Im certain Centipede was in that bunch too). And I was Hooked. The lowly Oric had kick started a life long obsession with gaming, which still has me in its digital clutches as I home in on my 40th year on this planet.


And playing and playing and playing

I must have played literally hundreds of different videogames, from Pong right the way through to L.A. Noire, and besides from throwing large sums of cash at games related companies, I have also made a childhood dream turn very real. Back when I was rescuing the princess from the evil Zorgon on Tangerine's computer, or sinking 10p pieces into Double Dragon in the arcades, I used to think how cool it would be to own each and every game I played. (It was a popular wish I can tell you).
Of course it was pure fantasy in those days. Home computers could never replicate the power of arcade cabinets and so we made do with vastly down-sized versions and copies of the arcade hits. I had a Donkey Kong mania when I owned the Oric 1 and can remember my mother buying me a copy of Dinky Kong that was out for it at the time. It was a shambles of a clone but naturally I loved it at the time.
Today things are very different and consoles like the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 can easily bring the likes of Rampage and Kung Fu Master to life without breaking into sweat. And thanks to games publishers who have cottoned onto the fact that retro gaming has become extremely popular, the current generation systems do play the old gems since they appear on numerous Greatest Hits compilations. (Similar to music but better).

Get Zorgon!

The discs contain around 25 games of old, so all I have to do is decide which one I fancy at any given moment. And here is where I decided to go all bloggy on yer web. Choice. When you consider I own 11 different gaming consoles, I must have over 250 videogames in my games library. Something that if you had told my 13 year old self all those moons ago, would have sent me into euphoric raptures! (Or at least given me some kind of gaming vertigo).
Far from being the Heaven I thought it would be, it can be quite frustrating if you're just looking for a game to pass 20 minutes with. I usually spend half that deciding which title to boot up. Will it be Gauntlet, Marble Madness, Smash TV, Yie Ar Kung Fu, Alex Kidd, Arch Rivals, Hunchback, Ghosts n' Goblins.... buzz! Times up! Dinners ready! Believe me this has happened more than once in my house.
But its not a particularly bad situation is it? I cant believe how I almost turned a cool thing into a moan! My 13 year old self has just told me to shut the f**k up and play some of these damned fine games. Peace.

Game to Film

Now that Hollywood seems to have run out of ideas (look at all those ghastly remakes for proof) more and more videogames are being eyed up by young, horny directors and they are becoming quite popular. Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Tomb Raider, Prince of Persia are just a few movies that started life on a games console.


'Deborah Kara who?'

But here is something that has been swilling around my games addled brain: do non gamers, people without the slightest interest in playing them whatsoever, get the same excitement from seeing these movies as gameing fans do? For instance if you have never guided Lara Croft through collapsing chasms on the Playstation what do you get out of watching the girl Jolie take on the role? (Aside from the hotpants.)
Or if you have never solved the Piano Puzzle in the first Silent Hill with clues from the poem A Tale Of Birds Without A Voice what sort of thrills does the movie version give you?
Surely those without interest in games find them souless, drab affairs? I mean we gamers know all the characters and explored and 'fought' at their side through many adventures. We know some of them almost intimately and the memories of long hours of playing the game version gives us something that non gamers can never have. We have been immersed into that world much further than casual cinema goers and experienced a bonding with characters.
Dont get me wrong, good films CAN be made from games, Silent Hill and Resident Evil are both pretty decent, (the games are much better of course) but I wonder if everyone gets the same excitement out of them. When someone finally makes a Metal Gear Solid film, surely some will think of it as just another Rambo type action flick when to others it will be much, much more.

Christmas Adventures in Pixel City

It is Christmas eve and what better way to wait for the Big Guy in Red to drop by than to fill the day with videogames? Alcohol will be added later on of course, but for now follow me as I charge headlong through bullets and mysteries, zombies and beautiful damsels, in order to save Christmas eve from those pixelated baddies who would have it ruined.
The order of the day ~

1. Outrun

Ah the perfect way to start a session. Sun blistering the tarmac of winding highways, a bouncing, vibrant soundtrack on your Ferrari's sound system and a blonde in the passenger seat ready to praise you after each successful manouvre (in the car of course) and give you a ear bashing whenever you fluff up. Perfect.

2. High Velocity Bowling

Some friendly rivalry between countries via the internet and a mini bowling tournament. This sadly went boobs up after the server crashed. Or got drunk.

3. Zen Pinball

Pinball is great for Christmas eve. Those one-more-go hi scores make time go quicker and should the Bearded One show up during a game you can challenge him! How cool would his name look on the scoretable?

4. Saw II (demo)

I fancied pulling my own eyeball out to give it a polish. Move on, nothing to see here!

5. 1942 Joint Strike

Search the skies for Santa while turning enemy fighter planes into balls of fire, and raining shells upon the tanks and supply trucks below. If the Jolly Fellow fails to turn up at your house later, be comforted to know that he didn't feel a thing.

6. Mafia II

Father Christmas can travel the planet in one night. I on the other cannot, but I am able to time travel. Back into 1950's New York City to chase down and kill a gangster who goes by the un-gangsterish name of 'Porky'.
In real life I have pork cooking in the oven for a Christmas eve feast so the smell as I gun the hapless fatty down in a hail of bullets is in keeping with his nickname. RIP Porkster ~ Death Was Your Santa Claus.

7. Bishi Bashi Special

Nothing like a bit of Japanese madness to get the party started! And there is no better game than this one. Basically Bishi is a ton of mini games, all of which range from standard weird to downright absurd. How about some of these game challenges to let your mind wander:
Shake The Can to Outer Space ~ shake tin, watch go.
Jump for Meat ~ Help the muscled guy on a pogo stick get the ham.
Burst the Balloon ~ Help muscles again, this time pump up a balloon until it blows a living room up.
Uncle Launcher ~ Shoot your uncle from a canon and land him on a giant plate held up by a stone Oriental man in just his pants!?

Game On!

8. Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare

Cowboys! Zombies! Cowboy zombies! Theres no yuletide joy in Blackwater, as the dead seem to have gotten bored of being a dead and are now staggering around the stables and saloon bars, looking for flesh. YOUR flesh.
Its up to former outlaw John Marston to make things safe for Rudolph and friends.

Not All That Glitters Is Gaming Gold

There are going to be quite a few miserable young faces on Christmas morning. And the reason will not be the fact that Grandad has broken wind yet again or the shortage of batteries. (Although Grandpa might let a sly one off depending on the sprouts.) No, the pouting chopses will be because of videogames. Or rather because Mummy and Daddy thought they knew better and chose the games themselves resulting in wee Jimmy/Jenny unwrapping a stinker left by Santa under the tree. (Not the type Grandad usually leaves behind either.)


But Mummy said 'Sonic Black Ops ~ The Hunt for Mario' was cool..

As a regular visitor to game stores I see it all the time, parents and grandparents with no clue, heading straight for the best sellers simply on the strength of seeing some half assed advert of the game inbetween Coronation Street. Or because its the game of a recent blockbuster movie, which as everyone knows by now (or should) is always tripe. And it gets worse during the Silly Season.
Now im not saying everybody should have an encyclopedic knowledge of videogames. Thats silly. But children and young adults generally DO have that knowledge so ~ WHY NOT ASK THEM? Instead of listening to what adverts tell you to buy? *Newsflash* Those adverts are made and paid for by the games makers, they are obviously going to shower them with praise. Don't be fooled or sucked in, or else tears around the Christmas turkey will be the order of the day so you'll be cancelling that sherry with Queenie's speech.
Just because the latest war fest has been hyped to the eyeballs and news of sales are making the headlines, doen't necessarily mean the game is any good. For example the movie Avatar ~ media raved about it but it was ultimately *censored*
So listen to your little darlings. There is much danger (not to mention pouting) in choosing titles yourself if you're not a games fan. Some crafty games companies (albeit the less reputable types) will deceive the clueless shopper by releasing a less than average game in the same genre as a highly successful one and give it a similar title. Many a doting granny has fallen for that trick over the years.
Anyway if you insist on suprising wee Jimmy/Jenny on Christmas morning then allow me to at least point you in the direction of some good videogames, which while not having been plastered all over your favourite soap opera will nevertheless give hours of happiness to your little loved one and avoid the embarrassing moment when you watch wee Jimmy/Jenny unwrap your special gift, only to see their face drop for a second before recovering enough to tell you 'its wonderful!' And proceed to play the game for ten minutes until you leave then never touch it again. It happens. A lot.
So here goes ~

1. Mass Effect 2 2. Hydro Hurricane Thunder 3. Castlevania: Lord of Shadows 4. Vanquish 5. Donkey Kong Country Returns

Any one of these titles will produce no end of smiles and thrills, and are actually better (and cheaper) than a lot of titles in the charts, due to the overwhelming amount of sludge which seeps onto the shelves at this time of year.
Do yourselves a huge favour dear reader and take heed. Wee Jimmy/Jenny will love you even more for it. Merry Christmas!