World's Finest Burgers

Its no secret that I enjoy fast food and being British fish & chips of course is my favourite. But beef burgers come in a close second. Here I am going to try and compile a list of where mankind can find the best burger!
Texas has some of the finest beef steaks and certainly this seems to go for burgers too because a little Texan birdie tells me that that are a few great joints in the Metroplex area alone.

First up is Kincaid's which is a Fort Worth institution and also does speciality deviled eggs. Neat!
Next is Lee Harvey's located south of downtown Dallas which not only cooks a fantastic burge with killer onion rings but they also sell beer!
Number three is Adair's situated in the cool sounding Deep Ellum Their hamburgers are supposed to start out over an inch thick and about six inches across. and locals say that nabbing a beef burger there is not for the faint of heart. Im on my way pardner!

A little closer to home this one but Barrie's Plaice in Burry Port, West Wales does a good burger. Nice big patties and not stingy with the onions like other places and homemade relish (at least it used to be.) This is unusual too because Barrie's Plaice is a chip shop and chippies don't normally make great burgers but these are wonderfully tasty.

I'll take two please

Forgiving The Hammer and Blood

Cornelia 'Corrie' Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."
This got me thinking, if I was ever wronged would I have enough heart to forgive the architect of my misery? And would I even want to? Obviously it depends on what was done against myself and forgiving a thief for stealing £50 is easier than forgiving a person for harming or murdering a loved one.
The bible has an awful lot to say on the subject of course, as do other religious scriptures but me personally, I am a very unforgiving creature. Okay i'll admit, im not a very religious person, (although I do have a spiritual side) so it won't be suprising that my beliefs differ from the good book, however I do see what Cornelia meant by what she said. It just isn't in me.
I have had belongings stolen from me and it was pretty unpleasant. But worse, much much worse, an old girlfriend was the victim of rape, and a family friend was murdered, so I know only too well the real horrors of violent crime. And had I been dating my ex~girlfriend at the time she was raped the courts would know just how unforgiving I can be, for I would have had to appear before them on some very serious charges.

Garbage Ghoul Kid

I have only recently become a father and were any harm find itself to her by the foul deeds of man then im not sorry but I would visit the wicked side of my character onto the perpetrator of the crime. And his agonies would be terrible.
I know most fathers would preach the same thing but happily, mercifully most have not been sinned against. I haven't really but people close to me have. I have witnessed their almost unbearable suffering and I know that my spirit could not endure it. I know that it would turn against me, corrupt me and turn me into a demon, hellbent on carnage and bloodshed. Never been one for forgiveness, but I could become quite the disciple of revenge.
I have a dark side anyway and happily killed fish and newts in my youth. I am now a balanced gentle soul who loves poetry and music but if hurt befell my loved ones then resurrect the fiend I would. Without regret.
Why should I forgive? To my thinking that is the same as curling up in a corner and pleading with the evil man to go away, but seeing you are weak, evil pays no attention and carries on hurting you. Forgiveness to me is accepting a slap across the face like you almost deserved it then pitying your abuser.
Listen im no guru and if some people get comfort and peace through forgiveness then fine! Wonderful! I truly am glad for them but it isn't in me. I will leave that to God because im not big enough for it. I don't even want to be.

Oscar's Ladies

Last night as you read here yesterday was Oscar night, and according to most sensible media types it was a generally drab affair. It seems most of the issues were with the presenters but I cannot comment as I was having a threesome in dreamland with Susan Sarandon and Tori Amos. Yes I DO have wonderful dreams.
Neither am I qualified to talk about the films that were up for a shout because im quite sure I haven't watched any of them. So where exactly am I able to throw in my penn'orth worth about this movie themed bash? One word: women.
The Oscars are afterall where all the pretty people go right? Well this is what I thought until I caught a glimpse of the photos from the front line.
And before I start I would like to point out that im not trying to be 'sensationalist' or 'controversial', im too honest for that rubbish. Im just me here.
Last nights ceremony had some of the plainest looking ladies ever to trot on a red carpet. I know I have a taste for more mature ladies but who can blame me if the young fillies attending the 2011 Oscars were anything to go by? Half of them I had never even heard of! Mila Kunis. Who she? Ditto Jennifer Lawrence and Michelle Williams. Never heard of them. No really.
Gwyneth Paltrow and Halle Berry, I have always thought of as rather plain. Cate Blanchet can look pretty fine when she wants to but she looked uninspired at last nights do.


Marisa looking smokin'!

Scarlet Johansson who seems to have been hailed by most as THE current face of beauty has never floated my boat, likewise Penelope Cruz. When she first arrived on the movie scene I quite liked (see 'fancy') Sandra Bullock but nowadays she reminds me of Pinochio. I also used to have a fondness for Sharon Stone (and not because of THAT movie,) she used to be foxy but the photo I saw of her at the 83rd mutual masterbation club, Ms Stone looked like she had just chewed on a live electrical cable.
Now to be fair im sure it can become a chore having a hundred zoom lenses shoved in your face, I know it would tip me over the edge, but they are movie stars afterall. Shouldn't they be used to it?


Marry me Helen!

But enough! Let me now turn to the truly gorgeous ladies who turned up. They were a little thin on the ground but boy they looked stunning! And I have actually heard of these. *Shocker*
Natalie Portman, looked quite lovely as usual. I remember seeing her in The Phantom Menace and feeling very awkward for lusting after her because she was only 16 at the time. Very weird for my usual tastes.
Another hottie was the delightful Marisa Tomei. She is as near to my perfect woman as anyone can be without actually being Dame Helen Mirren. Which is nice as Dame Helen was also in attendance, and as you can see from the above piccy, she was her usual jaw~droppingly beautiful self. I have no doubts that this Dame will continue to look this good even if she lives to be 100!
Now I realise the Oscars isn't a beauty contest and no doubt some women will be offended by my reducing it to such a thing, while ignoring the acting talent on offer but try to cut me a little slack here. Im a poet and the thing which is etched more boldly than anything else on a poet's heart is lust. Just ask Keats.
Oh and best looking guy? Christian Bale. Well what do you expect? He's Welsh!

The Reaper At The Hollwood Gates

First of all NO, this is not another rant towrad the movie industry. This is a list, a list of DEATH! Mwahahaha!! *Coughs*
Excuse my lame attempts at sound effects. Now as im a rather eager ghoul and proud of it! I will attempt to name all of the films and plays that have featured execution scenes.

1. Amongst Barbarians

This is a play by Michael Wall and was probably the first time I witnessed an execution scene on television. The tv adaptation featured David Jason and Lee Ross (who played one of the lads who was eventually hanged for drug smuggling.) It has possibly one of the most detailed hanging scenes ever put on film. I sat mesmerised as the director pans in on the two guys standing on the trapdoor, the white cloths over their heads being sucked in and out as they breathed their last.

2. Shocker

Horror flick by Wes Craven. This movie has one of my favourite tagline EVER ~ On October 2nd at 6:45am mass murderer Horace Pinker was put to death. Now he's REALLY mad.

3. A Letter from Death Row

1998 film by Poison singer Bret Michaels. He wrote, directed and starred in it. Ok it wasn't very good but no problem, it counts.

4. Let Him Have It

Film about Derek Bentley starring Christoper Ecclestone. This is a good film and Ecclestone gives a fine performance as Bentley which even had me rooting for him eventhough I knew he was going to swing. Me hard hearted? Never.


Horac is frying tonight folks!

5. I Want To Live!

Actress Susan Hayward won a Oscar for her role as Barbera Graham in this 1958 movie. The flick suggests Graham was actually innocent but then most of this type of film do.

6. The Chamber

The movie based on the John Grisham novel, starring the marvellous Gene Hackman. I think the finale is pretty accurate as to how being gassed to death goes down.

7. The Green Mile

Another great film, this time based on the writings of Stephen King. I was a pretty latecomer to this, having only first seen it in 2010. A rare exception where a good film is made from King's books.

8. Dead Man Walking

Probably the most famous film based on death row.

Just another reason to show this photo of Ms Sarandon's fantastic breasts

9. Sin City

The scene where Marv (Micky Rourke) dies in the electric chair.

10. Pierrepoint

Starring Timothy Spall as Britain's finest hangman. This film showed Albert Pierrepoint to be a sort of 'gentleman executioner', taking care of the condemned's body after sentence had been carried out. Wonderful little film.

Oscar....Who He?

With the amount of tripe Hollybored churns out these days, im quite suprised this Oscar thingy is still around but hey ho as The Ramones used to say, these awards have come around again and tonight some fancy hall will be filled with actors and directors while thousands of oiks with nothing better to do sit around gawking at them. And no doubt dreaming of the poncey...sorry LOVELY clothes being shown off. (No accounting for some peoples taste.)


the new Frannsters award

I can't comment on the films being nominated because quite franky dear reader I don't know a thing about it. I long since gave up on movies having the power to entertain me but no doubt Clint Eastwood is up for something as he is one of the very few actors/directors left who is any good. (When Eastwood eventually shuffles off his mortal coil, the movie world will feel a loss such as its never felt before, mark this writers words.)
But whoever wins, I won't be tuning in because the time difference means that by the time the people have plonked their finely toned derriere's onto the plush seats, I will be safely in the arms of Morpheus visiting a paradise that no Hollywood director or artist could ever dream up.
I do wonder what television viewers get out of watching this sort of thing. Is it to ogle at the so called 'beautiful' people? To drool over their clothes and cleavage? Or are they supporting their favourite film? A film they had nothing whatsoever to do with apart from gain a few pounds from shovelling popcorn into their gobs when watching it. Why was this circus ever televised in the first place? A silly question to ask in these celebrity ravaged days of course, when everything an actor does is lapped up by the ignorant masses but im fairly suprised it got air time in times past. We haven't always been so moronically obssessed with fame. Have we?

If Heaven Had A Chip Shop

Ive eaten at hundreds of fish & chips shops in my lifetime and dined on a thousand fish suppers. To me there is nothing finer than fast food and top of the pile is cod and chips (followed by pie and chicken) served in a paper parcel. I love it, if ever I found myself having to decide on a last meal this great meal would probably be my choice. (With cawl and a bacon/egg sandwich to start.)
Look down at that photo below. Do you see that golden battered fish with chips? Even if I was feeling ill with a rotten stomach ache, I could STILL eat that. But not just ANY old chippy will suffice, oh no. I mean some chip shops in this country can be quite revolting places which put shame on the good ones as I have said elsewhere in blogs. The fish & chips pictured here however (taken on my hungry lap no less) are from a place I am grateful that I only live 25 minutes away from. Dont just glance quickly and scroll on past the photo, LOOK AT IT! BASK IN ITS CRISPY AWESOMNESS! Believe you me dear reader, you have NEVER had it so good. In fact I only wish I was able to send you all a hot parcel of its lovliness to prove to you just how delicious it is!

Fish to die for

Where is this fried delight? I hear you ask? Well I shall tell you, this fantabulous fish & chip shop can be found in Tenby, on Upper Park Road to be exact. And a visit will NOT disappoint. If it was any closer to me I would weigh over 20 stones and im not kidding! And if I knew the secret to cooking such amazing food im not certain I would be willing to share it with the world, but this shop DOES want to share and by the Gods we should be on our knees in thanks.
You think I exaggerate or go over the top in my praise? Take a look at another photo taken as yours truly was halfway through the meal. Look at those white flakes of fish, just waiting to melt in your mouth!


Simply divine!

This is heavenly I tell you, a dish that will send your tastebuds on a blessed journey of sizzling scrumptiousness. And its always FRESH, they cook food to order unlike some chip shops who keep their food festering until some unlucky person orders it and they nuke it in a microwave. I assure you Park Road chippy NEVER does this.
So what are you waiting for? If you live within half an hour of Tenby then get thee to the chippy and thank the Lord you have tastebuds! Those further afield then I am sorry. As soon as somebody comes up with a way to send food via the WWW highway I promise to send you a parcel.

Game to Film

Now that Hollywood seems to have run out of ideas (look at all those ghastly remakes for proof) more and more videogames are being eyed up by young, horny directors and they are becoming quite popular. Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Tomb Raider, Prince of Persia are just a few movies that started life on a games console.


'Deborah Kara who?'

But here is something that has been swilling around my games addled brain: do non gamers, people without the slightest interest in playing them whatsoever, get the same excitement from seeing these movies as gameing fans do? For instance if you have never guided Lara Croft through collapsing chasms on the Playstation what do you get out of watching the girl Jolie take on the role? (Aside from the hotpants.)
Or if you have never solved the Piano Puzzle in the first Silent Hill with clues from the poem A Tale Of Birds Without A Voice what sort of thrills does the movie version give you?
Surely those without interest in games find them souless, drab affairs? I mean we gamers know all the characters and explored and 'fought' at their side through many adventures. We know some of them almost intimately and the memories of long hours of playing the game version gives us something that non gamers can never have. We have been immersed into that world much further than casual cinema goers and experienced a bonding with characters.
Dont get me wrong, good films CAN be made from games, Silent Hill and Resident Evil are both pretty decent, (the games are much better of course) but I wonder if everyone gets the same excitement out of them. When someone finally makes a Metal Gear Solid film, surely some will think of it as just another Rambo type action flick when to others it will be much, much more.