Tuesday 17 September 2013

Grand Theft Holiday

 photo BUXLkMNCcAAK02u278x370_zps9bc95f35.jpg
Roll on 6pm

Unless you live on Mars (and even then you will probably have heard about it), you will be aware that Grand Theft Auto V has been released today. One of the most expensive videogames ever made at £170m, more than many Hollywood blockbusters, we can be assured that games have grown up (youngsters really have no business playing this and shame on parents who buy it for wee Jimmy.) As a huge videogame fan, and not ashamed to admit it, my copy of the game is still sealed but I can almost feel it burning a hole through that packaging. Excited much? Oh yes, its like being eight years old on Christmas eve.
Now I understand that there will be readers who the last game they played was Pac-Man in the 1980s, and explaining the appeal of a game like Grand Theft Auto is difficult but I shall endeavour to try. By and large, the majority of us lead boring old lives. We do, admit it. Living on the edge for most of us means a cheeky sleeve of ginger (beer) at lunchtime, or chancing it by not buying a car park ticket. And this is fine, we enjoy the peace (and liberty) that living a law abiding life brings. But occasionally its nice to let off some steam and cause mayhem, to kick back at the world when on the skids, and because prison doesn't sound like a good plan and nobody (sane) wants to create real grief, the best way to go is to load up a copy of GTA. They are like little stress balls, only more fun.
Fancy robbing a liquor store? Go right ahead. Carjacking (even plane hijack)? Certainly sir, what vehicle takes your fancy? Cop giving you the funny eye? Why you oughta go right over and teach him a (painful) lesson. Its not even restricted to crime, there are a ton of things to get up to in Los Santos (Rockstar's reimagined Los Angeles) from golf, tennis, mountain climbing to unwinding in casinos and better still, strip clubs! Even walking along Santa Monica beach and taking in the sights is a good way to pass time, especially if you happen to be in cloudy old Britain as the nights begin to draw in. See the attraction yet? Its a holiday without the need of passports or awkwardly asking strangers for directions.
Videogames have come a long way since the time when gorillas hurled flaming barrels at fat Italian plumbers, or two white lines and a moving square represented tennis. Now we have 'sandbox' games, open worlds where the player can immerse themselves completely and and 'live another life', and nobody does it better than Rockstar's Grand Theft Auto series. Ive been a fan since the humble top down beginnings of the original game in 1997, they have gotten better with every 'episode'. (I think of them more as a violent soap opera with hefty doses of satire and comedy.) Its an escape. Some get it through books and movies (im an avid reader myself) but for those of us who need that little extra, to make us feel more involved, games are perfect. Why watch someone blow up a car in film when you can do it yourself?
Like I said, most of us lead very boring lives. But not today, not if you have Grand Theft Auto V.

Wednesday 4 September 2013

No Jake's Joy over Kidnappers Suicide

 photo article-2410898-1B9CAC19000005DC-266_634x417330x222_zpsd298a9d4.jpg
Looking nice?

So Ariel Castro, the Cleveland kidnapper has been found hanged in his prison cell? The creep was was found about 9.20pm yesterday at Correctional Reception Center in Orient, Ohio, just one month into his 1,000 year prison term.

Look, don't get me wrong here, im Pro death penalty, so its no loss in my eyes but! I am also in conflict with myself because I believe he got off way too lightly. Have you seen photos of the cell (or similar cells) this guy was kept in? There is one above. His suffering is over, I would also prefer the stiff n' blue option against spending any amount of time in one of those. Then of course there is the fear thing. Castro would have been a marked man in gaol, spending every day, every hour of that day, watching his back, wary of a 'shiv' being plunged into his podgy flesh. Or an eye gouging (these inmates can be terrible with their jailhouse retribution.) He is free of that now too.
Also, because I do not believe in such a place as 'hell', and think we all (sinners included) go to a gentle paradise after we die, its even harder to take this news and I cannot see much to be happy about. It is pretty evident to me that to a lot of folk death is a mighty taboo, the hideous dark to end all darkness; but to me (and there others who feel the same) death is not so frightening, it doesn't posses that dreadful clout and therefore my jubilation at the news of Ariel Castros demise will not include shouts of "YES!" and "Burn in hell!" Because I truly believe he has cheated the 'hangman'.
Here in Great Britain, the vile Ian Brady is on his 47th year in captivity and guess what? He is begging for the right to end his pathetic life. The worm has been on hunger strike for years but the high security hospital he so deeply despises, keeps on force feeding him in order to deny him his freedom. Death is escape. Death is no more weakness of flesh. Death is becoming pure. Death is freedom.
Of course we all hold different beliefs, this is the beauty of Life and there will be thousands of merry people today, celebrating Castro's descent into hell or some other eternal damnation. Good luck to you, enjoy your day but brief it will be. Rather like this cretins sentence.