Friday 29 July 2011

A New Vote on Death?

Next week my fellow blogger Guido Fawkes is launching an online petition
to get the death penalty restored. Or at least get MP's voting on it once again and debating, thus bringing it to peoples attention. Will it do any good? Will we as a whole suddenly snap out of our forgiving mindset regarding murderers and instantly decide to abandon soft prison sentences in exchange for the return of the noose? I sincerely doubt it as good fortune is in short supply these days (unless you happen to be a criminal) but it does prove that hopes of a death penalty haven't disappeared.
You see when the lily hearts finally grow up and throw away their liberal all-life-deserves-a-second-chance fad, we will bring back capital punishment like I have often told you we would. To be against the death penalty is a fairly new 'trend' which will take a few years to shake off as all nasty viruses do. Its not unusual for countries to test new waters and try different approaches to punishment for example but these tests will be abandoned when it is seen that nothing good comes of it.

Photobucket Killers: walk this way

And seriously, what good can ever become of softening prison sentences for violent crimes? This new petition sees to employ the death penalty for those who murder children and police officers. Is there any other suitable punishment for those who commit such crimes? A sane, right minded person would think not.
Personally I would bring the the hemp rope back for all murders (even rape and drunk driving which results in death) but at least this would be sailing in the right direction.
Anyway im very happy for this petition because at least I know im not the only one thinking about it. You see when something is truly dead, like for instance hanging, drawing & quartering, then it remains so. But hope for the death penalty is still alive in the UK. And as long as it is, it could always come back to the table.

I Love Sugar

Photobucket
Sugar rush: hitting all the right notes

I have been an avid porn consumer (that sounds SOOO right!) since the age of 13 when adult magazines used to 'fall' in my schoolbag like they were addicted to my biro ink and tippex. And when I passed for 18 when I was only 15 the hard ons really began. By the way, all that grot hasn't made me blind but I do still feel as fresh now as I did in my teens. But this is to be expected because as any connoisseur of pornography knows, a good skin flick keeps you young!
I have watched a ton of these movies (and then some) and due to my dedication to celluloid bonking I feel rightly qualified in being able to suggest some great titles of the adult silver screen.
Candy's Little Sister, Sugar is one such film. Made in 1988, I saw this when it was first released and it is is a horny piece of XXX cinema. So track it down (its available on the interwebz) and follow dim witted Sugar (Ariel Knight) as she attempts to find a fortune that her uncle Wilbur has left her in his will, so that she can realise her dream of attending word processing school. (I say fortune, old pervy Wilb has only left her $2,434).
There are some real porn legends in Candy's Little Sister, Sugar including Laurel Canyon, Mike Horner, Nina Hartley, Peter North and the late John Leslie as the improbably named Johnny Dooropener.
A wonderful blue movie that caters for every 'taste'. *wink*

Thursday 28 July 2011

Buried Without A Glance

When I was a lot younger than the youngster I am even now; when I had interest in sticklebacks in jam jars and jawbreakers, I was told when I asked of death (its fascinated me since birth) that everyone is born with a spiritual Elf who is reeling the soul in with invisible thread. We each have alloted time on earth and when the thread runs out we cross over to the soul lounge. This is how it was explained to my young (and impressed) self.
Now as we do not know when our line runs out, or how fast the Elf is winding it in, I am going to publish in this here blog all the popular books, film, music, etc that I have never picked up. Ignored. Shunned. Passed by. Refused. Could not be assed.

**** DISCLAIMER ****
Im not trying to be the cool, indifferent guy here who hates all the popular sh!t. Hell I love Abba, Coronation Street, bacon, beer and Clint Eastwood and nothing is more appreciated than those things (aside from the soap opera). Its simply how I feel and how ive always felt.

Photobucket
Comprende?

Then I'll begin...

Star Trek

The only time I have ever watched this is when Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan came on the television once around a hundred years ago. I gave it a chance and watched the first half hour before concluding that my life wouldn't be the poorer without it. In fact the opposite seemed very clear. So all of these Spock references that others have made over the years have fallen dead at my feet like fumigated weasels and flat, warm lager.

The Beatles and Queen

My dislike for these bands is well known and I have written about it in other posts. I have never listened to an album by either of these acts, and only heard whats been played on the radio (until I reach the station tuner). Im no musician but they both have boring sounds (in my opinion) and their lyrics border on the childish. And yet they were huge. Weird.

Comedians

I have never ever once watched anything by the likes of Steve Coogan, Caroline Aherne, Jack Dee, Peter Kay etc etc. I dont watch television much and this bunch would get me no nearer the remote.

James Bond

Out of all these films Ive watched two right through (Tomorrow Never Dies and Casino Royale) and two I got to halfway (Octopussy and Living Daylights). I never understood the appeal of spy movies and Bond in my opinion was an utterly unimpressive one. Bored me until my teeth itched.

Harry Potter

Never read the books or watched the films. I would rather peel my eyeballs and dunk my fingers in a meat mincer. I couldn't give a flying f**k about any of this rubbish.

Wednesday 27 July 2011

Elegant Parcel

Photobucket Photobucket

I, Steven Francis, poet, writer and soul groomer, have captured the embodiment of Elegance. Bow to her and drink deep from the photographs above! Now a part of the gate has opened, I shall continue on this journey....

Sunday 24 July 2011

The Wine Is On The House

Excuse the cheap title, its a sunday and I feel lazy.
The world and its cockles know that singer Amy Winehouse died yesterday (July 23rd) and most of the people were deeply saddened by the news. A young woman, blessed with talent in abundance, gone too soon to the rock gig in the sky. Although I am a keen supporter of hard living, I do feel for her family and loved ones who are left with broken hearts. I know only too well what its like to lose cherished people to drink and drugs, and even when you expect it, its never easy when the curtain does eventually fall.
Personally speaking I would have loved to have met up with Amy and shared a few shots but thats for another time now.
What is annoying however is the medias obssession with this Club 27 rubbish. Joplin, Hendrix, Morrison, Cobain and now Amy all dead at age 27. *Cue Twilight music* Is it only me who thinks its simply coinsidence? I dont believe that somewhere in the Afterlife there is an exclusive club for tarnished rock stars. They all indulged in drugs and had the money to do so freely, thats what offed them so young. Not some hokus pokus jinx of an age.
Straying slightly, this news does reinforce what I hhave always believed; talent always comes at a price. Its a damned shame that Ms Winehouse had to pay after only two albums. Her music was not my usual cup of tea but I could listen to it at times without switching to something harder. Something harder. Yes the tick which allows some of us to conjure up great words and music always drives us toward the Something Harder nail.
Amy's tune 'Rehab' covered it perfectly I feel. When her family and 'handlers' tried telling her to seek some help, she not only dismissed the idea completely but released a massive "F**K YOU" to them. Publicly. (I did it myself with my poem "The ChampionLand". I went to rehab but there was no way I meant to get sober and Im still drinking to this day).
Yes its sad whats happened but my sympathies lay with her family. This young lady wasn't stupid, she knew what she was doing as all us boozehounds do. We realise death is creeping up on us but its our life.

Monday 18 July 2011

Insert (Last) Coin

We all know about last meals on death row. The condemned gets to choose whatever snack they fancy before getting sent on a long bye bye. (Cawl & a Welsh fry up for me). But lets change the scenario for the gamers among us. Nevermind about food, which games would you play if it was your last 24 hours on earth? And seeing as there is a $20 limit in most states as to what the inmate can order, lets put a 10 game limit here.

My Last Games List ~

1. Shenmue
2. Resident Evil 2
3. Metal Gear Solid
4. Ghosts n' Goblins
5. Batman Arkham Asylum
6. Red Dead Redemption
7. Double Dragon
8. Jak & Daxter
9. Tombi
10. Rage Racer

Saturday 16 July 2011

Make Mine A Stella

Photobucket
Stella ~ quite a transformation

Cards on the table here. Coronation Street is my favourite soap opera. In fact its my only soap opera, after having left the misery of Albert Square many years ago (one factor being that I hate cockney accents) and never been much for Emmerdale. I was also a huge fan of Welsh language soap Pobl Y Cwm and I must get back into that soon.
Anyway, Michelle Collins. Who would have thunk it? As everyone in Britain and their gerbil knows, she played Cindy Beale in Corrie rivals Eastenders but has just recently turned up on the Weatherfield cobbles. And bloody hell, she looks fabulous, really stunning! I can't believe the actress is 50 either, she looks like a really fit 30 year old.
Funny how when I used to watch her previous soap (Arthur Fowler was still in it back then), I used to think Michelle Collins/Cindy Beale a very plain looking woman. Not my type at all.
Fastfoward a few years, away from the London grime and into the Rover's Return however, and Michelle/Stella is definately my type. That is one bombshell of a barmaid and anyone who disagrees can step outside for a ding dong on the cobbles, as Norris looks on. First the sultry Carla and now sex kitten barmaid Stella. Oh to live in Weatherfield.

Games, Games, Games

Back at the beginning of the 1980's, when I was reaching the age of double digits, the dawn of computer games was also starting to appear, like a twinkling horizon with sickly, bright colours as if to scrub away the gloomy shade of the 70's. Home computers like the Spectrum, Oric, BBC and Commodore 64 were being made available for households and we kids loved them. (Some falling deeper into the craze than others).
My first computer was the Oric 1 which I had Christmas 1983, and with it came my first ever home videogames; Rat Splat! Zorgon's Revenge, Candyfloss & Hangman and Two Gun Turtle. (Im certain Centipede was in that bunch too). And I was Hooked. The lowly Oric had kick started a life long obsession with gaming, which still has me in its digital clutches as I home in on my 40th year on this planet.

Photobucket
And playing and playing and playing

I must have played literally hundreds of different videogames, from Pong right the way through to L.A. Noire, and besides from throwing large sums of cash at games related companies, I have also made a childhood dream turn very real. Back when I was rescuing the princess from the evil Zorgon on Tangerine's computer, or sinking 10p pieces into Double Dragon in the arcades, I used to think how cool it would be to own each and every game I played. (It was a popular wish I can tell you).
Of course it was pure fantasy in those days. Home computers could never replicate the power of arcade cabinets and so we made do with vastly down-sized versions and copies of the arcade hits. I had a Donkey Kong mania when I owned the Oric 1 and can remember my mother buying me a copy of Dinky Kong that was out for it at the time. It was a shambles of a clone but naturally I loved it at the time.
Today things are very different and consoles like the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 can easily bring the likes of Rampage and Kung Fu Master to life without breaking into sweat. And thanks to games publishers who have cottoned onto the fact that retro gaming has become extremely popular, the current generation systems do play the old gems since they appear on numerous Greatest Hits compilations. (Similar to music but better).

Photobucket Get Zorgon!

The discs contain around 25 games of old, so all I have to do is decide which one I fancy at any given moment. And here is where I decided to go all bloggy on yer web. Choice. When you consider I own 11 different gaming consoles, I must have over 250 videogames in my games library. Something that if you had told my 13 year old self all those moons ago, would have sent me into euphoric raptures! (Or at least given me some kind of gaming vertigo).
Far from being the Heaven I thought it would be, it can be quite frustrating if you're just looking for a game to pass 20 minutes with. I usually spend half that deciding which title to boot up. Will it be Gauntlet, Marble Madness, Smash TV, Yie Ar Kung Fu, Alex Kidd, Arch Rivals, Hunchback, Ghosts n' Goblins.... buzz! Times up! Dinners ready! Believe me this has happened more than once in my house.
But its not a particularly bad situation is it? I cant believe how I almost turned a cool thing into a moan! My 13 year old self has just told me to shut the f**k up and play some of these damned fine games. Peace.

Sunday 10 July 2011

Public Steven Number One

Photobucket
Myself and the former Batcave

When I was growing up most children built dens. Places to escape from nagging parents and play truant from school when the classes offered nothing interesting on a particular day. (Religious studies and gym had me slipping the leash more often than not). Dens were made out of wood, tin sheets, anything you could lay your hands on, including old furniture from skips. And they could be anywhere from a farmers field to the old ash pit ponds that used to be in Burry Port.
My brother and myself, along with a few friends went one step further. One step down in fact. Under the streets and parks of our hometown, under the wheels of speeding cars and thundering trucks. It was cool.
Look at the picture above. Its in Burry Port park and before that mighty slab of concrete was put in place, there was a river there. In the 1950's before I was born, a young boy sadly drowned in it. So it was fenced off and eventually was pipes were laid and it became a sort of giant drain in case of floods. The pipes were big enough for youngsters to walk in (even skateboard) and they ran from the park right down to the harbour.
This was our greatest den. There were no cages or locks like you can see in the photograph, we had free access. Perhaps the council didn't think kids would be daring enough to make underground pipes a den but they hadn't reckoned on our crew of daredevils. We were mad back then, we even free climbed a 100ft quarry without rope and journeyed down a disused mineshaft. But those are other stories.
I am slightly proud to report that those locks were put there because of our antics. Look at the picture once more and theres a satisfied smile playing around my lips. We looked on it as a sort of Batcave and we could disappear for hours underground with nobody having hope of finding us. We could just appear out of nowhere from a wall in the harbour having walked half a mile in near darkness. Hell yes it was cool. Very bloody cool.

Saturday 9 July 2011

Cider Quench

Photobucket This hit the spot

Lyon's Maid Cider Quench iced lollies. They were around in the 80's and what a fabulous popsicle they were. During the summer when lizards would bask on railway sleepers and the lawn of the local bowls club baked hard as iron, I used to get one of these lollies from Jones' newsagents in Burry Port and eat it on the harbour wall, pretending it was real alcohol I was having.

Friday 8 July 2011

The Debs Of All Debbies

Photobucket
Retro Princess: Suzanne Snyder

I ♥ the 80's. The videogames, movies, metal music. It felt like we were at the dawn of a new age, and of course we were. Look at the classic games the 1980's spewed from its neon pie hole; Pac Man, Ghosts n' Goblins, Donkey Kong, Paperboy, Gauntlet. I could go on for hours, and that applies to movies too. Most of my favourite movies were made during the 80's including American Ninja, They Live, Killer Klowns from Outer Space and Commando.
The decade also brought the beautiful Suzanne Snyder (above) to the silver screen, most famously in Weird Science (1985) and the totally cool and previously mentioned Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988). My heart reached a few new gears, when my teenage eyeballs saw her play the two Debs in those two films.
Ms Snyder is the entire package for me. A typical American Beauty, Miss Heartbreak '85. She hits all the right notes and could make chalk on a blackboard sound good. Cute, pretty, sweet, gorgeous; the leading light in a cave of otherwise horse faced Sarah Jessica Parker lookalikes. (Or should that be stable?)
I f**king ♥ Suzanne Snyder. If I still owned a pencil case I would stencil "I F**king ♥ Suzanne Snyder" all over it. Funnily enough those two movies are the only things I have ever seen her in. I know she has appeared in other films and shows but ive missed them. Perhaps its better this way because time might not have been kind to her. But I can't imagine that, not when I gaze into the photo above like a frothy schoolkid home alone with his first smutty magazine.

Tuesday 5 July 2011

Splinters In Yer Fish!

The chip shop wooden fork. An image as recognisable as Big Ben and as familiar as sand castles. If I find a chippy that uses those white plastic types I turn around and walk out again. Its simple; plastic is not in the equation. To me, a wooden fork is more a key than eating utensil. A key which unlocks all the years I have spent, (spent in the flesh but never in my mind).
Also it is the simple pleasures in Life which make Life worth living and we are comfortable in simple mechanics. There is much warmth in homely poses. And the warm glow of my youth comes racing to the surface whenever I use a chippy fork. I feel nimble and giddy once again so behold! The wooden fork that should be golden!

Photobucket
Classic: The Height of Chippy Sophistication

This post is very much in the spirit of the Dai Jakes Book; indeed it is the perfect example of a Jakes piece of writing. Grasp a thought, any thought and bung it on a page. It doesn't have to be deep philosophy or discussions on classic literature. When I first started a Dai Jakes Book back in school, it was my intention to create a sort of 'diary within a diary'. A scrapbook of pictures more than a journal. Things that seem insignificant, until you see them again closer.

Monday 4 July 2011

Pulp Television

Over the weekend a vile child killer was stabbed in the eyes by another murderer. Today in the news, the mother of a girl killed by this murderer who dished out the 'jailhouse justice', says she wishes the two killers could have fought until they had both expired. And this got me thinking; wouldn't it be wonderful if convicted killers were made to fight to death?
This is far from a new idea of course, one only has to look to the Colosseum in Rome and films like The Running Man to know that. Even videogames have have it covered with games like Smash TV (see pic).

Photobucket A Smash Hit

But I would support this if it were ever made into reality. (It never would of course but we can dream). Two convicted murderers battling until death! And stepping away from the usual Hollywood script, there would never be the slightest chance of freedom for those who were triumphant in the arena. No, they would still be murderers and murderers need to be kept behind bars. Perhaps they could have a little extra chow at meal times or something? Free shower time maybe? I hear peace in prison showers is highly sought after, especially in American jails where convicts are more inclined to...erm you know what I mean.
It would draw millions of pounds/dollars if it aired on Pay Per View (as would live executions) and this money could go into victims charities.
The only downside would be stardom. Roman gladiators became superstars back in the day of the Colosseum so care would have to be taken to make sure this didn't happen with the inmates. Actually no, scrap that. Would anyone really hero worship a convicted child killer simply becuase they were forced to fight for our viewing pleasure? I doubt it.
This might be what one would call a barbaric idea but don't forget; coming up with ideas like this is in our nature. Look at our history.