Sunday 10 November 2013

A Knight Of Our Times

 photo SirJakes390x287_zpsf1486816.jpg
Suits you Sir!

Today we learn that David Beckham could be Knighted. Arise SirDai Beckham! (Briefly dreams of LordDai Jakes). One might say its less LordHaw Haw but more Sir Ha Ha? Okay, rubbish jokes aside, why the surprise? Did we not all see it coming? The venerable *coughs* Mr Jakes certainly did. This is my friends is very much a Knighthood of our times. Its perfect for our new age culture of celebrity, a natural progression. Most people these days worship television and the fame it bestows on its vacuous 'victims', and Beckham, even though I happen to like the man, is king of this. They might as well make it official. I can certainly think of worse people to give a gong. Dame Katie Price anyone?
David has done a ton of good work for charity, and love him or loathe him, he is a good role model for our youngsters. There have been some real disaster stories coming from the world of sport, football especially, but the boy Dave done good. I don't understand folk saying he shouldn't be Knighted because he spends most of his time in America either. Are we not all free to live wherever we like? I didn't realise that if I was made SirDai Jakes (dreaming again) I would have to be permanently based in Britain. Does Sir Paul McCartney live in the UK? (And not being a Beatle fan, I actually had to Google to see if he was a Sir or not). It would be a petty reason not to award someone a gong in my humble opinion. But then David Beckham has had to put up with this kind of garbage for a while now, envy mostly from people who are quite content sitting in an anonymous den typing spiteful bilge online.
Listen, I will happily admit there are more deserving 'unknowns' who will never be recognised for their good deeds toward good causes and their fellow man, and if it were up to me they would all be Knighted but such is life. Its not perfect, and like I have said, is Sir Beckham so bad? At least he's not falling out of a nightclub at 4am, drugged out of his eyeballs, or chasing women old enough to be his grandmother (not that that is necessarily a bad thing *laughs*).
Want to know something else? As a guy who has tattoos himself, I think its kinda cool to be getting a Knight with arms covered in ink. Feels like the outlaws have invaded the Palace! Or at least become accepted as not only prisoners and sailors get tattooed. Better not show them to Her Maj though eh.
I bet Victoria B is over the moon at the prospect of hubby becoming a Knight of the Realm (although it is not a done deal yet). I can see it now:, Lady Beckham handbags and gladrags with emphasis on the 'Lady' part. She'll make the title hip or sick, or whatever words the trendy kids are using these days. Oh and look on the bright side, at least it removes, or should, the last vestiges of any possibility that the Spice Girls will ever get back together. Cin Cin!

Friday 8 November 2013

Jakes on Royal Marine Guilty

It saddens me to have to break this news so close to Remembrance Sunday but a Royal Marine has been found guilty of murdering a wounded Afghan insurgent fighter. The soldier shot the wounded, unarmed Afghan in the chest telling the dying man: "There you are. Shuffle off this mortal coil, you ****. It's nothing you wouldn't do to us." Before turning to comrades and telling them: "Obviously this doesn't go anywhere, fellas. I just broke the Geneva Convention."
Even more depressing is we are getting people commentating under online news supporting the Marine. Wise up people! This soldier is a disgrace to those who serve the Crown with honour. There is no honour or courage in killing a captured, wounded man in cold blood. This my dear readers is murder, pure and simple. I am no pacifist, and as horrid as it is, soldiers kill each other in times of war. Its the nature of warfare. But when you have soldiers murdering captured enemy combatants, its not right. It cannot ever be right. Its psychopathic and cowardly. And yes, there are Afghan Taliban soldiers doing the exact same thing to troops but I thought our Army was better than that. Evidently some are not. There is a Geneva Convention for a reason, and if we are going to ignore it, we might as well toss it out the window. This Marine knew he was doing wrong too because he instructed his comrades to keep quiet. He knew he had just committed murder. I support our Armed Forces but I cannot defend killing a wounded man. Only cowards and those with questionable morals ever would.
I shouldn't be so surprised when crimes like this are uncovered because operating in lands where bloodshed is plenty is bound to have negative effects on any normal man. Killing, under any circumstance, isn't natural. It is bound to 'breed' the odd psycho. Violence builds on violence. The rule of the gun is never ending. But I doubt Mankind will ever learn.