Spread Arms Doctrine

There is a philosophy in Thailand that the unjust, the sinners, are worthless and to be destroyed, while those who destroy them are righteous and godlike. I like this and agree wholeheartedly with it. And if we all felt the same in Britain (the Great bit dropped off a while back) the country would not be in the sh!t state it is today regarding crime and (un)punishment.
Of course there certain people who think of places like Thailand and Korea as 'barbaric' and brutal but they are usually the types who are not above criminality themselves so should be ignored. We don't of course because they whine like children until things are changed, often for the worse. (See the abolishing of the death penalty for starters.)
In fact these countries are far greater than ours because they still have respect amongst its peoples. Crime exists there still, we are human afterall and human beings are fond of abusing each other, but they do not have such a wilful disregard toward each other as us. I doubt teenagers are getting their brains fried on pills and white cider in Korea. Or roaming about in gangs in some pathetic attempt to live a 'thug life' like they were in Downtown Los Angeles.


Jail time in Thailand

How on earth some people in the UK and Europe have the gall to condemn these countries for things such as their dietry habits never ceases to amaze me. Or make me spit nails. Excuse me, never mind about a poxy pooch going into the cooking pot, look at what we have become here! There are savages on the planet but they don't live in the East.
We are too forgiving, too lenient and way too trusting, especially when it comes to persistent wrong doers. Some have this weakness, and it is a weakness, telling them that everyone is able to change their ways and develop into something useful in society but this is rubbish anf those who believe it are kidding themselves. Not only that but they are being conned by those they take pity on.
Prisons in the UK are a joke and sentences are always served in comfort. I am not saying to return to the days of bread, water and hay beds but what inmates have now is too much.
I always thought that while in jail, criminals should use the time to reflect on their crimes and adjust their behaviour but when they are occupied with satelite television, videogames and other delights, it gives little time for any thought of remorse. Our moral structure has collapsed and the joke about patients running the asylum has become very true. We do need change, only not the sort the yoghurt knitters wish for.

Recipe From A Gig

The things you pick up backstage at a music gig; best way to cut pizza, safest way to use a knife to open wine bottles, best 'herbal' pills to take and er....cooking recipes! Like this.

Rabbit with Lemon Thyme

Ingredients ~

2 Rabbits, jointed
1 Medium onion, peeled and chopped
4 Parsnips, peeled and cut into batons
6 Rashers of streaky bacon, cut into lardons
2 Tablespoons of Olive oil
Bunch of Lemon Thyme
Salt and pepper
2 Tablespoons of butter
1 Tablespoon of flour
2 Glasses of a GOOD dry wine
1 pt stock

How to whip it all together in rabbity lovliness ~

Marinade the bunny joints in the oil, salt and pepper, lemon thyme and wine for at least two hours (overnight is even cooler). Heat the butter in a ovenproof casserole dish and fry the bunny joints until nicely browned up. Remove and set aside. Next fry the onions, bacon and parsnips. Add the flour and then the marinade and some stock to make a sauce.
Return the bunnykins to the casserole and check the seasoning. Pop in the oven 150c/gas 4 for two hours. Serve with maybe some bubble and squeak and voila! Grub is up.

A Golden Couple Reunited

Forty minutes ago the news came through Texas radio station WBAP that Elizabeth Taylor had passed away. Other news outlets were slow to pick up on it and at first I thought I had hallucinated it, but no, the sad story appeared in the Los Angeles Times. And so it is that another true star has been snuffed out and left the world an even darker place.


Golden couple

It is fair to say, no other couple were more glamorous or talented than Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. They truly made the cameras come alive and bristle with electricity.
I do not follow the lives of celebrities but Elizabeth Taylor was so much more than mere celebrity. She was that rare thing, an actress which possessed stardust that put her way, way above the likes of young actresses of today.
Rest in peace dear lady, I hope that Richard is waiting for you.

Ape Force

The original idea behind the Dai Jake's Book was to have a place to think out loud, a place to throw zany ideas at the page to see what would stick. See if any of them had legs kind of thing. This post will be doing just that.
Now I have made no secret of the fact that I dislike dogs, (im more of a pet raccoon type of guy) and I got to wondering what animal we could train to replace working dogs for the police and such. After a few ridiculous (but cool) ideas such as Great White sharks helping the coastguard and using chameleons for stealth gigs I came upon an idea that could actually work; gorillas in the police force and security companies.


Hmm....do I have to wear the uniform?

Dogs might be man's best friend (I disagree) but apes are man's closest living relatives after the chimpanzee and share between 95% to 99% of our DNA, so its the natural choice really. Heck we wouldn't even need huge alterations to uniforms! Im sure gorillas can be trained to a higher standard than dogs. And the pooch can't swing a baton or carry a riot shield.
Are dogs really that frightening? It might just be me of course but if I was a burglar, seeing a Doberman patrolling the grounds wouldn't put me off. Spotting a few gorillas hanging around wearing combat pants and bullet belts most definately would. Think about those badass gorillas that were in Planet of the Apes, the ones in leather jackets. They would be much more effective than the average pooch.
They could even be employed in the prison service as the ultimate riot control squad, even the toughest convict would never be able to take on a 400 pound gorilla. An awesome deterrant force, not only in jails but walking the streets when bars and pubs are closing and the drunken take-on-the-world crowd are out trying to pick fights. Yeah I can see that happening if my idea was a reality!
You the more I think about it, the more great this sounds.

Schedule

Warning: Can Cause Frustration

Mouth abscesses are miserable and painful things, and one of them decided to haunt my mouth earlier this week, so off I went to the supermarket to get a packet of Co~codamol tablets which contain 8mg of the lovely codeiene and 500mg of the rather boring paracetamol. Needs must and a few aspirin just wasn't going to give me the relief from pain that I so desperately craved.
Mission accomplished I headed home and it was there that I noticed something I have never noticed before. (Or I have but don't remember it.) On the box was stamped ~ Can cause addiction and For three days use only. See photo below.


Watch out! Nanny's been about!

When on earth did this start happening? And is it really necessary? Okay some people are idiots and need to have things spelt out for them, I understand that but for a fairly intelligent and sensible (mostly) man like myself, reading this made me feel a kind of despair. Like we are all bozos who need to be guided through Life by governments and watchdogs like chimps or circus seals.
I find it quite insulting that we cannot be trusted. Granted there are certain sections of society who prove not everyone is blessed with wisdom but its offensive to suggest that everyone is an imbecile, hellbent on killing himself through ignorance.
And why aren't these warnings on other, stronger drugs? In my time I have been prescribed some pretty addictive substances such as benzodiazepines (valium, mogadon, temazepam, etc) but there are no warnings on them. Why? Seems to me these so called 'health watchdogs,' or whoever puts this soppy advice on tablet boxes are only there to cause frustration and resentment. If you need these things to help you then God save us all!
Also while im on this topic, why can I buy only two packets of paracetamol in most chemists and shops? Thats not going to prevent suicides if thats the aim. I'll just go to a bunch of shops and stockpile the darned things. Easily done too, especially when these 'pound' shops are seemingly exempt from this rule and are able to sell three or four packets for £1.
Ironic isn't it? I bought these pills to escape from pain and the damned wrapping they come in has given me the biggest headache going.

Saturday Nights Alright For....?

So the weekend has come around again on its seemingly endless endeavour to get the nation pissed. Its saturday and not just any old saturday but one where a Welsh rugby international against the Irish has just taken place and we WON. (19 ~ 13 if you're interested.) So why am I here wittling away at another virtual wood carving on some dusty corner of the internet, instead of bathing (almost literally) in my favourite alcoholic beverage? Okay i'll admit I could be sitting here, merrily typing away with a snifter of scotch at my side but trust me, im not. Its been tea only.
So what has come over me? Why is this normally on~his~sixth~pint~by~now guy, sitting in virtual darkness after a Welsh win in the rugger and content with cups of tea? Have I had a 'moment of clarity' as the A.A. bores would say? Or have I suffered a 'gwedd newidiad' (divine change) as my grandmother would have put it? Well a firm NO is the answer, much to the frustration of my doctor should she ever read this. Now to make this pretty dull sounding announcement sound a leeetle bit more interesting, I am in fact in the middle of an experiment (cue a big 'Ooooh!' from my dear readers.)

Please God! Let it end...

Oh im not mixing chemicals in the hope of discovering some nefarious, trippy substance and neither am I attempting some rustic form of alchemy in the faint hope of creating gold. Nothing so exciting im afraid. No, what I am trying to do is find out if a saturday, and rugby international saturday to boot (pun intended,) can be enjoyed if one remains completely SOBER.
I admit this may not sound like a big challenge to normal people (although tell me what is 'normal' these days) but to me, the type of guy who doesn't merely like a few drinks but loves guzzling GALLONS of the stuff almost nightly, it IS a big deal. Im not alcoholic (and no smart ass better say 'yet') because im happy, or happy~ish, sticking with herbal tea but I do so LOVE getting sozzled. Plowed. Shamboozled. Pickled. Seven sheets to the wind.
So how was it? Well lets be straight, up until 3pm I was fine but I figured I would be as I dont usually begin drinking 'til after 6pm anyway, so no trouble there. While the clock slowly (REALLY slowly) ticked off the minutes however, AFTER 3pm I found my mind wondering how good beginning the blotto journey would be. And seeing crowds clutching pint glasses in the coverage of the Italy v France game didn't do me any favours. Strange how a minute BEFORE 3pm my mind was thinking about new poetry ideas, then suddenly WHAM! Almost a second past 3pm and my thoughts had strayed into fields of bottles and pretty wine glasses where damsels skipped half naked and all of them after me.
I wasn't OBSSESSING over booze before any wannabe shrink starts getting ideas above their station, I was simply fancying one. Well ten. I was happy with the tea of course but it wasn't growing my c**k if you get my meaning. And after the Italians beat the French in a suprising but well deserved win, it was around 4:30pm and oh how I wished I was in Rome! The food! The celebrations! The history! The beer! Yes it was becoming a near constant thought by now and I was shocked at how much we Brits (because its NOT just ME) have associated the weekends with getting blitzed! To some of us, those who still have hungers, desires and fire in their guts, a sober saturday is like spending a week in the best orgy that ever was without genitals. We have conditioned ourselves to getting absolutely, sh!t searingly (sh!t searingly?) toasted on a saturday.
Needless to say I spent the entire Wales v Ireland match with half my mind wishing it was sunday when normal service would resume. Now here it must be said again (because armchair psycholgists are such stubborn creatures) that I wasn't curled up in the foetal position, sweating buckets and seeing pink elephants. I hadn't had a drink in days and was in fact enjoying alternating between the blackcurrant squash and teas but geez my heart was aching for a pint. (Its okay for hearts to yearn for a drink, its when the soul begins the same habits one has cause to start to worry.)
Wales won due to some luck but every team needs luck now and then, so that was great. I would have hated trying to drown my sorrows on chamomile tea. Come 7pm my tongue (and no doubt liver) was really starting to feel dry and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was wasting a day. Again I dont think im alone in feeling this way as most people (the fiery types I mentioned earlier) are like bowels without sh!t when they spend saturday dry. And Wales WON and someone is still abstaining! Perish the thought! At times we are so much similar to machines in our behaviour, needing most things to come in routine and order. We are frightened of abandoning all plans and leaving life to the perils of chance. Weekends are proof of this.

Pages of Destruction

The world awoke today to terrible news of an 8.9 earthquake hitting Japan which set off a massive tsunami, killing hundreds and causing diabolical damage. As I wayched the footage from numerous media sources, it seemed a disaster of almost biblical proportions.
There are floods and fires, the shutting down of airports and transportt systems. I heard somewhere that up to 300 bodies have been disccovered on a beach in Sendai, on the northeast Pacific coast with another 100 confirmed dead elsewhere.


Grim scenes of destruction

Obviously its still way too early to know the exact figures, as rescue services from all across the world have only just been deployed but as I watched the video footage of giant whirlpools and mega waves sweeping cars and building away like they were childrens toys, it brought home the understanding of how easily mother nature could destroy us all if she so wished. For instance the tidal waves have even reached the U.S shores of Oregon! Mankind is at her utter mercy and there wouldn't be a damned thing we could do if she decided to crush us all in one foul swoop.
It also makes one realise how little a grasp we mere mortals have on the bigger picture when you watch disasters played out in the movies. The film versions seem almost childish when compared to the real thing.
Looking through the online pages of destruction made me feel even more vulnerable, even more fragile. And all I can think of is those poor people, thousands of lives instantly shattered. So so awful and tragic and my heart goes out to each and every one affected by this disaster.

Shakespeare Is Everywhere

Anyone who knows me will know that one of my catchphrases could be 'I don't watch much television!' and its true I dont but im a huge fan of Sons Of Anarchy. Im also a big fan of the Bard, Shakespeare and ive been thinking (while impatiently waiting for season three on blu ray,) has anyone else noticed the allegorical connection this fab television series has with Hamlet?
Think about it ~
Jax is Hamlet
Clay is Claudius, King of Denmark
and Gemma is of course Gertrude, Queen of Denmark and mother to Hamlet.

Fits perfectly!

Diamond Spirit

The bath is where I usually come up with some of my finest poems and ideas for other scribblings. As I wash off old dirt, the bones of finished works, fresh things come to me, seemingly attracted to my newly scrubbed body. (To a writer it can never be simply a bath *grin*)
And here is another one. There are too many selfish souls in this world, and too many wicked ones as well, so together with Lady Luck I am going to make the place a happier one for those near me. "How?" I hear you ask. Simple. If (and I realise its a BIG if) I were to ever win the lottery, and depending on the amount of course, them im going to spread the wealth with some Facebook friends by paying off their mortgages or something.


Not always the route of all evil

Now obviously with over a 100 friends (how did I get that many?) the lottery isn't big enough to do it for everyone but id figure it out. Perhaps hold a Facebook lottery of my own?
Why would I do this? Well because I happen to enjoy making people happy, simple as that. I have always preferred giving over receiving. It gives me a buzz. That and the fact that im a poet before all else and we are simple creatures where pleasures are concerned. (But very complicated in other matters, just ask my better half.)
If ever I won say £20m then keeping it all to myself would not make me happy, and a lot of my closest family are in better pastures, so this is the only logical thing to do. And I would hold a giant Facebook party because that way I could include everyone.
So there you have it. This article can be my bond. Im quite lucky too as a rule so you never know. My life has been pretty eventful so far.

Happy St David's Day

Dydd Gwyl Dewi Sant hapus I pawb! Happy St David's Day to everyone!
Yes its that day again where I thank the Lord I was born Welsh! I do give daily thanks for this to be honest but today is such a special day. Forget about sex, drugs and rock and roll, today is all about cawl, leeks and cwrw!
As I tap this blog out im sitting in my Welsh rugby jersey and red dragon beanie cap, looking out at the lush green countryside that Cymru is famous for and I feel my heart and soul swelling like cockles in the frying pan.
Puts me in mind of the poem Armes Prydain which was written sometime in the early to mid-tenth century AD. In it the unknown poet says that the Cymry (the Welsh people) will unite and join an alliance of fellow-Celts to crush and repel those foul Anglo-Saxons, under the banner of St David. A lluman glân Dewi a ddyrchafant! (And they will raise the pure banner of Dewi!)
Duw I can feel the stirring in my blood!


Never prouder to be Welsh

All of these make me glad to be alive ~ Owain Glyndwr, Grav, Tom Jones, winning the Grandslam, Barry John, Dafydd Iwan, Felinfoel ale, Grandslam film, Eisteddfods, lovespoons, Ryan a Ronnie, Brecon Beacons, Tenby, Penclawdd cockles, Steven Francis poetry, Swansea market, T Llew Jones, Pembrokeshire, S4C, Laverbread, Max Boyce, Stradey Park, Richard Burton, Haverfordwest, Solva, Pembroke castle, Carew market, Welsh cakes, Calon Lan, and rugby.

I will not hide.
My Welsh race
I will not disgrace.
My Welsh blood
flows hot and true,
my Welsh people
I will stand by you.
Through thick and thin
until the day we die,
our Welsh flag
will fly up high!

I hope everyone is filled to the gills with cawl and cwrw (beer) and is now cwtching up to watch Max Boyce ~ Live In Treorchy....Again on the telly.
Dydd Gwyl Dewi Sant pawb!