Squirrel Pasties Are Go!

An article in Wales Online has announced that Traeth Restaurant in New Quay are offering grey squirrel pasties to customers. The snack is served with roast, chopped hazelnuts, oak leaf lettuce and blackberries and im glad to read that its fast become a favourite.
Why glad? Well for one its nice to see that sense of adventure hasn't been lost in some people, and im not surrounded by simple folk who stick to beans on toast and tea. There are those types of course but they are in their own hell.
Secondly these types of 'game meats' are extremely healthy (and tasty). Squirrel and rabbit are low in fat, a much healthier option than beef and when I think that people eat sh!t like Pot Noodles and fast food (no names mentoned of course but you know who they are) but turn their noses up at fluffy bunnies I really must laugh. So you won't eat Tufty but you are quite willing to poison yourself with crisps and processed cheese?
I think most of the revulsion stems from looking at the fur. Common mistake but if you saw the animal skinned and jointed it looks the same as pork joints. And you eat pork so whats the fuss? You don't flee from the butchers stand in horror do you?


A tasty nibble

Does not the lamb, bouncing merrily in the field in all its buttercuppy innocence, not look cute to you? It can't do because nobody (sane) would turn away a roast lamb dinner, and this is eaten every sunday by thousands of Brits. If people are able to remove the picture of the happy lamb from their minds to be able to plough through a traditional roast dinner, why can't they do the same with squirrels?
As for the comment "its like eating rats", well quite frankly thats completely idiotic. Look at a chicken coop some day, they aren't the cleanest of places let me tell you, and they are not the cleanest species of birds either. Yet the amount of chickens eaten every day is in its millions. Don't get me started with the popular chicken nuggets that teenagers (and lazy adults) seem to exist on. Its not chicken (well not the good parts of it) and the joke is definately on you!
Im tired of typing this but please, for the sake of your tastebuds if nothng else, put down that greasy, sorry mess of a supermarket pizza and try a squirrel pastie instead.

God Speaks Out From A Blog

I wish, pray to this blog that God, or the author of this blog will do something before the time is up. Go comfort the mortals, or pat them on the head or something before they lose their minds. The reason for war? The reason for beer? The reason for ripping your shirt off sex with anyone? The flock is lost, lost I tell thee!
If God would drop us a holy note and tell us the afterlife was simples, I truly believe that peace on mortal souls would be granted to us in an instant. A Big Mac instant.

Word Salad

In this day of text messages and Twitter, does the ability to spell and use good grammar count for anything? Did you know pupils are NOT marked down for incorrect spelling and grammar in english language exams? (Next year they will be im told). Who on earth would be in favour of bad spelling/grammar? I realise we all make mistakes and everything I throw on this screen will not always be word perfect but I do try. This 'text speak' annoys me quite a bit (probably more than it ought to) and I tend to ignore it when I see it.
If someone were to send me an email full of 'grt, scwl, lyk, lol' it would get instantly deleted because more than anything it tells me the author is lazy and unimaginative and I don't have time for those types im afraid.
Yes the way we speak/write does change and evolve over the years, for instance Shakespeare wrote differently from the way we do now but this whole buisness of shortening words is a very poor show. In a word it is shabby. And where does it end? There has to be a certain degree of discipline or else the language will descend into drivel with people spelling however they feel like on a particular day.
Personally I look at those who use 'text speak' in a similar way I look at cheap clothes, and I don't care how snooty that makes me look. At least im being honest.

Shopping In 1971

In 1971 your shopping cost ~

Petrol 7.5p litre
Large white sliced loaf 10.5p
Bottle of Scotch £3.08p
Colour tv licence £12
(The b/w licence was abolished like the colour one should be too).
Average house price £5,970
Mars bar 4p
Prescription charge 20p (since been abolished in Wales).
Cinema ticket 40p
Pint of beer 12p

Average weekly wage for full time workers:

Men £32.90
Women £18.30

The Back No Longer Broken

Way back in lets say 1985 (its as accurate as I wish or can be), I loved camping. I used to get rollercoaster thrills just thinking about planning a trip in the countryside and would spend days simply getting stuck into survival lists and learning how to trap rabbits and flat fish. Alas these beasts might have been unicorns or dewfish for they were never near to my calloused and often scabby fingers. (By the way 'dewfish' is something I made up and exists not in our Creators godly land).
When my friends and I got to our spot in the forest (we usually opted for the cover of trees over open land) it was pure nature and wildlife; torn bark on trees, dead rabbits, fox droppings and the beautiful scent of wild berries. The closest we got to modern life was a few lighters to get the fire going, not even bothering with camping stoves.


Camping: never forget your pipe

These days however, going camping and sleeping under the stars is a little different. Make that a LOT different. In fact we are hardly sleeping in the great outdoors anymore because we have taken the indoors out. The internet, mobile phones with countless handy applications, television, iPods, laptops, cameras, everything people have for entertainment at home can now be taken on a camping expedition. We even have satelite navigation in the car to find us the perfect spot!
Back in my day all we had for entertainment was what mother nature provided for us; rivers to fish in,giant oaks to climb on, brambles to shred clothes. Our only entertainment was feeding the fire with wood, alcohol, a portable radio and books. That was it really, apart from the 'fun' of finding your way back to the tent after a late night trip to the bushes for a pee. Now I can take every classic novel ever written with me, along with my entire record collection. I have even seen mobile satellite dishes so campers can tune into their favourite television series while skinning their freshly caught rabbit. Or more likely tucking into a freshly cooked lasagna, nuked in the mobile microwave.
Its hardly survival and I personally think that having all these modern devices on a camping trip ruins the fun. When everything is to hand there is no pleasure or excitement in having it. I admit we carried lighters but certainly a camp fire made with the age old method of rubbing sticks together is infinately more satisfying. And speaking of fire, this should be the ONLY source of light. Seeing the glow of tv and computer screens is just plain wrong when you are out in the bush as our Australian friends would say. Have we become so dependent on 24 hour news and social networking websites that we cannot escape their clutches even for a few days camping? Have we become so lazy that fish bought in Morrisons is preferable to ones caught fresh? Of course we have. The things we had originally for convenience have overtaken us, swallowed us whole and robbed a lot of us of adventure.
Mobile phones are a good idea to have if you intend trekking to desolate, often dangerous parts of the world, or if your children decide to camp out on the beach like I used to do. Phones are useful and can be a lifesaver, but do people really need all the rest of it? The kindles, iPods and satelite dishes? Afterall camping is supposed to be getting you away from it all, not bringing it all with you like a bleeping and pinging ball and chain. We have become our own prisoners, trapped almost in a cold digital world where nobody really cares and nobody is really your friend.
When I next go pitch my tent in Newgale or Freshwater East in beautiful Pembrokeshire, im leaving the keyboards and clicks behind and going naked. It feels good to be free from the internet umbilical cord. Try it.

Rest In Peace Brother

Jani onstage

Sad to hear about ex Warrant singer Jani Lane's passing a little earlier. Apparantly Jani was found dead next to vodka and pills. I am a huge metal fan, and love all the genres from glam to death metal and Warrant were a great little rock outfit back in the day.
I remember when Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich came out in 1989 and being very impressed with the tunes on it.Of course there was little MTV in those days (music vids were only just emerging) so these bands, especially in the metal genre had to rely on good songs and even better to gigs to grab peoples attention. Jani Lane and crew did exactly that to me and many, many others.
When Cherry Pie was released in the following year (1990) my tight fit panted friends and I would be rocking out to it as the beers and good times rolled like they were never gonna end. F**king epic times! Rest In Peace Jani, you were one of the bubbles in a glass of memories in my head that will never lose its fizz or sparkle.

Don't Fear the Pepper

Last orders

The most popular soft drink (no hard stuff permitted) chosen by condemned inmates in the United States is Dr Pepper. A drink funnily enough concoted in the 1880s by a guy (Charles Alderton) in Texas, the countries most active death penalty state.
I wonder what it is about the drink? Is it the unusual taste the inmates love? Or does it ring the old memory bells taking them back to childhood and to happier times? Id go with the latter although I would have imagined Coke or Pepsi to have been more popular.
Anyway whatever the reason, this quirky fact brought to you from the grim belly of death row, is the reason the Dai Jakes Book exists. Something a normal person wouldn't be thinking of, but now that you have learnt it, you are happy you did.

Poison Idea

Bow to them

There is no escaping the fact that Poison Idea were big. Not in commercial terms, obviously, but in life, death, music and influence they were truly massive. Formed in Portland, Oregon in 1980 by frontman Jerry A the band seemed to get progessively more dangerous as they went along, almost deliberately pushing a lifestyle to its ultimate limits just to see what would break it. In a game of 'let's see who's the more punk' Jerry A once pointed a loaded gun at Dwarves singer Blag Dahlia and when guitarist Pig Champion died aged 47 this year it was a great loss of talent, but no great suprise.
But while Jerry A frequently breathed fire or sliced his head open onstage with broken glass, he also wrote lyrics that could rival Charles Buckowski in their beautiful ugliness, stark realism and savage honesty. And despite their seeming indolence and over-the-top drink/drug consumption Poison Idea were phenomenal musicians, capable of playing faster and tighter than any of their peers even when they couldn't stand up.
Their fans include Nirvana, Amen, Pearl Jam, Pantera, Machine Head, Turbonegro...and you if you've got any sense.

*This was an article in Kerrang! magazine a few years ago.

Chaos Reigns

If you haven't been on another planet for the last week, you will be aware of the rioting and looting that has taken place in Britain since sunday. It started in North London over the shooting of a youth by police, but has since spread to Birmingham, Liverpool. And its getting out of control now. Even as I type there are live reports of thugs weilding wooden batons moving down a road in Croydon and residents must be absolutely terrified. It started with a peaceful protest but as is the way of these things, it got hijacked by the lawless yobs with a grudge against society for whatever reason, and has descended into three nights of utter mayhem. Police cells in the capital city are now full and police resources are stretched like never before in history. There are also talks of plastic bullets being issued as the prime minister vows to put 16,000 officers on London's streets this evening.


Welcome to Britain

Is this one of the downfalls of living in a liberal democracy? Or is it the result of a frustrated youth? One things for certain there has been a complete breakdown of authority, and these yobs have no respect for that authority. And why should they? When these hooligans are tracked down and hauled before the courts, very few will see the inside of a prison cell. (And if they do it won't be for long). Which will be another kick in the teeth for the poor shopkeepers, many of whom will lose their livelihoods as a result of this chaos. We in mainland Britain foolishly don't have water canons at our disposal and I hope this changes soon, or burning cities will be popping up from Land's End to John O' Groats. Its little use having policemen holding riot shields and standing in formation while all around them, feral teenagers are running amok, looting from shops and doing God knows what else. Its the softly softly approach to criminals that has started the rot. When will the namby pamby do gooders learn that dishing out soft sentences will not 'reform' those dedicated to criminal and violent behaviour. Online newspapers are filled with pictures and videos of looters breaking into electrical and sports stores and making off with training shoes and plasma televisions, while in the background flames lick around buildings and burnt out shells of buses sit like studs of anarchy. And the vandals responsible ought to be rounded up and flogged. Then they should be forced to clean up the mess whilst linked to a chain gang.

Feeling Waspy, A Love for Wasps

A wise wasp last night

Why do folk run about like meerkats whenever a wasp enters the room? One of the stinging darlings has just flown in through an open window where I peck out these words and he/she is an amazing sight which brings a smile to my often miserable chops. I feel totally safe and have no urge to leap around like a demented baboon trying to open a gerkin jar.
They get a thoroughly bad press and have a reputation of being aggressive and bad tempered but ive seen little evidnce of this. Perhaps its because I remain calm around them, and they only get all stingy on your ass if you run around? It would tick me off too if whenever I showed up, people suddenly went mental. Think of the wasps feelings people!
Also they have the coolest colours, even better than the tiger. Actually thats what they are, flying tigers out for a buzz about before tracking down some sweet sherry. Or perhaps mead. I love them and could never bring myself to treat them like I do flies and swat them all over the shop. No, a wasp has a regal quality about it. Something that ought to be respected and admired, not shunned and stamped on.

Cariad Coch (Red Love)

Welsh and beautiful

As a passionate Welshman who loves women (not in a pervy way honest), I got to wondering who would be a great example of typical Welsh beauty. It wasn't that easy because all Welsh women are fabulous looking and I could have gone the easy route and picked someone like Katherine Jenkins but that would have been too obvious. And I hate obvious.
So my vote goes to actress Sue Roderick. Most will only know her from playing Lucy Cartwright in Twin Town but she's appeared in Welsh soap opera Pobl Y Cwm and the fantastic Welsh language comedy series Licoris Olsorts.

Francis' Folly for Harder Candy

Valium?

I would be lying if I said I ordered these Valium to write a piece of investigative journalism. It would be utter bull droppings. No, I sought them out over the interwebz and bought them because I like Valium. I like most pills of this kind. I make no excuses over it, and use them as I do alcohol.
Over the past few decades I have been prescribed quite a few benzodiazepines for various reasons and I got to enjoy them. Lots.
So what is one of the first things I did when I got hooked up to the interwebz? Look for porn sure, but the next thing I went surfing for was Valium. Im blissfully incorrigible and looked at the internet as my personal debauched playground, filled with XXX Candy and other things you wouldn't want your dear old Mum finding out.
Two countries that stood out in their sales of 'downers' (benzos) were China and Mexico, and as the latter were cheaper, I opted to go Mexicana, chico. (Who's Chico?) I knew there was danger of fraud before I popped my credit card details in but alas $40 for 100 tablets was to great a temptation for the Pill Monster inside and so I ordered away, already excited by the Vailum buzzing that awaited.
They took around 5 weeks to finally arrive (I admit I was getting jumpy after the third week, believing I had been conned) and when they did I was slighty under awed by the rubbish packaging which you can see for yourselves in the photos. I was expecting something a little more 'medical' looking and less amateurish. Still it was the high I was after and as soon as I opened them I swallowed 5. Nothing. 5 more. Still nada so I opened a beer to bring on the buzz. To cut a long story short I kept drinking and popping but depressingly I only felt the alcohol buzz. (Didn't stop me taking the entire 100 packet in 3 days mind).


Or laxatives?

After that bitter disappointment any right thinking individual would have put the experience down to having tried but bad luck and scrapped the idea of getting Valium online, but thinking rightly has never been my way (sometimes for both good and bad) so I found another pharmacist in Mexico and ordered another 100.
Now here is where I would liked to have written second time lucky but this batch of 'diazepam' were exactly the same duds as the previous pills. And yet I still took the whole packet, just as before! Like I said, incorrigible.
To add insult to injury, this 'chemist' also tried to take more money off my card after the charge for the crappy tablets so there was the hindrance of getting hold of the bank (have you tried that in this day and age?) and changing all of my details. A good thing however as I started to learn my lesson by then.
Looking back (this all happened in 2007) I can't believe how wreckless I was in handing over my credit card so easily, and taking 200 unknown pills. (Although having been a regular pill popper over the years I regard this as an occupational hazard.)
So my advice to anyone else thinking of getting their buzz on via this route would be forget it. Yes there might be legit pharmacists online who have the real deal medicines but there are too many cowboys and pirates who have also set their stalls out to be able to safely take the risk.

Poltergames

Missing since 31st September

On the sunday morning just gone I was relaxing after a good night on the grog with a game of Tee Off (golf) on my Dreamcast console. The title is not a particularly amazing one but its part of my treasured games collection and in my opinion it has the right balance of difficulty for a golf game. But now its gone, having seemingly disappeared forever into the ether. Wedi mynd as we say in Welsh. Done a runner as the street kids say.
To be honest its quite frightening as there is no place for it to gone to. You see I am lucky enough to have a games room which is soley used to play videogames in. We don't eat in this room, or watch movies. Theres no seating save a giant beanbag because this it is a place dedicated to games. And as a keen gamer and a fussy collector I rarely take any of the hundreds of titles out of this room. It is my inner sanctum where I go to escape back into a time long gone and head for a different world.
Which is where I fear Tee Off has disappeared to. I have looked in every corner, inched along the skirting board like sozzled woodlouse but to no avail. There is no golf game to be found and its beginning to frustrate the bacon out of me. Where the fudge can it be?? I have checked other rooms on the offchance I broke my golden rule of never taking things out of my digital den but nada. Its gone like Shergar.
Could it be ghosts? This is the only rational explanation I can arrive at. Ive read of mischeivous poltergeists moving peoples belongings around (there are plenty of these stories in Welsh legends) and this must have been the fate of Tee Off. I keep a tight check on my ever growing games collection and these little gems never go AWOL on my watch. Pesky ghosts.

Wheel Out The Tyburn Tree

One of the vile vermin (I cant bring myself to call him a 'man') who was involved with the death of Baby P will be released on Friday it has been reported, and to add insult to this tragedy the b@astard will be given a new identity and more than likey plastic surgery to keep him safe from a rightfully angry mob.
How do I feel about this? Well being as im firmly in the Pro Death Penalty camp (you can find me posting under the screen name The Broker on ProDeathPenalty .com) I am absolutely fuming.
As anger is a great emotion to sculpt thoughts I will say exactly what I said on Facebook when I heard this news; that precious baby's killers should all be hanged at the Tyburn gallows (it could support triple hangings). There is no rehabilitation for scum who leave over 50 injuries including a snapped spine on a child. There is no change or reform; only death could ever be punishment enough. The hanging, drawing & quartering type. FREE? This is the reflection of a sick society indeed.
A common saying with the anti mob are "dont kill in my name." Well dont free them in my name either. Im certainly not part of this illness which has gripped the UK and Europe. Giving murderers a second chance? Its madness and will end in tears.


The Tyburn Tree could hang multiple inmates

This is what happens when a country foolishly abolishes the death penalty. Other sentences like life in prison get lowered because in scrapping capital punishment, we are almost saying that murder isn't so bad afterall. The less sentences criminals recieve, the less harm the public believe has been done. And its wrong. Not only wrong but wholly disgusting.
These evil swines (and im being unfair to pigs there) should never be seeing the light of day again! Hell at the very least they ought to be on a secure ward in Broadmoor until the end of their wretched days. They brutally murdered a child and they deserve freedom??! You sick, sick kitties.
The general public will be fetching the scythes and burning torches over this and good for them. This will do grave harm to society because when authorities are prepared to let sadistic child killers go unpunished (and with those type of sentences they did go unpunished), then respect for our judicial system flies out the court window.
This poor baby was let down by his 'parents' (and it galls me to call them that) and now Baby Peter has been let down by justice. Throughout his cruelly short life, everything was stacked against him and there was no hope. Even the law of the land mocks him, as it does with every victim of crime. No smarmy words from politicians and do-gooders could ever convince the public otherwise.
Great Britain? Criminal Britain more like. A land where causing over 50 injuries to a young child and eventually causing his death will earn you a three year prison term.
And to all those against capital punishment; I would rather have the death of one innocent executed on my conscience, than the deaths of many children.

Hitting The Big Four O

In 22 days God willing I will turn 40. I will be forty years old. Am I daunted by this? Am I running around like a headless chicken (headless chickens are cool), trying to somehow find a way to stop the relentless march of time? Well in a word, no. On the contrary I am looking forward to it like I would a triple cheese pizza delivered by Emily Deschanel wearing nothing but high heels.
My thirties were blighted by the deaths of close family members, and spells of addiction and desperate lows. In my early thirties I feared at times that I would lose myself and never find my way back. They were horrid, filled with nasty dramas and the further I get from them in years, the happier I feel.
The only bright periods were meeting She Who Must Be Obeyed and the arrival of my daughter at the end of last year. Oh and the times Ive spent in Ireland! The rest of the time from 29 to 40 can go to hell.


Emily ten minutes before the pizza turned up

Thirty for me was being inbetween the bell and the rainbow, or like being a novice cobweb. In other words I still felt (or feel) the giddy learner, groping at Life's seams. From 30 to 39 is plywood. At 20 I had acceleration, from 40 I'll have it with purpose. Bring it on with all its four decades of anticipated glory!
Most people are afraid of getting older but the fear really is an anathema to me. One must suffer a great deal with insecurity if they look at birthdays beyond 40 with dread. These days age is not like it was a hundred years ago due to the advances in medicine and different lifestyles in general.
And face it, 40 is hardly old age. If I were to flake out right now at this keyboard, it would be a young age I would have died at, regardless of how close I am to being 40. Also what about those poor souls who were unfortunate to not live long in this life? The children and teenagers. I find it insulting in the extreme when folk bemoan the fact they are getting older, when others didn't ever get the chance.
No, like I say, im looking forward to it and many drinks will be downed in celebration not sadness on August 23rd.

Religion Pigeons

Religion gives me a headache. Organised religion gives me a headache x100. And there is nothing worse than Christains and Muslims (or any other faiths) bickering online. I thought this faith stuff was all about peace and love? Theres precious little of either between these sheeple. (People + sheep, geddit?) All I see and hear are spiteful, bitchy remarks falling from the mouths of supposedly mature human beings.
"The Koran teaches to beat your wives and stone adulterers!" Sez the Christians. "Christians are all immoral boozers!" Chant the Muslims. While the Jews who not being as mouthy, stand around and wonder at the foolishness of it all. And im with them. If Heaven or Nirvana or wherever actually exists, I sincerely hope these folks aren't on the invite list. Too much Hate in them.
Im currently reading the Koran for my own interest and it has some beautiful passages in it (as does the Bible), I wish others would pick up a copy too. The ones who rubbish it while clearly never having read it.
One thing ive noticed is at least Islam is a religion that recognizes and respects Abraham, Moses and Jesus as wonderful prophets. A pity Christianity doesn't return the favour. And I have heard Muslims speak of Christ but the church however do not consider Muhammad as a prophet ever. Why? Some kind of spiritual insecurity?


Word!

I will probably get whiners for having written this in slight favour of the Koran but seeing as both books preach the same thing, I don't believe ive done any great harm. I have much admiration for any *insert chosen faith here* who go about their life in peace and without spiteful remarks toward other beliefs. To those who are offended by other religions then you need to reconsider your stance because it is a cold door that awaits you, and a very rough path beyond this one in Life.
Actually a fitting Afterlife for these narrowminded pew sitters and prayer mat botherers would be a giant, eternal childrens play park complete with Dunces hats and snidey angels.
Allāhu Akbar!