Kongle Flux

Router is dead at the moment for some techie reason (that is sadly beyond my skills) so im currently and most definately OFFLINE. Bugger. Also its that most dreaded of days; a sober sunday. Double bugger. Barman! I will have a glass of cyanide and a rope, and im counting on you to kick the chair from under me. Laughs Out Loud. Actually im not THAT bad (yet) but being without the interweb beast is certainly annoying. And its.....different. Like a made up word that sounds familiar but is totally nonsense. Let me think. Kongle Flux. Yes, thats it! Being offline is truly Kongle Flux.
Yes, yes im well aware we coped before the advent of WWW and its furry little dotcoms but now that its here, life when its not here seems emptier. And I know that sounds awfully tragic in a basement dweller type way but its true! Im not talking about updating Facebook statuses or Tweeting sports scores here either, I mean the convenience of researching dates and facts, or gathering intel for journeys such as the best routes, road closures, etc. Without the webby, I am at the mercy of radio and that horrible television when local news comes on. I feel cut off. Infertile even. Like a Buddhist without his chants. Or Barry John without his kicking togs.

*Fastforward 9 hours and its a pleasure to be back!

Wires In The Ether

I just found this online:

Should You Hire a Social Media Manager?
"Did you know you can also outsource your social media? There are people out there whose job is to handle other peoples’ social media marketing, saving them oodles of time on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, Constant Contact, you name it".

So this is it then. Evolve 2.0 The Modern Soul. The humble chat room has arisen into something that nobody can escape or ignore. (And please excuse me being overly dramatic here, its just my way). Some internet users a few years ago claimed they would never sign up to socila media sites but now it would seem they will have to. Or miss out.
And those note yet 'webbed up' are unaware of the monster that lurks in the wings. It will come for them too, as surely as the microwave nudged the oven onto the subs bench.
If we are so 'internet minded' that people are suggesting we hire 'social media managers' then the wires have truly gotten under our human skin.

Francis' Folly for Harder Candy

Valium?

I would be lying if I said I ordered these Valium to write a piece of investigative journalism. It would be utter bull droppings. No, I sought them out over the interwebz and bought them because I like Valium. I like most pills of this kind. I make no excuses over it, and use them as I do alcohol.
Over the past few decades I have been prescribed quite a few benzodiazepines for various reasons and I got to enjoy them. Lots.
So what is one of the first things I did when I got hooked up to the interwebz? Look for porn sure, but the next thing I went surfing for was Valium. Im blissfully incorrigible and looked at the internet as my personal debauched playground, filled with XXX Candy and other things you wouldn't want your dear old Mum finding out.
Two countries that stood out in their sales of 'downers' (benzos) were China and Mexico, and as the latter were cheaper, I opted to go Mexicana, chico. (Who's Chico?) I knew there was danger of fraud before I popped my credit card details in but alas $40 for 100 tablets was to great a temptation for the Pill Monster inside and so I ordered away, already excited by the Vailum buzzing that awaited.
They took around 5 weeks to finally arrive (I admit I was getting jumpy after the third week, believing I had been conned) and when they did I was slighty under awed by the rubbish packaging which you can see for yourselves in the photos. I was expecting something a little more 'medical' looking and less amateurish. Still it was the high I was after and as soon as I opened them I swallowed 5. Nothing. 5 more. Still nada so I opened a beer to bring on the buzz. To cut a long story short I kept drinking and popping but depressingly I only felt the alcohol buzz. (Didn't stop me taking the entire 100 packet in 3 days mind).


Or laxatives?

After that bitter disappointment any right thinking individual would have put the experience down to having tried but bad luck and scrapped the idea of getting Valium online, but thinking rightly has never been my way (sometimes for both good and bad) so I found another pharmacist in Mexico and ordered another 100.
Now here is where I would liked to have written second time lucky but this batch of 'diazepam' were exactly the same duds as the previous pills. And yet I still took the whole packet, just as before! Like I said, incorrigible.
To add insult to injury, this 'chemist' also tried to take more money off my card after the charge for the crappy tablets so there was the hindrance of getting hold of the bank (have you tried that in this day and age?) and changing all of my details. A good thing however as I started to learn my lesson by then.
Looking back (this all happened in 2007) I can't believe how wreckless I was in handing over my credit card so easily, and taking 200 unknown pills. (Although having been a regular pill popper over the years I regard this as an occupational hazard.)
So my advice to anyone else thinking of getting their buzz on via this route would be forget it. Yes there might be legit pharmacists online who have the real deal medicines but there are too many cowboys and pirates who have also set their stalls out to be able to safely take the risk.