Egg On Beard

Th new beard dye didnt catch on

Beards and food. How I love both but sadly they don't love each other. Or maybe they do and thats why they insist on sticking to each other like a furry symbiote, fusing to a body (and yes I read too much Spiderman/Venom stories.)
Pies and eggs are the worst in my opinion. (Others will say soup but ive not experienced the soupy beard strainer myself.) If ever I fancy a fried egg sarnie, like I did earlier, then I can almost guarantee to be tasting egg an hour after ive eaten it. Burgers with the works can prove a whiskery minefield as well with onions, grease, ketchup and mustard making a good beard seem like a wild almost edible Christmas tree.
But you know, some women (the good bad kind) dig this so don't be hasty in grabbing that razor. Never trust a man without facial fungus! And trust less the ones who grow goatees which look a bit like fluff stuck to the chin.

Bacon & Egg Tarts

Here is a delightful little recipe I picked up from the family somewhere down the line. It includes two of my favourite foods: bacon and eggs. Win!

Bacon & Egg Tarts

Stuff you'll need ~

375g (12oz) of packet ready~rolled shortcrust pastry.

8 rashers (200g/7oz) Smoked or unsmoked finest back bacon.

1 small red onion, finely diced.

1 tablespoon of olive oil (don't tell Popeye).

2 tablespoons of chopped sage.

75ml (3fl oz) single cream.

1 egg, beaten.

6 egg yolks, seperated. The whites can be frozen in case you fancy making meringues or something. Don't waste grub, people are starving so im told.

Ketchup which is optional.

Now that lot will serve 6. Takes 10 minutes (plus chilling) to prepare and cooks in 30 minutes. Lovely.

How to mix it all up ~

1. Preheat oven to gas 4, 180c. On a lightly floured surface, roll the pastry sheet out until it is a few centimeters larger all around. Trim the edges, cut into 6 even squares, then use each square to line each hollow in a large, 6 hole muffin tin, or 6 individual ramekins. Don't fret if the corners stick up or look untidy unless Michael Winner is popping round. Chill for 20 minutes.

2. Line each pastry cup with a square of non~stick baking paper and fill with baking beans or dried pulses. Bake for 10 minutes then carefully remove the paper and beans and return to the oven for a further 5 minutes, until the pastry is just golden.

3. Put on some Slayer and lay 6 of the bacon rashers on a baking tray and bake for 10 minutes. Set aside.

4. Hungry yet?

5. Chop the remaining 2 rashers of swine and gently fry with the onion in the olive oil for 10 minutes, until the onion has softened but not coloured. Transfer to a bowl and stir in the sage, cream and beaten egg. Season. (Seasons In The Abyss. Slayer).

6. Tuck a bacon rasher into each pastry cup, curling it around to fit. Divide the onion and cream mixture between the tarts and place one whole egg yolk in each. Bake for 10-15 minutes, until the pastry is golden and the bacon rashers are just brown.
Set aside to cool for 10 minutes before turning out, then grind with a little pepper and serve with a dollop of ketchup if ketchup is your thing.

7. Tuck in and enjoy!


If you haven't f**ked up, they should look like this.