Egg On Beard

Th new beard dye didnt catch on

Beards and food. How I love both but sadly they don't love each other. Or maybe they do and thats why they insist on sticking to each other like a furry symbiote, fusing to a body (and yes I read too much Spiderman/Venom stories.)
Pies and eggs are the worst in my opinion. (Others will say soup but ive not experienced the soupy beard strainer myself.) If ever I fancy a fried egg sarnie, like I did earlier, then I can almost guarantee to be tasting egg an hour after ive eaten it. Burgers with the works can prove a whiskery minefield as well with onions, grease, ketchup and mustard making a good beard seem like a wild almost edible Christmas tree.
But you know, some women (the good bad kind) dig this so don't be hasty in grabbing that razor. Never trust a man without facial fungus! And trust less the ones who grow goatees which look a bit like fluff stuck to the chin.