Dragon Ball

*The title to this post was a given if you know your Japanese fighting games

Regular readers of my blog will know that my knowledge of football (a game I have always called 'soccer' despite other Brits insisting its football), begins and ends at zero. Heck, the only reason I know Leicester City won the Premier league is because it was big news and impossible to ignore. It was also a perfect example of how passion trumps money every single time but that's a blog for another time.
Of course nobody needs to be an expert to fire up a prediction (in fact some of the most accurate predictions come from laymen) so seeing as I misplaced my drum roll im going for a 3 - 2 final score in favour of we Welshies.

And why not? Its closer to the mark than our neighbours on the other side of Offa'a Dyke will be getting. You gotta have a ticket to win the raffle

Wales 3 = 2 Portugal

And even if we lose then leaping from a world rating of 117 to arrive at the door of a Semi Final is still hreat going mun.

Dare to Dream, Leicester

Regular readers will know by now that that in the great scheme of all things sport, football features pretty low down on the list. I mean, I would sooner watch show jumping than a game of soccer, but today? In the spirit of all dramas and tradition of change, I will be a footie 'fan' because plucky underdogs Leicester City are on course to deliver a grand upset and add its name to the long list of British sporting achievements. And this is a team that im reliably informed was fighting relegation last season.
Too many things are labelled "legends" and "heroes" these days but Leicester City will become one of the few genuine heroes which is a welcome pause from the shitty news this world serves up.

Leicester City were 5000 to 1 betting odds at the beginning of the season, and even when the doubters did their sour doubting thing the Foxes stayed their course to railroad through, too busy making history to be concerned with doubting Thomas mob.

Anyway enough blah blah, gp Foxes, go!

Cold World Shadow

*These topics could almost write themselves these days but certain topics require more than Twitter

Boxing. Whenever a fighter is seriously injured, the ban hammers emerge wielded by the paper party mob (who to be fair have good intentions and there is nothing wrong with that of course). Boxing is a dangerous sport and nobody wants to see young men and women damaged. But a ban? Come now my friends, if we are going to stop something that might lead to harm, then we might as well get started on a pretty long list of eligible sport/hobbies.
Formula 1, motor sport, rugby, rock climbing, horse racing, even football (wouldn't want the precious dears breaking a fingernail now would we). Allow me a sip of tea on this cold Easter monday, oils the cogs. I admit, I am fairly surprised boxing has lasted as long as it has in this soulless, new world of cotton hearts and yoghurt knitters. This is an era of safety first and damn the consequences, to hell with the future James Hunts and Jack Dempseys. Thou shall not follow a path that might lead to a stubbed toe or split lips.
Are ye with me here? This attitude is infinitely the more dangerous. People aren't daft (mostly), we know the risks and simply chucking a few bans around really won't help, all that does is drive the sport underground to the badlands where the few rules that are in place are not enforced, a place where danger is multiplied tenfold. Im sure the staunchest yoghurt knitter wants this?

*****

Ban. Ban this, ban that. It must be hard living a life with hazard lights on. I don't know how they do it, really I don't. But then I have no iron morals to answer to. Its why the anti death, guns, hunting rabble can't get a bead on me online. All the names are true my friends, even the bad ones (hell especially the bad ones). You can't figh a honest reflection. Now obviously I do have morals and right and wrongs but im a poet before all else and in an effort to power up words its essential to play fast and loose with words.

Llawer o Cariad, a pasg hapus/lots of love and happy Easter x

Second Chance Saloon

So footballer Ched Evans is freed from prison after serving half of a five year sentence for rape. You read that right: rape. And due to the nonsense from his teams fans, his victim has had to get a new identity and move away. Now I like to think I'm a fair man, people screw up and they deserve a second chance. But there exists a group of crimes so heinous and vile, that allowing for a second chance is is something not easily given.
And sexual offences are among the. Evans hasn't even acknowledged his crime and carries on as if nothing happened. He'll just go back to his thousands of pounds a week job while the victim has had to change her life completely. Football, indeed most sport, are funny old things. If you bang in the goals and bring home those trophies, you can get away with anything. And this isn't jealousy over his mega wage, the guy is now a convicted rapist and if I was a supporter of his club, I wouldn't want him playing again. But then I wouldn't put anything past knuckle dragging supporters, success is all, despite having a rapist in the team.
How Evans can even show his face again is beyond me. If it were me, I'd lock myself in my home and never show my face again. The thought of appearing in front of a stadium filled with thousands of people wouldn't cross my mind. But then people like murderers and rapists aren't like us. There's not a shred of remorse or decency in their bones.
Supporters who are standing by him ought to be ashamed of themselves.

Joe Moral the Rat

"I'm going queer in the morning, ding dong the boys are gonna smile.


Apologies to Alan Jay Lerner for my taking liberties with his lyrics (huge fan of My Fair Lady by the way) but strange as it sounds, these were the lines which popped into my head earlier while perusing the tabloid headlines announcing the first wave of gay weddings.
Yes indeedy do! Today is the day! And before this blog goes up in a holy fireball, allow Mr Jakes to spell it out: gay couples in England and Wales can now legally get married. Indeed eager to celebrate this, one of the first homosexual marriages took place at midnight in Brighton and I wish them much happiness. Now for the most part, straight folk are not too bothered and woke up this morning like they do every Saturday; thinking about this afternoons shopping or football before getting themselves airbrushed for a night on the WDK (or whatever 'chic' sugary water is the current tipple for trendy weekend warriors). Its no big deal and my guess is, they (like me) will wish gay couples all the best before getting on with life (there's a Premiership to be won afterall).
It is 2014. Equality is king, and while there are a good many who oppose gay marriage, someone ought to tell them the 'fight' is over and little is to be gained by voicing their opinions (which might sound ironic coming from a blogger Laughs Out Loud). Remember, it is not so long ago that women were fighting for equal rights, and people were sold in chains. Wake up! Those dark days are behind us now, belonging to a time best left in chains of its own, to fester in its ignorance.
Of course taking this post 'solo', readers might come to the conclusion that Dai Jakes is a raving liberal, yet in the past ive been called such gems as "the bastard son of Peter Hitchens and Rush Limbaugh" (now that would be an interesting date *guffaws*) so I am hardly of liberal stock. I just cannot see, or be bothered with, the hate. Its not interfering with my life, and its not like gay marriage is compulsory, so live and let live. When all is said and done, gay marriage doesn't hinder a heterosexuals life but could improve the happiness of a loving gay couple so hush and let them be happily married.
I for one can't abide intolerance. And neither am I fond of irrational outbursts. Examples? Go online to one of the newspaper sites carrying this story (so pretty much every British one) and in the Comments section underneath we can read outraged loons spout things like, "its against God! We will burn in hell!" Or, "disgraceful! Our morals are dead!"
Forgetting that, last time I checked, 74% Brits do not bother going to church so weird how suddenly God makes an appearance. As for our newly discovered moral guardians? Yeah sure, they convince me...until obeying this recently acquired morality iconveniences them in some way.
Listen, the esteemed Mr Jakes isn't perfect and doesn't have the answers to everything but I do know a couple of things: gay marriage is not a plague upon our land, and humanity won't implode in a ball of goodly fire if we allow it. So my advice to naysayers would be ~ lead your own life, cause no bother to others and if you can't be nice toward others, be silent. To the new surge of bible thumpers? Well, hope to see you guys down at the pews tomorrow. It is a Sunday remember!

Toodle pip for now!

Sons Of Success (and Not)

Ganadores

Dai Jakes is not the biggest football fan in the world to say the least but big congratulations are due to Spain, the newly crowned European Champions 2012 after beatig Italy 4 - 0. Spain have now entered sportings history books by becoming the first team to ever to win back to back European Championsips so San Miguel's all round! I didn't watch the game because like I say, im not a fan of the sport but I did have commentary on the radio playing in the background and it sounded an exciting games. (As thrilling as grown men kicking a ball around a pitch could be anyway).
Now of course the Spanish players will all have praise and honour bestowed upon them and rightfully so, its a huge achievement (whatever Mr Jakes happens to think of football) and they should wallow in all the riches and success that will come their way. Good luck to them, its been well earned and proof that ones chosen path in life can truly pay off when dedication is applied.
On the other side of the footballing coin, take a look at England players who have been seen in newspapers, sunning their pale hides in Ibiza and Los Angeles for days now. Wearing oversized sunglasses and with cheap women (money doesnt buy class) hanging off their arms, they look as if they are having a great time but consider this: had they any real talent whatsoever, they would have been in Kiev last night, not California. Toodle pip for now!

The Games Need The Beckham Star

Wot no Beckham?

I believe David Beckham was the reason London got the Olympic Games in 2012. As a truly global name and clean living family man, he was its greatest ambassdor and I like many many others never imagined his place in Team GB would ever be in doubt. (And remember im not even a football fan). But alas Beckham will have no part in the Games because Team GB coach Stuart Pearce has left him out of the squad in favour of three other older players, namely Ryan Giggs, Craig Bellamy and some fellow called Micah Richards. Nice one! Becks practically gets London the Olympic Games single handedly (bit OTT but bare with me) and this is how he is repayed? Not good enough im afraid.
The amount of times Dai Jakes has defended David Beckham you'd think he was on the Becks' payroll (not true unfortunately) but Mr Jakes is only throwing his voice in with the majority of people. Beckham ought to be part of Team GB. Yes he's 37 but he's still very fit and playing professional football, even if is out in Los Angeles. He's as fit as any other plater will be and at exactly the same stage of his career as Ryan Giggs. And dare I say it, Beckham will give 110% everytime, he always does for his country (unlike others I could mention).
Now like I say, I admit to not being a football fan, so I am not aware of Stuart Pearces achievements in the sport but he is being foolish in this decision. (Not to mention a tad spiteful). Even as I type this piece, fans on the radio are phoning in by the dozen to say that one of the reasons they wanted tickets for the football in the Olympics was to see David Beckham and now many have said they will sell their tickets on. Why? Because David Beckham has a star quality that rises way way beyond any other player and its a disgrace that Pearce has left him out. A decision which will hurt the games, you'll see.

Happy With Less

Proud?

England drew 1 ~ 1 with France yesterday at the Euro 2012 competion, and tabloid paper The Sun's headline this morning summed it up for me how far we have slumped when it comes to ambition: "Yippee! A Draw!" Is this really something to crow about? A puny 1 ~ 1 draw? I understand not wanting to be arrogant and cocksure in sports but surely only a win is something to applaud? And yet even the coach, Roy Hodgkinson has said he was happy with the result so I must be missing something.
Doubt many other countries would be very jubilant after a result like this. Who remembers 1 ~ 1? History certainly won't. Players read papers too and when they see the media celebrating a very average performance, they will remain being just that, average. Headlines like this do not ispire winners. Why up your game when supporters and journalists are all seemingly content getting draws? Play as we are playing, no need to use another gear.
I can't imagine this would have been the case of the England 1966 team when they won a World Cup and perhaps this is why England will never win another one. Supporters are too impressed with a lacklustre draw.

Experiment le Euro 2012

Dai's team

Dai Jakes is not a football fan but as there is no getting away from Euro 2012 will get involved in score predictions to see how accurate a non football fan with no knowledge of the sport whatsoever can be with the results.

Today scores according to Mr Jakes:

Poland 1 ~ Greece 1 (Actual score Poland 1 ~ Greece 1)

Czech Republic 2 ~ Russia 1 (Actual score Czech Rep Russia )

Gray Keys ~ Curse of the Sexist hotel

I realise im a few days late coming to this story but please don't be too harsh dear reader, football is a sport I try to ignore as often as possible because in my opinion it is a wretched game, played by ignorant yobs who wouldn't recognise culture if it walloped them on the back of their dense heads. A shining example of money not being able to buy intelligence or class.
Sky Sports have this week, sacked Andy Gray and Richard Keys for sexist remarks made to a female presenter and a female lineswoman, and reading various online media there is more dirt to be dug it would seem. Is anybody shocked? Truly shocked by this behaviour?


Football ~ a load of old balls

Everytime I dare to glance at the tabloids (which I do often as they are like crack cocaine) there is a story involving some footballer or other, rolling out of a nightclub at 4am or whooping it up with prostitutes. Hardly the role models they have sadly become. Lets be honest here, you don't have to venture far to find a sordid story on one of these oafs.
Allow me to slow my horses down a little here. I am not saying this is true of ALL players. Long time readers of my blogs will know that I have nothing but praise for people like David Beckham and Michael Owen, who seem to have kept fairly sensible heads on their shoulders, despite all the nonsense and riches offered to footballers these days.
No, it is to the louts and neanderthals of the game that I am aiming this at. The moronic, witless, crude, bores with their gentlemen's 'handbags' and vulgar looking sportscars. The alcoholics and wife beaters, who think their skills on a pitch excuse them of misdemeanours off it. And the ex players who believe past glories allow them to be sexist pigs.
Football is a rotten sport, played by mostly spoilt ignoramuses. Hopefully Gray and Keys will be suitably embarrassed but probably not. They'll claim to be in the newspapers of course but anyone with half a mind (and thats still more than these types have) will see through the B/S.

* I have also read that Talksport have interviewed Keys today. Talksport, you know the station. The one that employs more than its share of ex footballers and almost zero female presenters. Yeah like they would know anything about equality.

I Pledge Allegiance To....Anyone

One of the greatest mysteries of this world has nothing to do with black holes or the undiscovered creatures of the ocean. Its a lot closer to home actually and lies with that horrible sport of football. (Okay it can be any sport but its more prevelent in the game our American cousins like to call 'soccer'.) Football teams to be precise and why people who were not born in say Manchester support that particular team? Why do Welsh people support a team from England? Why do they wear the colours? And why do I care? Well that ones easy - because its annoying!
And I know it shouldn't bother me what other people do and who they support. They're free to support whoever they like and thats quite right, they are. Same as im free to whine like a brat on my own slice of teh interwebz.
Swansea is the nearest 'big' football club to people in Carmarthenshire, yet every day all I see are Chelsea or Manchester United jerseys. Why?? You have no connection with either place if you were not born there so you CANNOT POSSIBLY feel the same emotions when you win or lose that people who were born/live there feel. And I know this to be true because I used to 'support' the Colorado Avalanche ice hockey team but it was an empty support so I quit.


real Scarlet runs in my blood

The only sporting team I have ever REALLY supported and FELT passionate about is the Scarlets rugby team and im proud of the fact I attended Stradey comprehensive school which was just across the road from the legendary Stradey Park, the Scarlets former ground before the move to Parc Y Scarlets.
I know more than my teams history because I was brought up in Burry Port, a mere 7 miles from the club and I understand its ysbrid (spirit) and the hwyl (cheer) we get everytime we score a winning try. When old players like the late, great Ray Gravell or others write books about the Scarlets I know all of the in jokes and the grounds and pubs they mention. Someone born in Carmarthen but following Aresenal can't say that. For them the support is very distant and they know nothing of the local spirit. Its a hollow thing for sure.
I can't get my head around wanting to support Manchester United and the like, unless of course its purely for glory. And a glory hunter is a sad person. At the end of the day, to someone supporting far away teams, a win or loss is the same thing. Its simply numbers to them. Its probably similar to catching fish only to toss them back.
I fail to see the pleasure in glory only and to grow as a human you need to experience failure and defeat also. Perhaps there lies the answer, those knuckleheads with pot bellies in Manchester shirts who come from the beautiful wilds of Wales haven't grown up yet.