Gelert's Welsh Rugby Prediction

Lets face it, humans make too may errors. So Dai Jakes put his red dragon pattern wellies on and trudged out to ask the esteemed sheep Gelert, near Merlin's Hill field in Carmarthen what todays 6 Nations score will be in the Wales v Italy game. Over to you Gelert....



So there it is. Iechyd da pawb!

Last Orders on Titanic

The captain makes sure

Dai Jakes finds it highly unlikely that the woman who claims she saw Captain Smith, drunk on the Titanic, before it sunk is telling the truth in her letter. If we're not mistaken she was in Second Class, however she says the good captain was drinking (allegedly) in the First Class saloon. No way she could have seen him in that case because the riff raff were very strictly segregated on ships in those times. With good reason too we hasten to add. Last thing you want is to be rubbing shoulders with some peasant hacking into a cheap hand rolled cigarette while you lunch on lobster.

Wires In The Ether

I just found this online:

Should You Hire a Social Media Manager?
"Did you know you can also outsource your social media? There are people out there whose job is to handle other peoples’ social media marketing, saving them oodles of time on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, Constant Contact, you name it".

So this is it then. Evolve 2.0 The Modern Soul. The humble chat room has arisen into something that nobody can escape or ignore. (And please excuse me being overly dramatic here, its just my way). Some internet users a few years ago claimed they would never sign up to socila media sites but now it would seem they will have to. Or miss out.
And those note yet 'webbed up' are unaware of the monster that lurks in the wings. It will come for them too, as surely as the microwave nudged the oven onto the subs bench.
If we are so 'internet minded' that people are suggesting we hire 'social media managers' then the wires have truly gotten under our human skin.

Lenient Sentences and Sicker Paragraphs

The story about 29 year old Gemma McCluskie, an actress whose headless body was found in London is terribly sad, and my thoughts go out to her family and friends. Nobody should have to meet death in such a grusome way and so young. One would think most people would feel the same and no doubt the saner ones do (I haven't lost ALL hope yet) but there are also twisted individuals who think this tragedy is comical. They are merrily creating sick 'jokes' and posting them all over the internet, on joke sites and in news comments and frighteningly very few have pulled these creeps up on their vile antics.
Who killed compassion? When did it wither on the vine and dry with the sand? Some folk have totally and utterly lost any thread of humanity. Why on earth has a brutal murder become the subject of such hilarity? Are we so desensitised to violence and horrors that it has become acceptable to poke fun at the headless body of a young woman?


Justice be done. Or we will be...

I believe a lot of blame can be pointed at our lenient sentencing. Afterall if the State thinks a crime warrants a lenient sentence, the public believe the crime to be not too bad. Five years for rape? Tweleve years for murder? Those crimes cant be that heinous then can they? If, as the Anti death penalty mob are fond of saying, a country killing its murderers are simply saying its okay to kill, then surely one handing out soft punishment is doing the same?
And this allows the rot to seep deeper into society because we start to see violent crime as almost trivial. Go back to Victorian times, or even as recent as the 1940/50s. Crime was dealt with much more severly then than it is now and as a consequence of that people respected the law of the land. Id even go so far as suggest folk had sympathy when their fellow man suffered at the hands of thugs and murderers. Why? Because back in those distant days, killing somebody meant you would recieve the full weight of justice. People knew it was a serious offence when they witnessed murderers hang for it.
Fastforward to 2012 and we are seeing killers freed before they've even had time to grow a decent beard! As a result of this, murder doesn't send the same shockwaves through towns and cities anymore so idiots on the internet cannot see the harm in posting tasteless 'jokes'. And there is no use being angry at these trolls, we have done this to ourselves.
The way to save humanity from turning in on itself and getting warped out of recognition is withdrawing the woollen mitten we currently use to punish serious crime, and replace it with something that will actually put a dent in it. Do this and respect will fall into place by its own motion.

Ordinary Superstar

Famous people, you have to love them. It would seem that behind the flashing cameras, toothy smiles and crates of loot, all they want is to be normal. Like you and I. Take Johnny Depp for example. Ive just spotted a quote of his where he spouteth, "I just want to be normal, get older, have a beer belly and look at a lake". You can have mine if you'd like Mr Depp!
Does anybody actually believe these people when they say things like this? Or is it simply a nonsense attempt to 'keep it real'? And Johnny with a beer gut? That would be fun to see, if only to prove the beautiful folk are human too. I understand their thirst for normality because as a reclusive creature by nature, fame wouldn't be my cup of tea. In fact even thinking about it is enough to cause sweaty palms. To recieve the amount of attention people like David Beckham get, would be a torment worse than a stint in the bowels of hell. No thank you very much!
But would the famous really want to leave their fortune and glory to be a beer bellied slob? I think you know the answer.

Little Man In Yellow

So in the news today, a grandmother has been fined seventy five quid by a 'litter enforcer'. Why? Did she leave a half eaten parcel of chips on the pavement for the seagulls to finish off? Or fly-tip a few moth eaten sofas and a manky fridge in a hedge? Nope, neither of these. So what gives? Why the £75 for granny? It seems a strand of cotton had come free and fallen from her glove, which was spotted by the 'enforcer' who promptly wrote out the fine. Oh my good God! Send for the stocks and rotting vegetables! This lady needs put in place!
What a farce! What absolute tosh! More proof that these jobsworths are nothing more than pocket sadists, who believe the gnats privates amount of power they hold give them the might of kings. Pathertic little turds! Anyone with even half a mind could see that falling thread from clothing does not constitute deliberate littering. Are the council employing retarded half wits these days to tick some quota or something? Looks like it from where im typing.
Happily for the lady involved, it seems that Blaenau Gwent council have seen sense and revoked the fine after 'an investigation', but I hope they give her a few pounds extra for the stress and humiliation caused. Afterall money is tight for everyone these days and finding £75 is a big ask from pensioners, and no doubt her name was published in the 'fines column' of her local paper. Oh and sack the wally who issued the fine too. Jumped up tosspot.
Im all for clamping down on litter louts (hell id introduce a Corrective Work Order scheme like Singapore), but common sense must be applied when punishing people. A single thread of cotton falling from a glove? Hardly a skip full of rubble and broken chairs is it? Also whats with the title 'Litter Enforcer'? Is this what these cretins are officially called? If it is then its little wonder such pencil pushing bullies are attracted to the job because the word 'enforcer would make the worms feel like Judge Dredd. My guess is 70% of them daydream of having had a career in special forces but I digress.
Im glad the council involved realised their mistake and scrapped the fine and I would love to believe issues like this are few and far between but I can't see it myself. Afterall you give a sheriffs badge to someone who has no real, legitimate power and you create a monster. With a small penis.

St David's Day Blessings

Balchder Cymru

Dydd Gwyl Dewi Sant Hapus Pawb! Happy St David's Day Everyone! Blessings to you from the Dai Jake's Book!
And this year we are rugby Triple Crown winners, who could be heading for another Grandslam so there is an added Celtic glow over the mugs of Glengettie and bowls of Cawl today. The Welsh spirit is indeed charged with gusto and hwyl!
The poem 'Armes Prydein Fawr' (written around 930) proves how popular St David was/is. In the poem, the poet prophesised that when all seems lost, the Welsh would follow the Saint and be victorious over the english. Check out this line from the piece ~ "A lluman glân Dewi a ddyrchafant!" Which translates to, "And they will raise the pure banner of Dewi!" Stirring isn't it? A calling of the clans to unite!
Dai Jakes is certainly looking forward to eating Cawl & Welshcakes later, whilst pounding out Dafydd Iwan singing the fabulous Yma O Hyd. He will be lost in a patriotic fog of Cymraeg and tears of sheer pride will roll down the whiskery chops.
Enjoy the day everyone! Cymru Am Byth!!