Poltergames

Missing since 31st September

On the sunday morning just gone I was relaxing after a good night on the grog with a game of Tee Off (golf) on my Dreamcast console. The title is not a particularly amazing one but its part of my treasured games collection and in my opinion it has the right balance of difficulty for a golf game. But now its gone, having seemingly disappeared forever into the ether. Wedi mynd as we say in Welsh. Done a runner as the street kids say.
To be honest its quite frightening as there is no place for it to gone to. You see I am lucky enough to have a games room which is soley used to play videogames in. We don't eat in this room, or watch movies. Theres no seating save a giant beanbag because this it is a place dedicated to games. And as a keen gamer and a fussy collector I rarely take any of the hundreds of titles out of this room. It is my inner sanctum where I go to escape back into a time long gone and head for a different world.
Which is where I fear Tee Off has disappeared to. I have looked in every corner, inched along the skirting board like sozzled woodlouse but to no avail. There is no golf game to be found and its beginning to frustrate the bacon out of me. Where the fudge can it be?? I have checked other rooms on the offchance I broke my golden rule of never taking things out of my digital den but nada. Its gone like Shergar.
Could it be ghosts? This is the only rational explanation I can arrive at. Ive read of mischeivous poltergeists moving peoples belongings around (there are plenty of these stories in Welsh legends) and this must have been the fate of Tee Off. I keep a tight check on my ever growing games collection and these little gems never go AWOL on my watch. Pesky ghosts.

Wheel Out The Tyburn Tree

One of the vile vermin (I cant bring myself to call him a 'man') who was involved with the death of Baby P will be released on Friday it has been reported, and to add insult to this tragedy the b@astard will be given a new identity and more than likey plastic surgery to keep him safe from a rightfully angry mob.
How do I feel about this? Well being as im firmly in the Pro Death Penalty camp (you can find me posting under the screen name The Broker on ProDeathPenalty .com) I am absolutely fuming.
As anger is a great emotion to sculpt thoughts I will say exactly what I said on Facebook when I heard this news; that precious baby's killers should all be hanged at the Tyburn gallows (it could support triple hangings). There is no rehabilitation for scum who leave over 50 injuries including a snapped spine on a child. There is no change or reform; only death could ever be punishment enough. The hanging, drawing & quartering type. FREE? This is the reflection of a sick society indeed.
A common saying with the anti mob are "dont kill in my name." Well dont free them in my name either. Im certainly not part of this illness which has gripped the UK and Europe. Giving murderers a second chance? Its madness and will end in tears.


The Tyburn Tree could hang multiple inmates

This is what happens when a country foolishly abolishes the death penalty. Other sentences like life in prison get lowered because in scrapping capital punishment, we are almost saying that murder isn't so bad afterall. The less sentences criminals recieve, the less harm the public believe has been done. And its wrong. Not only wrong but wholly disgusting.
These evil swines (and im being unfair to pigs there) should never be seeing the light of day again! Hell at the very least they ought to be on a secure ward in Broadmoor until the end of their wretched days. They brutally murdered a child and they deserve freedom??! You sick, sick kitties.
The general public will be fetching the scythes and burning torches over this and good for them. This will do grave harm to society because when authorities are prepared to let sadistic child killers go unpunished (and with those type of sentences they did go unpunished), then respect for our judicial system flies out the court window.
This poor baby was let down by his 'parents' (and it galls me to call them that) and now Baby Peter has been let down by justice. Throughout his cruelly short life, everything was stacked against him and there was no hope. Even the law of the land mocks him, as it does with every victim of crime. No smarmy words from politicians and do-gooders could ever convince the public otherwise.
Great Britain? Criminal Britain more like. A land where causing over 50 injuries to a young child and eventually causing his death will earn you a three year prison term.
And to all those against capital punishment; I would rather have the death of one innocent executed on my conscience, than the deaths of many children.

Hitting The Big Four O

In 22 days God willing I will turn 40. I will be forty years old. Am I daunted by this? Am I running around like a headless chicken (headless chickens are cool), trying to somehow find a way to stop the relentless march of time? Well in a word, no. On the contrary I am looking forward to it like I would a triple cheese pizza delivered by Emily Deschanel wearing nothing but high heels.
My thirties were blighted by the deaths of close family members, and spells of addiction and desperate lows. In my early thirties I feared at times that I would lose myself and never find my way back. They were horrid, filled with nasty dramas and the further I get from them in years, the happier I feel.
The only bright periods were meeting She Who Must Be Obeyed and the arrival of my daughter at the end of last year. Oh and the times Ive spent in Ireland! The rest of the time from 29 to 40 can go to hell.


Emily ten minutes before the pizza turned up

Thirty for me was being inbetween the bell and the rainbow, or like being a novice cobweb. In other words I still felt (or feel) the giddy learner, groping at Life's seams. From 30 to 39 is plywood. At 20 I had acceleration, from 40 I'll have it with purpose. Bring it on with all its four decades of anticipated glory!
Most people are afraid of getting older but the fear really is an anathema to me. One must suffer a great deal with insecurity if they look at birthdays beyond 40 with dread. These days age is not like it was a hundred years ago due to the advances in medicine and different lifestyles in general.
And face it, 40 is hardly old age. If I were to flake out right now at this keyboard, it would be a young age I would have died at, regardless of how close I am to being 40. Also what about those poor souls who were unfortunate to not live long in this life? The children and teenagers. I find it insulting in the extreme when folk bemoan the fact they are getting older, when others didn't ever get the chance.
No, like I say, im looking forward to it and many drinks will be downed in celebration not sadness on August 23rd.

Religion Pigeons

Religion gives me a headache. Organised religion gives me a headache x100. And there is nothing worse than Christains and Muslims (or any other faiths) bickering online. I thought this faith stuff was all about peace and love? Theres precious little of either between these sheeple. (People + sheep, geddit?) All I see and hear are spiteful, bitchy remarks falling from the mouths of supposedly mature human beings.
"The Koran teaches to beat your wives and stone adulterers!" Sez the Christians. "Christians are all immoral boozers!" Chant the Muslims. While the Jews who not being as mouthy, stand around and wonder at the foolishness of it all. And im with them. If Heaven or Nirvana or wherever actually exists, I sincerely hope these folks aren't on the invite list. Too much Hate in them.
Im currently reading the Koran for my own interest and it has some beautiful passages in it (as does the Bible), I wish others would pick up a copy too. The ones who rubbish it while clearly never having read it.
One thing ive noticed is at least Islam is a religion that recognizes and respects Abraham, Moses and Jesus as wonderful prophets. A pity Christianity doesn't return the favour. And I have heard Muslims speak of Christ but the church however do not consider Muhammad as a prophet ever. Why? Some kind of spiritual insecurity?


Word!

I will probably get whiners for having written this in slight favour of the Koran but seeing as both books preach the same thing, I don't believe ive done any great harm. I have much admiration for any *insert chosen faith here* who go about their life in peace and without spiteful remarks toward other beliefs. To those who are offended by other religions then you need to reconsider your stance because it is a cold door that awaits you, and a very rough path beyond this one in Life.
Actually a fitting Afterlife for these narrowminded pew sitters and prayer mat botherers would be a giant, eternal childrens play park complete with Dunces hats and snidey angels.
Allāhu Akbar!

A New Vote on Death?

Next week my fellow blogger Guido Fawkes is launching an online petition
to get the death penalty restored. Or at least get MP's voting on it once again and debating, thus bringing it to peoples attention. Will it do any good? Will we as a whole suddenly snap out of our forgiving mindset regarding murderers and instantly decide to abandon soft prison sentences in exchange for the return of the noose? I sincerely doubt it as good fortune is in short supply these days (unless you happen to be a criminal) but it does prove that hopes of a death penalty haven't disappeared.
You see when the lily hearts finally grow up and throw away their liberal all-life-deserves-a-second-chance fad, we will bring back capital punishment like I have often told you we would. To be against the death penalty is a fairly new 'trend' which will take a few years to shake off as all nasty viruses do. Its not unusual for countries to test new waters and try different approaches to punishment for example but these tests will be abandoned when it is seen that nothing good comes of it.

Killers: walk this way

And seriously, what good can ever become of softening prison sentences for violent crimes? This new petition sees to employ the death penalty for those who murder children and police officers. Is there any other suitable punishment for those who commit such crimes? A sane, right minded person would think not.
Personally I would bring the the hemp rope back for all murders (even rape and drunk driving which results in death) but at least this would be sailing in the right direction.
Anyway im very happy for this petition because at least I know im not the only one thinking about it. You see when something is truly dead, like for instance hanging, drawing & quartering, then it remains so. But hope for the death penalty is still alive in the UK. And as long as it is, it could always come back to the table.

I Love Sugar

Sugar rush: hitting all the right notes

I have been an avid porn consumer (that sounds SOOO right!) since the age of 13 when adult magazines used to 'fall' in my schoolbag like they were addicted to my biro ink and tippex. And when I passed for 18 when I was only 15 the hard ons really began. By the way, all that grot hasn't made me blind but I do still feel as fresh now as I did in my teens. But this is to be expected because as any connoisseur of pornography knows, a good skin flick keeps you young!
I have watched a ton of these movies (and then some) and due to my dedication to celluloid bonking I feel rightly qualified in being able to suggest some great titles of the adult silver screen.
Candy's Little Sister, Sugar is one such film. Made in 1988, I saw this when it was first released and it is is a horny piece of XXX cinema. So track it down (its available on the interwebz) and follow dim witted Sugar (Ariel Knight) as she attempts to find a fortune that her uncle Wilbur has left her in his will, so that she can realise her dream of attending word processing school. (I say fortune, old pervy Wilb has only left her $2,434).
There are some real porn legends in Candy's Little Sister, Sugar including Laurel Canyon, Mike Horner, Nina Hartley, Peter North and the late John Leslie as the improbably named Johnny Dooropener.
A wonderful blue movie that caters for every 'taste'. *wink*

Buried Without A Glance

When I was a lot younger than the youngster I am even now; when I had interest in sticklebacks in jam jars and jawbreakers, I was told when I asked of death (its fascinated me since birth) that everyone is born with a spiritual Elf who is reeling the soul in with invisible thread. We each have alloted time on earth and when the thread runs out we cross over to the soul lounge. This is how it was explained to my young (and impressed) self.
Now as we do not know when our line runs out, or how fast the Elf is winding it in, I am going to publish in this here blog all the popular books, film, music, etc that I have never picked up. Ignored. Shunned. Passed by. Refused. Could not be assed.

**** DISCLAIMER ****
Im not trying to be the cool, indifferent guy here who hates all the popular sh!t. Hell I love Abba, Coronation Street, bacon, beer and Clint Eastwood and nothing is more appreciated than those things (aside from the soap opera). Its simply how I feel and how ive always felt.


Comprende?

Then I'll begin...

Star Trek

The only time I have ever watched this is when Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan came on the television once around a hundred years ago. I gave it a chance and watched the first half hour before concluding that my life wouldn't be the poorer without it. In fact the opposite seemed very clear. So all of these Spock references that others have made over the years have fallen dead at my feet like fumigated weasels and flat, warm lager.

The Beatles and Queen

My dislike for these bands is well known and I have written about it in other posts. I have never listened to an album by either of these acts, and only heard whats been played on the radio (until I reach the station tuner). Im no musician but they both have boring sounds (in my opinion) and their lyrics border on the childish. And yet they were huge. Weird.

Comedians

I have never ever once watched anything by the likes of Steve Coogan, Caroline Aherne, Jack Dee, Peter Kay etc etc. I dont watch television much and this bunch would get me no nearer the remote.

James Bond

Out of all these films Ive watched two right through (Tomorrow Never Dies and Casino Royale) and two I got to halfway (Octopussy and Living Daylights). I never understood the appeal of spy movies and Bond in my opinion was an utterly unimpressive one. Bored me until my teeth itched.

Harry Potter

Never read the books or watched the films. I would rather peel my eyeballs and dunk my fingers in a meat mincer. I couldn't give a flying f**k about any of this rubbish.